Need honest opinions from men

Here it is :I'm very attracted to a certain man. He's very quiet, is always appropriate and never flirts. Despite this, I am certain he is attracted to me as well. We're both married. I'm aware of the moral/ethical issues with this; I'm sure most won't approve, but this isn't about that. I'm thinking about approaching him and telling him that I'm attracted to him and would like a very discreet, physical relationship with him. I don't want to leave my husband nor do I want him to leave his wife. I just want some intimate alone time with him. I am wondering how he will react. If a woman were to approach any of you, what would your honest reaction be? (This is where I need your honest feedback.

A few facts:
He is 10 years older than me, average looking, married 15 years. He married her at 21 when she was 8 months pregnant. She has recently went back to school. I flirt with him often and while he doesn't flirt back, he seems to always find a reason to be around me, passes my work area at least a dozen times a day. I'm not super hot, but I'm cute. I'm petite with a nice shape, neither thin not chubby.

 

Sorry can't help you, im not married and if i were, i hope i wouldnt want to cheat.

 

And that is why marriage is not the best option for a lot of people.

 

The reason he is around you coulod be that he likes the attention, doesnt mean he would want an affair. If someone came up to me and asked for an affair when they were married, i'd think pretty low of them, to be 100% honest. Its like "i promise to love only you til i die, im making this vow of my own choice" and then going after someone else. It's not easy to think highly of such carry on, ESPECIALLY when it is premeditated.
Then again i guess we are living in a world full of selfish, inconsiderate people.

Circle eace:

 

Don't do it. It will just end up causing a lot of pain for everybody.

 

This sounds like a really, really bad idea. If you want to stay with you husband (and you say you do) then you can't go chasing other men. And the other man can't go chasing other women. Especially not if people have kids. Wink at each other by the coffee machine if you must, but let that be the limit of it.

 

If he is proper and doesn't flirt I think he won't cheat on his wife. So I think you should probably not even try. I think its pretty selfish of you to want him to cheat on his wife and for you to want to cheat on your husband just for sex. I mean how stupid do can one person get.

 

I agree that he's only hanging out with you for attention, which is probably why he doesn't flirt back. So if someone see's it, and calls you on it he can say that you were coming on to him and not the otherway.


Personally, I think it's horrible to cheat on your partner. I hope that if you disrespect your husband enough to cheat on him that he gets revenge.

 

There are a couple of other aspects to this:

A person who receives a sexual solicitation may be very angry about it (especially if they're slightly tempted). In today's world of equality, you can't count on a man being less angry than a woman might be.

Which leads to, this is all happening in the workplace. Employers have to have policies against sexual harassment, and if they're seen as going along with anything of that kind, they can get their butts sued, bigtime. In today's world of equality (see above) you can't count on a woman getting away with stuff that a man can't get away with. You could end up as an ex-employee, ex-colleague, and your hubby, about whom you care so much, might wonder why it all happened. And what would he do if he found out?

It's a really really bad idea.

 

If you're attractive, I'd give you major points for taking initiative. But I would not have sex with you before squaring things off with my wife.

 

He probably is into you but I'm assuming he knows you're married too so I'm sure that helps him control his impulses. I doubt anything physical will happen if you don't speak up about your desires, so keep that in mind before you decide to break the vows of your marriage. From what it sounds like the guy is really timid so I'm sure he wants your bones just as much as you want his just make sure you think it through before you say anything of that subject. You could lose your family over this....

My $.02

 

^what he said.

 

Thank you all for your replies. I still haven't decided what I'm going to do if anything. I'm not shy, I'm just not that bold either. As I said earlier, I'm not concerned with the moral/ethical issues. Although, I really don't care what strangers on the internet think of me I will explain. I am no longer attracted to my husband. I have asked him to leave, he won't. When I try to leave he becomes manipulative and tells me he'll kill himself, I doubt he would do that. Just because I'm no longer attracted to him, doesn't mean I don't care about him. I have told him many times that I am not happy and I can see he isn't either. Finally, I decided I'm going to live my own life; that if he is okay with us both being unhappy then I guess I should be too. We still share the things we want from life and are finally in a place where we can afford them. As for the other guy, I can only tell him how I feel, his actions are his own.

 

he's probably not flirting because he's not at all interested. even the best, most moral people i know show SOME kind of interest when someone appeals to them. leave it alone. some things belong in your fantasies.

 

I think that you don't deserve to be alive.
That is all

 

It's a good enough point not to potentially ruin HIS life, for your own single night/hour of a bit of fun.

 

there isnothing wrong with a woman taking initiative.

but I think this is a bad idea for all the reasons mentioned, and I think you might want to reconsider your marriage as it is clearly not working out for you. that, or involve your husband if you really love him but still want to have sex with people.

swinging and orgies are awesome concepts.

 

you've got some serious growing up to do. trust me when I tell you that later on, you will wish you grew up quicker. I would hurry my ass up and open my mind if I were you.

 

rofl, k.
growing up won't change my opinion on sluts like her though.
People like this, and probably you since you're defending it are why i'm not getting married.