my mom tried to kill herself last night

yep. this is the 2nd time shes done it, too. she took a whole bunch of antidepressants, anti anxiety meds, prescription pain killers, etc. but shes back from the hospital now, so she must be okay. i stayed at my aunts house last night with my little sister and i just walked home...i had to tell someone about this....idk.

the last time this happened, last christmas, i was living with my dad but i was reconciling with her and came to stay with her for part of the holidays. she seemed fine and asked to to take the dogs for a walk, but when i came back the house was surrounded by cop cars and an ambulance. i had only been back for a day. everyone blamed me for what happened and tried to make me leave the house, and tried to keep me away from her and my sister. she didn't try to tell them it wasn't my fault, but she didn't confirm it either.

i just hope this doesn't become a fucking holiday tradition. i don't know how to feel right now. on one level i feel sorry for her, but on another level i'm angry and disgusted.

 

That must be terrible, i'm glad to see you seem to be handling it ok though.

 

i just kinda feel numb....i dont know what i'm gonna do when i see her, or what i'll say to her.

 

God, I am so sorry. It is SO sad that people have to deal with their mothers pulling stunts like that. One of my friends at work's mother tried to commit suicide, which would've left her (19) and her two younger siblings (11 and 9). Whatever happens, don't ever let them get to you. You know deep down it's nowhere near your fault. Maybe you need to move out if you have a place you can stay and try to to help her get the help that she needs. You're young, she doesn't need to drag you down with her.

 

thank you, this actually does make me feel a little better. i did kind of have the feeling that i was a contributing factor, since this has only happened when i'm around (i just moved back with her a few months ago). but i'm sure its just the stress shes under...i'm sure after this she'll probably start going to therapy and i just need to figure out some way to help make her life easier.

 

Give her extra hugs.

Take care of your mother!

 

I'm sorry this happened to you, maybe it will force her to get the help she needs. You are not responsible!

 

I was in the same boat last september....... my brother lives in st louis, and I found out he tried to kill himself by cutting his wrists....... it was a total shocker to me, and I was numb to say the least. I knew I had to go visit him, yet I didnt know exactly what to say to him. but you will know......

 

i understand your desire to help, but you are not likely to be able to singlehandedly change your mother's psychological state. not only should she be seeing a therapist for help, but you should also be getting counseling. and it may not be a good idea for you to stay in the situation at all. i'd recommend you talk to your dad about seeing someone you can support you though this, someone who has experience with this type of situation.

 

my father isn't exactly...well...intelligent or a supporter of therapy/counseling. many of my own issues stem directly from my interactions with him. in fact i try to avoid talking to him as much as possible. the only reason i was living with him was because of issues between my mom and i, which are for the most part resolved. there is no way in hell i would go to live with him again, and talking to him about this might encourage him to try and take custody of my sister and i by force. as far as counseling for myself...its really not such a bad idea, not because i have emotional problems but because it is always nice to have someone to open up to without fear of being judged. i doubt we could afford it though, otherwise it would certainly be something i'd consider.

 

I'm shocked. I wish you all the luck. Keep us informed.


As far as practical measures, I think (as it was said above) both of you need professional help. Perhaps joint counseling. I don't know where you live but there must be some program or affordable clinic or whatever that administers psychiatric help for suicide victims and family.

No one is guilty for someone else commiting suicide. But if your presence stirs an emotional reaction in your mother, you might need to distance yourself initially.

I'm sorry, once again. And get help. With some research you should find something.

 

if youre still in school, they often have counsellors that you could at least talk to as a start, or who may knokw of free/low cost professional counselling

and... im sorry. thats more of a burden than you should rightfully bear (having to deal with it even happening) you didnt cause it, you didnt force her hand, it was her decision and hers alone to be selfish like that.

 

:hug:

 

thank you everyone for your kind words and advice, it really does help.

i talked to her for a minute before she went back to bed...i think things are gonna be okay. i get the feeling now that was more of a cry for help than a real suicide attempt, and i know that we'll be able to talk more about what needs to be done when shes more awake and coherent.

 

Glad to know. In a way suicide attempts are always cries for help.

Maybe you guys can re-assure each other that asking for help is ok.

 

Honey, I went through the SAME EXACT thing with my mother about a half dozen times with antidepressants and such. Always on Valentines Day or Mothers Day. PM me if you need advice. It's difficult and I can give you some coping methods if needed.

I know your feelings, too. The anger, guilt, depression..I've been there.

Best of luck...hope your mother is ok!

 

thank you! :hug:

 

There just is no valid reason for an adult - especially in the presence of children - to do something like this...

She needs to find peace OUTSIDE of meds... yet I think the answer to this will be "more meds"...you can't bandaid someone so mentally torn - they just have to find it within themselves or they will never rise above such a terrible mental state...

She doesn't need a hug, or a pat on the back... she needs to make the decision herself to move on with life. Counseling will definitely help, but she can't use that as a crutch, she must understand she is fully capable of simply changing her mentality and fulfilling her responsibility as a parent.

Holidays like valentines day, mothers day, christmas etc serve to remind people who feel inadequate how inadequate they think they are.

"I don't have any love in my life"
"My kids hate me/I hate my kids"
"I don't have enough money to buy everything everybody wants"

Whatever is troubling her enough to do something so foolish needs to be adressed - directly, by *her*.

Perhaps it is as simple as reminding her that she has people who really need and love her... but I'm not there, I don't know the situation.

You all have my best wishes.

 

goodluck with everything nobody should have to deal with stuff like this and it sucks that your mom has problems, hopefully she can get help so this doesnt happen again, all you gotta do is try to deal with it in the most positive way you can. i dont know how i would deal with an issue like this.

 

I am so sorry about your mom. My gandmother does the same thing. You are not responsible in any way. Your mom needs help. Please don't think this is your fault. You are a beautiful person and it might be best as previously stated for you to move out. I pray peace for that passes all understanding for you. Just try to love your momma and know that you are not responsible in any way. Again, I am so sorry. If you need someone to talk to you can pm me anytime. It will be okay girlfriend.