My friend threw a cat at me

So yesterday me and 4 other people were chillin in a little pseudodriveway in my friends apartment complex. We were on our way to have smoked 4 chunky ass blunts, but by this point we had only smoked 2. We were all stoned as SHIT. Next thing I know, my friend says "What would you do if I threw a pussy at you?" and being that he always thinks of the dumbest scenarios and asks my reaction, I didn't think anything of it and just ignored him. Next thing I know, he gets out of the car, comes to my window with a stray cat, and just throws it at me. I was buggin the fuck out, I had no idea what to do. There was just a stray cat on my shoulder digging into my skin with his nails. How would I explain to the hospital if he bit me?

 

:smilielol5:

 

you would say -

"I was attacked by a pussy, it bit me"

 

i love gettin attacked by pussy

 

if a stray cat put it's nails into you, you should get it checked out anyways. last year i got scratched/bit by a feral cat while working for the humane society and my finger got swollen and it still doesn't work right...it's all stiff and doesn't bend as far as it should.

 

It didn't cut me or anything, but I could definitely feel its nails there.

 

I would have been freaking out

 

Lmao!!!

 

I would have thrown it back at his face.

I used to do that "what would you do" a ton when I was a teen. I imagine it must've been rather annoying =P

 

that's the name of my next porno.. when pussy attacks
it's brilliant

 

next time he asks what would you do tell him "I will lick your asshole. No really, I will lick your asshole if you did that"

 

Lmao I was just thinking that.

 

This is one of the funniest stories I've ever heard lol.I feel bad for the poor cat though.

What if that's what he really wanted to hear?

 

i guess he'd have to lick his asshole...i dunno...dont shake on it

 

HAHAHAHAHAHA...really a cat, good thing it wasn't a rabid squirrel

 

Make sure you didn't get scratched.
Apparently cats in general carry some kind of feline disease not harmful to them, but can be deadly to humans.

A friend of my parents got a new cat and stepped in between a fight caused by two of his cats and his legs got scratched.
The next day he fainted and had to go to the hospital and get medication, and they gave the explanation of some disease cats carry that's harmful to humans.

Pretty fucked story, though.

 

Actually, I read about a feline virus that affects human personality and is estimated active in majority of the world's population (though it's under 25% in America).

I can't for the life of me think of what they call it, but I remember it said it makes women more sympathetic, caring, and responsive towards others, and it makes males more lazy and dumb.
And I was all, what the fuck? Society isn't only feminist these days, but viruses are too!

 

...


this guy is a freind of yours?

I figures hes your friend just fucking around..


(simple assault/animal cruelty charges... )< thats what could face.

 

that is brilliant

 

hahahah
hahahahaha
omg hahaha
haha lol haha phew
haha.
ha.
h..phewww.