it's a long story, but to those patient enough to continue, i thank you. i need some outside advice and that's why i come here. i'll start from when i first started going out with my boyfriend. I asked him to the senior prom, which was a little over two months ago, and we went...then after the prom he said we should go out and i agreed. Me and him are happy together, even now. The problem that comes between us is my parents. They don't like my boyfriend and from the very beginning they wanted me to break up with him. See, they think he's a bad kid, and they judge that only from the way he dresses and looks. Since they didn't approve of me hanging out with him, I made some lies to my parents that would allow me to see him. Lies like, "hey mom i'm gonna hang out at michelle's house" and then go to my b/f's house instead. Well, my parents did a little detective work of their own and found me at a friends house with my b/f. I stayed out past my curfew so they came looking for me. At the time they picked me up I was sitting by my b/f and we were all stoned. My dad barged into the house, yells at my b/f saying ,"i never want to see you around my daughter again!" , shit like that. So I left with my parents, they found out I smoked pot and made me take a drug test to see if I was on anything else cuz they didn't believe me when I said I wasn't on anything but pot. After this things seemed to cool down and my parents were semi-approved of my being with my b/f. They still had a curfew for me, even though I"m 18. I followed their rules by telling them where i was going and coming home on time. Until one night my b/f and i went to the movies for a late show. Well, we got a little lost and didn't make it to the movie so we went back to his house to watch one. I was supposed to go home that night, but I fell asleep at his house. The next morning my dad calls his cell phone (I left mine at home) He tells me to come home, pack up my things, and leave. And if I didn't want to move out I had to break up with my b/f. When I got home to apologize for falling asleep at his house, I find out that my dad read all the messages between my and my b/f from my cell phone. He went through my room and threw away my ashtray, cigarettes, and incence. He threw them out because apparently incence is drug related, and he read a message on my phone that said "hey i wanna get high right now" (but we were kidding around) and my dad took it all seriously. He also found out that I snuck my b/f in through my window a couple times by reading my personal messages on my cell phone. Oh yeah, my parents also got a hold of one of my journals and read it, so now they thing I'm a phycho... Ok, I"m almost done. Now for the most recent story. Once again things cooled down and I was out with my b/f. We hung out at the mall then decided to get some "free" cds at a certain store. We got out of the store with our five-finger discount and went over to his house. AS soon as we get there, my mom calls me and tells me that the security from the store called her and told her that they caught me on tape stealing cds. So I knew I was fucked and went on home, where all hell breaks loose. My dad gave me two choices...1. move out and live with my b/f 2. break up with him i can't move out...i still have to learn to drive and get my licence and I'm still currently looking for a job. and i will not break up with my b/f, I've told my parents that over and over So apparently I'm a total fuck up. I'm very depressed and confused...me and my boyfriend both have no idea what we're gonna do. He did offer for me to stay with him but it can't happen this way. My mom doesn't want to make me move out, only my dad does. My mom and I are both scared to death of my dad when he gets angry...he doesn't hit anyone, he breaks other stuff and like, punches walls or throws things...(he really should consider anger management) I fucked up by lying and getting caught stealing and doing drugs. Is that reason enough to kick me out of the hosue??? I did tell them the truth about stealing and drugs and I'm not doing either of those anymore...fuck that...But they wont' believe a word I say... So I'm stuck, I've no idea what to do or what to say...So I need help... Somebody give me some advice please.
move out. it sounds like your dad will not understand you no matter what you do. it's his loss, believe me (i've been in the same situation) but it may not be wise to move in with your b/f. do you have a job? i didn't get my license til late. what kind of public transportation does your town have? try to find a job of your own and support yourself. you can do it. prove to your parents you are capable and responsible. the longer you stay with them, the worse off you'll be, but at your age i fear moving in with a b/f would be really destructive as well. please let us know how you're doing, by the way...
oops, head up ass...i just reread your post and it says you're still looking for a job...look harder. and in the meantime i'd just try to find somewhere to stay temporarily. you ARE 18, they really can't tell you what to do even if you DO live with them, but moving out does make things easier.
get a job and move out, either that or convince your parents your boyfriend has nothing to do with the choices you make and that you would still be doing all the stuff your doing even if you werent with him
