Ok I am really confused and could use some advice. This girl that I am into has been dating a guy for 3yrs. We have always been friends, and I always kinda felt a certain connection with her even though she had always claimed not to be into the "lesbian thing". She dumped the guy back in March, and started dating this one chick. I was SOO excited because I knew that I would finally be able to share my feelings. But then she tells me that she is not sure that shes Bi let alone lesbian??? She says that she is not even into the "lesbian thing". I'm thinking if you're not into the "lesbian thing" why claim to have a gf? She says that she is the ONLY girl she has ever been attracted to, and prefers men. I keep thinking then why the hell are you with her if you're not fully into women? My question to you guys is, do you think she is just going through a phase since she is still fairly fresh out of a long term relationship? I have never seen a girl BE with a girl, but say at the same time that shes not into girls???? She says she is more into men.....? Please help me guys I really REALLY like her.
my guess is the guy she was with hurt her so bad she was afraid to go back to men, so she turned to a woman but at some point realized she was doing it because it felt safer and not because of any real attraction. i say this from the perspective of someone thats been burned pretty bad by a couple of men and at one point distrusted men so bad that women started to look pretty damn appealing. thats just my guess, i could be way off base.
It's funny because whenever we talk about her ex bf, she always trying to defend him. AND to make matters worst I just found out that he is trying to talk to her again .
That all sounds pretty complex; but it might be something much simpler. Perhaps its just that she isn't into you in that way (you know how personal chemistry is - sometimes it's all one way) - but she doesn't want to come straight out and say it. Maybe she is trying to protect your feelings, or yours and her friendship. All the other relationship complexities would be a good distraction from having to be more direct about it. Is that a possibility?
well to her i am one of those friends that she confines in. I SERIOUSLY doubt that she knows about my feelings for her. The only reason why I feel this way is because I have been holding back how I truly feel. I am more so concerned that she may not be into women, but what can I do you know? I know her ex bf, and he isn't a jerk. He neglected her feelings but was still a good guy to her. I am worried that they may get back together. I just wish I had an idea. I guess I was curious to see if anyone here has had the same experience. I have openly been into women my whole life so its hard to say from my side.
Hmm, If she is going through a phase and you continue to persue her and it works, then you will be the one hurt in the long run. I would continue to be her friend and look elsewhere for a girlfriend
