My friend is pressurising me to get married before 20

Well i am 16 and my best friend she is 16 too basically she said she wants to get married at 18/19 because she doesnt want to be too old, and wants to enjoy marriage life even her mum wants her too get married at 18, anyway she told me what age do you want to get married i said 22/23 and she was like omg thats so old! when are you going to have time to have a family blah blah, and that I need to get married before 20 or i will be at risk help is this true! :S my grandmother got married at 14 or 15 so I dont know, would i be missing out on life if i dont get married before 20?:H

 

it may be fine for your friend or some people, but do whatever the fuck you want. most people i know dont get married until 25 or after, often not until their thirties. many people also choose not to get married.

better to wait and get married to the right person (if you find them) at a later age than to fuck your life up marrying some loser just so you can meet some bullshit deadline.


thinking in terms of age is, in my opinion, extremely stupid. why would you be concerned with ANYTHING other than having the right person and being ready?

 

Your friend doesn't know what she is talking about.

 

I agree. Time doesnt really matter to me. I only want to get married before i cannot have children. Other than that it just matters on how soon i find the right person.

 

My parents didn't get married until they were in their late thirties. There really shouldn't be any rush. It can take time to find a compatible person.

 

wow your friend is extremely misguided. 22 is TOO old? ha! i'm 22... i wouldn't even dare get married until at least age 30. you realize that nearly everyone will tell you that they *wish* they had waited until their 30s to make such an important decision? you realize what marriage is? 18.... lol. hope you don't get divorced in 2 years! good luck!

 

Your friend is probably missing one or two important chromosomes.

How would you being "missing out" if you didn't get married? It's the otherway around. I'm not saying it always is, as I'm sure there are couples that get together at such a young age and live perfectly happy lives together, but I think more times than not they end up on Jerry Springer or Maury throwing chairs and pulling their pants down.

 

you know....men dont go through menopause, despite the name.....

or is your profile lying about your gender?

 

Missing out on life?! Are you kidding? Who in their right minds would want to get married at 18-20?! Jesus, think of all the parties you would miss out on, and all the good times!

 

Pretty much.

Finding someone you want to marry is far more important than when you get married.
Not to mention, most women are completely capable of carrying a healthy child to term at least until they're 40 (and most of the time even past that age, just that for some folks menopause starts kicking in that early)

My mom's best friend didn't get married til he was 39, and his wife was a litle bit younger than that. And they're completely happy with how long they waited, it works for them.

Do you really want to run your life based off the say-so of your friend rather than what you want and feel is appropriate for you?

 

Okay, firstly, this isn't uncommon, and I doubt there are missing chromosomes.

I ran into people who came from smaller towns and the majority of girls marrying before 20 isn't unnusual. It depends on the crowd you're hanging around with. If you do feel 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 33, 43, whatever is too young for you, don't do it.

Your friends and family may have your best interests in mind but this is a decision you will have to live with the rest of your life, or engage in love life akin to Elizabeth Taylor if that's your thing.

Family life is one thing. Think about divorce, and unwanted children if you're truly, psychologically not ready to handle parenthood or a spouse.

Imagine ONE PENIS for the next 60 to 70 years of your life. Is this enough?

In all seriousness, think about the limitations and the benefits.

 

she sounds like a total idiot to tell you the truth. I'd dump her as a friend, no question

 

A couple of questions for the original poster:

1. why do you feel you have to get married at all, ever?
2. why do you have to be married to have children?
3. what is it in life you feel you're missing out on when you're not married?

maybe answering some of these will help you tease out the issues and find your own answers.

 

to add to the questions

why does your friend's input make you feel pressured?
it's just her opinion, no stronger than any other opinion

 

do you like cake?

 

Before thinking of getting married, i would think of getting a degree, a job that i enjoy, travel around a bit and most importantly, meeting a guy who i would consider a prospect good life partner. You can't do all those thing before you reach your mid 20s...what's the rush!!? I'm 23 and I think I'm too young for marriage!!!! i honestly think your friend is just being silly.

 

No, I don't think her friend is being silly. It's rather ignorant to think that your beliefs would coincide with someone else's, don't you think?

 

I got married at 19, and while it's worked out wonderfully for me, it's definitely not for everyone. We had a lot of knock down-drag out fights for the first year, b/c it's extremely tricky to try to figure out the marriage and family stuff while you're still trying to figure out the adult thing. I would reiterate what others have said. It's a very personal choice, and the right choice varies greatly from person to person. My best friend got married just a few months before me and now she's a 21 year old divorcee with a child to raise on her own. If you believe in you heart that you've found that person, go for it. But there's no cut off age by which you have to be married. Take as much time as you want.

 

Maybe if you are totally in love and loyal to eachother, but all good things come to an end.
I didnt read the thread, im basing this post on the title lol sorry.

 

I love that your friend is pressurizing you, rather than pressuring you.

God, I sure would hate to be pressurized.