Moving in with Friend?

So, interesting situation.

One of my friends has decided to start traveling. She's been gone this past month and asked me to stay at her place and watch her apartment because someone has to take care of her 3 cats and fish. So that's what I've been doing.

In talking with her since she's been gone, she's told me that she plans on getting rid of this apartment and finding a cheaper one somewhere else. She also has asked me to move in with her so that she has someone there that she trusts to do exactly what I've been doing (watching the apartment, keeping it clean, taking care of the pets), which I would love to do.

She is also quite a messy person and has trouble keeping things clean on a livable level. It is also important to mention that she was in an accident about 5 years back in which she lost an arm. Therefore she has disability coming in once a month (which is why she can both travel, and have an apartment). It is because of this that she's had "friends" in the past who have taken advantage of her. Moved in randomly, lived off of her, several have stolen her things, used her place as a hotel room for their friends without asking her, stolen money, eaten all her food, etc. Granted, she allows this to happen, but I don't want to be another one of those people that does that to her.

The problem here is that I really don't make enough to pay rent. I've been rolling around in my head what to do, what would be fair to her. I know I would be keeping her place clean for her, that's no big deal. I would also be taking care of her animals 90% of the time since she plans to be gone.

I want to hear from an outside source what would sound good to you? What should I do in this situation?
I could keep the place stocked with groceries? Save up a decent chunk of money to give her when I DO see her, seeing as she's gonna be on the road most of the time? How much would be a good trade off for keeping her apartment like this? I want to be fair and save money for both of us in this instance.

I want to be as fair as possible. What all do you guys think I should do?

 

If you can't make enough to pay half-months rent in a cheaper place with her, maybe she will be okay with you taking good care of everything like you already do. I see how you don't want to feel like your taking advantage of her, ad that's really noble of you.

Maybe you can pay 1/3 rent? And take care of the place while she travels? You'd have to talk to her.

 

as well as all of the above, if your both into it, maybe offer her some sexual favors in compensation for rent $?

 

I plan on it. We still have more discussing to do. But that's just the thing. With the way she is, she would allow me to simply live there without doing anything. That's just her personality. She never asks for anything in return. Not even groceries, cleaning, or a third of the rent. I imagine the conversation would go something like this:

Me:"Okay...so...I don't know that I can afford to pay half the rent. It would be awesome if I could."

Her:"That's fine."

Me: "I can give you some cash now and then?"

Her: "No, it's totally cool."

Me: "How much do you think a month?"

Her: "Oh, it doesn't matter."

Me: "Groceries? I can get groceries."

Her: "Really? You don't have to....you can if you want."

Really, I could live here without doing anything, cleaning anything, etc. and she wouldn't say anything. I've seen it happen to her too many times. Then she will vent about it to other people now and again but not actually say "Get out."
I should also probably have that conversation with her. If she ever has any problem with me or needs something, TELL ME. Don't hold it in.

 

Sounds like you don't have much of a problem at all if you think she'll be cool with it. Help with groceries and some utilities once in a while

 

I think it's important that you get her to agree with her on an exact payment plan, whether it's paying $100 to groceries a week or what have you. From what you stated, she may agree with any terms, but do what's fair an stick to it, even if she would let you out of the deal.

 

When in a roommate type of situation, I think each person's share of the expenses should be based on their respective incomes. The roommate who makes the most money should pay the most money, as long as the other roommate isn't purposely slacking off and making less money because they know they can get away with it.

 

could you comfortably afford 1/3 rent/utilities? if you were to pay that much and completely take care of the apartment and the pets, that seems fair. don't pay for her groceries, buy your own and keep them separate. sharing groceries is stupid and roommates should avoid it whenever possible.

an alternative: could you possibly pick up more hours at work, or move to a higher paying position?

 

that's what the bf keeps telling me. Make sure there's a deal made. Which I agree with.

Just a matter of setting those boundaries for myself. Figuring out what should be considered fair and what shouldn't be. I needed some outside perspectives. lol

 

Agreed. Many people are more than willing to curb stomp a bitch when a "what happened to that piece of cake I was saving?" situation arises.

 

I don't know her exact income for what she receives per month but I do know that her apartment now is costing her $1100 a month and she's still able to travel and live pretty comfortably. This is why people have always been like "Oh, she can afford it." and less, "It's my responsibility too."

 

Still, it would be nice to pay at least a little bit, if you can afford it. It's very easy for people with money to feel like they're being taken advantage of or feel unappreciated.

That being said, I don't know the type of person she is. maybe she's just a very generous person and realizes money is meant to be spent. lol

 

I can barely afford the bills I pay now. Although, I am looking into cutting back on as much of it as possible (downgrade car insurance, downgrade on phone capabilities, etc)

I WOULD pick up more hours or try a higher paying position, but unfortunately that is not available at my place of employment. Everyone there is part time and getting paid the same (aside from the annual $.50 raises, but there's not much I can do about that). And we get a set amount of hours to distribute each week and theyre all divided up pretty evenly.

Needless to say, I've been looking into a new higher paying job. But I have to be pretty flexible right now, not knowing where we're going to move to just yet.

 

Can you explain this? I'm genuinely curious.

 

that's actually exactly the type of person she is. The way she sees it is that she doesnt have to work for it and it will be spent anyways, so she wants to help people if and when they need it.

I do plan on paying her a set amount, just wanted to gauge this entire situation and see what's set.

$100 is actually what I've been thinking, just gotta make sure I can afford it so I can hold up my side of the deal.

 

i suppose it would be comparable to a progressive tax system.

 

Basically, the person who makes more money should pay a larger percentage of the shared expenses. It should be based on each party's respective incomes, like I said in my previous post.

 

I understand what you meant. I was curious about why you think that is fair and equitable...

 

Because the person making less money than the other person may not be able to afford as much and, as long as they're pulling their weight as much as they can, I think it's fair. "Pulling one's weight", in the financial sense, should be based on how much one person's income is, while also being based on how much the other person's income is.

I don't know if I'm explaining it in the best way, due to the fact that I'm under the influence of alprazolam, but whatever. lol

 

she's getting "free" money and getting to travel while someone takes care of her shit. just make sure the place is clean and comfortable and the fridge is stocked whenever she is in town. make her meals. win win, win win win.