My stupid mother...

Okay, so this is just a rant/random thought...But I needed to get it out...

My mother and I are closer than close, but the relationship is fucked up, to say the least. She had me when she was 18 years old, wasn't even fully grown up herself, and so when I came along, with my bossy attitude, mom just went with it...

I've been the child when it was convenient for her. I've been the adult when it was needed for her. This fits her needs and wants. However, in the mean time, I'm struggling to figure out who the hell I am. Am I a child? Am I an adult? a mother? a provider? I've struggled with this since I was 6 years old. Six year olds shouldn't have to deal with this...at all...

So now, I've made the decision FOR ME to move to Seattle for the summer. This way, I can be seperate from my family to learn who I am, discover me. And my mother is having an absolute cow. She doesn't want to help me out at all. She thinks I'm "fucking up" my life, that I'm being selfish. She's making me feel as though I have to chose between my family and my independence. That's not fair and it's not a choice anyone should ever have to make.

No matter what, I'm not changing my mind. I'm going. But I just needed to write this out. It felt good.

Anyway, my real beef at the moment is that she ruined my buzz. I was nice and drunk until she called. (it was 1.20 am when she did...wtf?)

 

You Want Me To Kick Her Ass

 

no...I could never do that to my mom...

 

Well, Then Okay..my Mom Fucks My Buzz Up All The Time Too..fuckers..they Do That Shit On Fuckign Purpose..but Let Me Tell You This
I Just Went To Smoke A Bowl Right...and My Fucking Asthma Wouldn't Let Me..i Hit That Mother Fucker Two Times And The Shit Had Me Gaggin I Thought I Was Going To Have To Go To The Hospitall..being Sick Sucks Cause I Cant Smoke..fuckers..at Least You Got The Chance To Get Fucked Up
Word

 

Sorry to hear that...I haven't smoked in forever... I'm a goody two-shoes at uni...I won't do weed here....Not willing to fuck up my scholarship

 

shes probably just being a mom.. i.e. worried about you/not wanting to let go

do what you need to do.. she will eventually get over it. she's not going to stay "mad" at you forever, ya know? in the end, it might help both of you grow a lot more in your own ways.

 

No...she's not being a mom...the way she worded a lot of it, it seemed as if my leaving and not coming back would destroy the family. That they depend on me and that I should care more about my brothers and that I am needed in the family to keep things going...a bunch of bullshit

 

I Need To Shit..b.rb

 

that's basically just trying to lay guilt on you, it sounds like. if you leave, she will be forced to handle everything 'by herself'.. and that probably seems really scary to her. i hope things turn out well for you guys

 

I'm Back..wanna See It?

 

no thanks, Kelly...

I hope so too, Pink...

 

It Is Pink..howd Yoiu Know?

 

Thats What I'm Screaming

MUST WAIT 30 SECONDS

 

My mom killed my buzz the other day. We were smoking down and she made me go put in lightbulbs on the front porch. I asked if i could do it later and she was like no. so right after a bunch of bonghits im stoned as hell trying to stand on this stool and screw these lightbulbs in and shit, and its not working too well. by the time i was done doing that i didnt have a buzz anymore. thats fucked up aint it.

 

What's your scholarship for Holly?

 

Don't do it Holly! Michael (aka Buffalo Bill) just wants your skin to make a lady-suit ....



Anyway, step back and take a good look at your situation. There is no way that you having independence can destroy a family. Some mother's are drama queens straight from hell. And if she needs you that badly, she'll still speak to you if you go. But GO! You have been planning this....and you'll regret it if you let your mother handcuff herself to you forever...

 

I want to get away from my family, too.

How are you going if she's not going to help you out? Rob a bank?

 

Holly your Mom is probably going to say anything to try and keep you home. She's scared of you not being around to save her. I am not putting your Mom down but she has issues and she's co-dependant on you.

Maybe by you leaving, which I think you should, this will not only be fun for you but it will be good for you, Maybe this will force her to start taking care of herself or at least recognize she needs some help. (absolutely nothing wrong with that)

You have a free spirit. Don't hide your spirit. Your a beautiful person who has a lot to offer this world. Go meet people, make them smile, share your inner and outer beauty.

This is a terrific opportunity for you Holly. Now is YOUR time. Enjoy it.

Will you see your Mom before you go?

 

You are absolutely right.

If you are just wanting to escape the 'race' for the summertime, she should have an ounce of understanding, especially since you are in college and busting your ass to make good grades. So what....you want to take a vacation? Doing something good for yourself--for a change--is suddenly deemed as selfish?

You will never have to make a choice between family and independence. Look at the root of 'family' and you'll see that they actually should go hand in hand, considering your family should be backing you up no matter what, instead of coming up with these lame excuses as it appears she is doing.

Have a good summer in Sea-town, and don't worry--Missouri will still unfortunately be there when you get back....and hopefully your parents will be there, knowing you needed the break instead of holding this nasty grudge against their child, which no one should do.