My Adventures In The Shallow End Of The Pool...

Long read ahead....you've been warned.

I'm gonna be honest as possible here.
I am 40-ish years old, and have been in several serious relationships that worked fairly well for many years, including two marriages involving home ownership, kids, and everything a mature relationship implies.
My wives, girlfriends, partners, whatever you wanna call them...were all reasonably attractive and independent women with decent heads on their shoulders, and while sex with them as a collective was never really "mind-blowing"....it was pretty decent, and I rarely had a complaint.
It's relevant to this topic to note that most of these women were within a range of 6-10 years younger than me, but no younger than that. I have always maintained an appearance of a slightly younger man, so I wanted to pick and choose from that previous decade when physically choosing a mate. While it may have been slightly shallow of me to prefer a slightly younger and more fit woman than what was available in my age group...I always made sure their personalities and interests were compatible with mine and that was always more important than the way they looked.
A compromise between the two. Inevitably, for one reason or another, these relationships ended because I had the Grass-is-Always-Greener Syndrome, and would begin to fall out of love, and wonder what else was out there for me.
Character flaw.
Whatever.

Anywho...

Fast forward to my last and latest "mature" relationship.
Four months ago, I decided to end a four year stint with a 36 year old woman because of her anxiety and our eventual inabillity to cohabitate without fighting every night about....nothing. It got stupid. I won't ellaborate much. It just got old.
I did love her.
Very much.
However, due to the "midlife crisis mode" (or whatever it's called now when 40-somethings begin to yearn for things in the past) I found myself flirting with very young girls on the regular.
Waitresses.
Girls on Facebook.
College girls.
Etc...

I felt...alive. I felt like whatever charm I used to have back in my college days, before I commited myself to "responsible relationships" was back again, and it felt fucking GREAT!

I bought a muscle car.
I started caring about my appearance again.

I mean...I felt so ALIVE...regardless of whether it was right or wrong.
The adrenaline rush of being adored by younger girls (probably with daddy issues....whatever lol) was intoxicating to me.

So, after I left my 4 year partner, I met this incredibly hot 24 year old redhead at a local festival. Right from the get-go, our eyes met and it was instant chemistry (lust) and we could not stop staring at each other.
Eventually we exchanged numbers and as of today, we've been together for 3 months.

This girl is beautiful. She is everything PHYSICAL any man would ever want in a woman.
I find myself staring at this girl's lips, mouth, ass, legs, stomach., etc.....like a fat man would stare at a Snickers bar.

As for her personality......different story.
She is a hot fucking mess.
She suffers from chronic depression (or so she claims)...and is in constant mood-swing-mode. It drives me absolutely fucking nuts.
She is immature (duh..24), has zero tact at times, and will be happy one second....and calling to scream about how I am cheating on her and don't care the next second.
She is EXTREMELY high maintenance...but it is barely manageable.
It's not easy, but...I find, strangely, that it challenges me to swallow some (a shitload) of my pride, and really focus on someone else for a change instead of myself.
OR... perhaps I am just fooling myself into thinking this new tolerance is making me a better person, just so I can justify the real reason I keep us together.
......because the sex is like driving a Le Ferrari 180MPH through a tunnel while snorting an 8ball of coke.
It's simply amazing.
Mind-blowing.

There is also the whole Arm-Candy factor. I have a very large social circle and it is a great feeling to have my friends and peers jaws drop when I show up with her at functions and events and such....and to hear the comments that feed my shallow natured little ego


Anyway...all this brings me to my question/concern....
Which would be ...my wondering if its even possible to have a successful relationship with a woman, based solely on physical attraction, and little else....
I don't plan on marrying this girl of course, but it depresses me that if we were to break up, I would probably miss her vagina and flat stomach and beautiful mouth....more than I ever missed a woman's loyalty, sanity, or personality.

I guess I am really that shallow.

Thoughts?

 

Well thank you for taking the time to share all that my friend,the girl obviously means alot to you

I dont know what to add but to say KEEP AT IT!! (Dont be afraid to go into deeper water)


God bless!!

 

My first thought after skimming it would say ditch, but perhaps I've grown a little cynical

 

The ability to have a successful relationship is based more on the ability of the people involved to find common ground, ability to work through disputes, and meeting subjective needs and desires.That being said, there's no reason why basing it on the physical attraction you feel for them would preclude you from getting those things. One thing though, you're clear on why you're in it, you just love having a sexy young woman by your side, and the moment that stops being the case, you're out. I don't see why you can't have a 'successful relationship' if you're clear and realistic about what a successful relationship with her would look like. If you're thinking you're going to mold her into a more reasonable person, you might just succeed, and in the process, enable her to get better looking and more successful partners (shooting yourself in the foot).

 

Actually, if you're thinking you're gonna mold her into a more reasonable person, you aren't in an honest relationship to begin with. IMHO

 

Pretty much. You're in the relationship for who they are, not for who you're going to make them.

 

Agreed.
Seems like that's what women do in a relationship...try to change a man from the outgoing alpha male into a docile pet...which usually backfires lol

 

Which is what women do They'd prefer to try and tame a lion than teach a docile dog to grow some balls. In the end, you're left either with a sore vagina from being fucked by the lion, or left with a dumb dog who bores you.

 

Haha...I love you Aussie guys. You guys lack all the subtlety and cut through the BS don't you?

 

Want a 40-something woman's perspective? Let her go. She sounds like a needy lunatic. Do you really need that at this point in your life? There are lots of sexy women your age out there. What are doing running after 20-year-olds? Leave them to the younger guys, seriously! Does your ego really need arm candy? Sorry, but I don't get that...

 

Missmadam, while I am sure you are right that there are lots of sexy 40-yr old women out there....it is a matter of preference right now. Yes, I have been with the women my own age, and while they offer a lot more in terms of intelligible conversation and I can relate better to them...I find myself looking for that shallow need for a perfect body at this moment in my life. It's 100% sexual I assure you. As a female, I can understand where this might not register in your mind....because whether a man will admit it or not...there is a fantasy that exists for the perfect female body, and I'm fairly sure it doesnt involve saggy breasts and stretchmarks.
With regards to arm-candy....I wouldn't say my ego "needs" it....but my god it certainly feels great. Same reason you don't "need" that pair of Jimmy Choo shoes, but you want them anyway

 

To add to this....it might help to know, that I am terribly resentful towards women as a whole, and have been for a long time.
I think maybe using this girl the way I am is helping me cope with that.
Hell I dunno.
I'm pretty sure it's just the sex and the eye candy.

 

Gawd, comparing women to a pair of shoes! That's so strange. And not all middle-aged women have "saggy breasts and stretchmarks," by the way. But I understand where you're coming from. It's not just sexual. You need to feel that you are still desirable. Been there, done that. Best of luck to you... Watch you don't get her pregnant, cause she'll have those saggy breasts and stretchmarks, too! :daisy:

 

LMAO...no worries about the pregnancy thing. I live on the 3rd floor, so an impromptu trip (pun intended) down the stairway should allieviate that concern :devil:
You're wrong in the sense that I feel the need to "feel desireable."
I am at the point in my life I don't really concern myself with that... and my track record tells me I am still relatively desireable.
Don't complicate it or read too deeply into it. I just enjoy sex with a younger more fit woman.
My female friends do the same thing and try and attach these "feelings" and "compensations" to my wants and needs...and I think it just comes down to females overthinking everything and maybe being a little jealous they don't enjoy seeing themselves in the mirror anymore...?
Of course I could be wrong....?

 

You think I cut through the bs? You should go to https://heartiste.wordpress.com/ that shit is crazy.

Going after a way younger girl is perfectly normal. Men and women are different, boohoo feminism we're not the same. Women care about men with higher social standing and wealth, and personality and shit like that. Men care about physical attractiveness, that's just how it is. So you're completely normal in feeling happy with a younger woman. But hey, at least you like her for her, even if it is her tits, better than liking her for her account balance.

Older women will call you all sorts of shit, to shame you into accepting a more wrinkled vagina. I think you'll notice their vested interest in it.

(I'm not claiming 100% of men or 100% of women go for these things, and I'm not claiming certainty)

 

Your mistake is her. You want the ones that want to keep you hidden from everyone.

No reason to put up with dirty looks from every single older woman all the time if its just about sex

If she was making eyes at you at some festival, guaranteed there are others out there same age ,same looks that will just want to sneak into your bedroom and not have to deal with anyone else and likely they are a lot hornier than this one