There's no other way to describe it! We're having money problems right now because I haven't found a new job yet (although I will soon since there are 5 places willing to hire me, plus there's always temp work) and anyways he thinks that it's somehow my fault that I lost my last job when it isn't! I was working as a nanny for some friends of ours but they don't need me anymore because the mom quit her job. My fiance thinks that I should have forced her to keep working! Also, they haven't paid me my last pay yet...but that's because they CAN'T right now. My fiance thinks that this is my fault too...that I should go to their place and demand the money. When I asked him how they are supposed to give me money they don't have he said; "Well, they'll just have to...because I said so."!! Zach and I are the love of each others' life and I'd never leave him...but sometimes his selfishness drives me INSANE! I have never met anyone who had a bigger selfish streak then he does. I have no idea how he got through life with that kind of attitude. Everytime we make friends with someone they end up liking me a lot and only tolerating him...because he always comes up with a reason to hate everyone. Oh...but if I hate a friend of his, that's not ok! AGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Oh am soo understanding you on the selfishness thing... But not all men are like that I hope you guys work it out... Much love and hope for a brighter future Love learning and Freedom Clairexxx
from the sounds of it you are in love with him but are seeing some questioning stuff. first off make sure not to rush into this and end up with someone who is hatefull. tell him the problem he might not be aware and maybe he can do better if he is told what he is doing wrong. if that does not work maybe take someone close to him and talk to him. on the money thing i am sure he knows that it wasnt your fault he is simply paranoid about expenses with you being out of work, this is common in relationships.
noone is perfect, but granted, some people are sooo annoying!!! if you feel your perceptions will change, or he will change his mood, then try and keep at it...but do be carefull, don't stay with him just because you tolerate him. if you love him, great! but don't be confused by love that has past, and love which is present. it's so conflicting and confusing, but i wish you all the best *hugs*
Thanks guys. He and I are the love of each others' life, we've been together for almost five years. We'll wheather the storm, but I kind of blame his selfish streak on his mom. She basically raised him to only think of material wants first and ignore more important things.
I think you should ask yourself why you love someone who is selfish? Do you think you can spend the rest of your life with someone like that ? Do you think it will be fun to be controlled by him and always have to do things his way?Like Tina Turner said,"What's love got to do with it?". ~peace
He and I are the love of each other's life, so yes we're going to spend the rest of our lives together. Besides, he's not controlling.
Flashback - I would be a little less hasty about encouraging divorce. vincenielsgirl - You are married aren't you. Thats the impression I got. Blessings Sebbi
After rereading the first post,I'm not sure where I got the impression that he was controlling,so I may have been off base with that.I never said to get a divorce.I was assuming that they were living together,but I did probably imply, unawares, that she should consider leaving him, which I should be more careful about suggesting in the future.I am concerned about about his always coming up with a reason to hate everybody though.Also,I'm curious about what, specifically, he does that is selfish? ~peace
Nobody is perfect. When we both had a very bad day, he said this to me at the end of the day. 'Some days are diamonds, some days are rocks. We just had a very stoney day today.' I replied with this quote that i found on the internet that day. 'your faults don't disappear in your lover's eyes. They just don't carry as much weight as you merits do.' My man has a habit of making his life come first. It hurts me. Howver, if I sit down to think about it, there are SOO many other things that makes me love him. He does do many things that all my friend would die for to have a man do this. I am sure this is just a stage that you guys have to go through to be even more sure of your relationship. There are reasons why you have stuck with him for 5 years but you still need a place to vent.
