ok, i'm nearly 16, and i am confused. am i bi? straight? or lesbian? i know that i am the only person who can really answer this, but i would like to see what you think. when i was 13 me and my best friend started these long running lesbian jokes, like that we look like them, made jokes that we were lesbians, ect. anyway, i was 14 and i had my first boyfriend, when we first started going out i remember him asking me if i really was lesbian after all those jokes, i told him i was not. we did alot, but we never had sex, even though i wanted to. then after he broke up with me (long story), he really hurt me, i think i loved him, i found him sexy, good looking face, great body, but i saw how men can be such utter bastards, then to top it all off he went out with my best friend, (we had to sort alot of things out but me and her are best friends again), after that i thought, why should i put up with that again, so i started to see if i liked women, in a way i "developed" it, almost like i wanted to be a lesbian, like trying to make myself one, and i met this friend of a friend, she was so beautiful, and then after that i started looking at all the celebraties or actresses that i liked, and i found them very attractive. long time of searching, thinking and again, almost developing my attraction to women, then i thought, is this real? is it a phase? is it fake? am i really only wanting to be a lesbian because of what my first boyfriend did? so i looked to my past, and i do remember when i was about 11, we were on holiday and this girl around 17 came around, and she was amazing, i remember being attracted to her, and i was very worried i was a lesbian because i have always wanted to have children and i thought that if i was a lesbian i could not have them, and i remember watching music videos and getting turned on by the women in the videos. my best friend knows about all this, we still pretend in a jokey way, and just yesterday, we got a bit drunk, and she said i could touch her breasts, and i did, they were lovely , and then she had some ice in between her lips and teeth, and i took it from her with my mouth, it was not a kiss, but our lips did touch, it was pretty amazing, they were so soft, i loved it. and i think i have always thought that womens bodys were so much better then mens. i personaly think i am bi but i like women more, i still find certain men attractive, but there is just something about them that annoys me, i know this is wrong, but i just think that most of them are "bastards" they can hurt so badly and not know it, and i know that its not like only men can hurt, woman can be bastards aswell, but then i am a strong feminist so i would have that view anyway. so there you have it, my sexually confused rant. any help would be great. thanks for your time. blessings.
just a P.S. not really important, but i have quite a bit of homosexuality in my family, my grandfather is gay, my great uncle is gay, pretty sure my mum is bisexual, although happily married to my dad, we are pretty sure one of my great great aunts was a lesbian as well. xxx
don't worrry about it, honey. sexuality is such as unimportant thing when it comes down to it. it's just a case of who you fancy. if you like woman, awesome. if you like men, that's awesome too. just give it some time to figure things out. but you are always going to be a brilliant person no matter what. don't worry, be yourself, love who you are.
Dont worry you have lots of time to find yourself. I dated guys till 18 and fooled around just bits of kissing but no french tho with girls till I met my first gf at 18. thats when I truely found out what my sexuality really is and Im happy with it. Who cares if its wrong or right, just as long as it feels right to you, thats all that matter. If you need more advice and all, hit me up.
thank you both so much for the support (just in case your wondering, i changed my hipforums name , i out grew little flower) blessings xxx
