moving new place with new boyfriend

maybe i'm just a scaredy cat. but my guy and i have been dating, long distance style for about six months. he's getting a better job in grand rapids, and has asked me to move with him. i really dunno. i can't get it off my mind. move away from everything i've known, live a new life in grand rapids, working in a greenhouse (which i want very much) or.... continue as i have been in chicago, visiting him from time to time.
what to do?!

i feel like a relationship is a cage. he doesn't hold me back, he lets me be as free as i please. but, i can't shake the feeling of wanting to say no. it sounds nice, doesn't it? but we aren't in love, i can't handle people sometimes. i dunno. D:

 

Not in love you say? I think that pretty much points to staying in Chicago.

 

Sweet home Chicago... there is a reason for it.

 

^ agree.
also, when you are in love you don't feel like a relationship is a cage ..
don't go

 

Why move your life if you are not even in love? Makes little sense to me!

 

You've only been together for six months and you're not even in love with him, or sure that a relationship is what you want...I'd say stay in Chicago.

 

if you were in love it would be a different story. 6 months is plenty of time to at least know if you have the potential to fall in love with someone. If it isn't there, then why uproot your life for something you know has an expiration date?

 

Stay......

 

well, i'm not in love YET, is what i meant to say. i know its happening. i just take a big longer, i suppose. i also don't like to say it unless i know i mean it. i'm not one to rush things.

but moving in together at six months seems like a rush to me. moving would be nice though. i need something new. and he would be a great person to live with, i'm sure we'd have some great memories.

i have always felt more comfortable being alone, in a relationship, i've had exes so upset i didn't share everything with them. but i can't do that. i am my own person.

but..... ack. i dunno. i have no unrealistic expectations about this. it would be a good idea for both of us to move, he needs this job, and i would be in an area more abundant in my type of career. i've lived with exes, but they tended to be much more controlling, while rion is more accepting of me than any guy i've had before.

tis something i must give thought to.

i've lived in chicago my whole life. i want something new, but i am also afraid to leave it so permanently.

do you get where i'm coming from?

 

six months doesn't seem to me long enough to fall in love with someone. i've had so many exes who claimed to love me after less time together, and i just don't understand it. six months is like the blink of an eye.
i'll never be sure if any relationship is what i want, thats part of who i am.

i know there's potential. plenty of potential. but everything has an expiration date. i'm not unrealistic in thinking that THIS IS THE ONE, WE WILL BE TOGETHER FOREVER~!~~~~~
i dunno. just trying to weigh my options.

 

Follow your heart, whatever you feel that is, maybe right now though isn't the right time, maybe when the cage has gone.

 

man, i hate using my heart for direction. much prefer logic and reason ):

 

...sounds like you'd have an amazing experience no matter how it turns out. Good luck.

 

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhh youre right.

 

you should get out of the ghetto. but that doesn't mean you should move in with someone you're not ready to live with. maybe get your own place in grand rapids?

 

That is part of the idea. but then there's the concept I don't have the luxury of living alone. and its not he, I'm not ready to live with. It's the general anybody I'm not willing to live with.

 

i'm a little confused. you can't live alone and you can't life with anybody else?

 

I totally understand that. I do think that us telling you what to do won't help you decide. But you should take some time to think about this and eventually you'll come to a decision. Write a pros and cons list or something :2thumbsup:

 

sometimes thinking instead of feeling leaves you lonely

 

A Wise Thought From One So Old...



Cheers Glen.