I've been scared/curious about how I've been feeling. I've been mostly feeling attracted to feminine and goth guys, for example Adam Lambert, some of the Drag Queens from Rupaul's Drag Race and guys like Lestat from Queen of the Damned. Overall I LOVE women and prefer their personalities to guys and think I want to end up with a woman for the rest of my life but haven't 100% ruled out guys. I just am way more picky when it comes to guys and don't like a lot of things about them. Most of the guys around me haven't been as sweet and wonderful to me as women. I don't want to end up with anyone who isn't super sweet and caring. The types of women I like are goth/alternative like Amy Lee Of Evanescence and Kat Von D of La Ink. Guyish/dykeish like Shane/Katherine Moenning of The L word and mostly girlish like Avril Lavigne, Anne Hathaway and Emma Watson, without being overly girly ie 100%. This makes me way less picky with girls and I can like regular ones without them having to fit into a specific mold like I feel I need guys to or I won't be happy. For me I need a guy to be super sickly sweet, caring, have not too short hair and be a huge list of other things for me to like them, whereas girls are just so much easier to be attracted to and like. So basically women make me feel wonderful and a lot safer but I'm attracted to some guys. Mostly the types I've stated above except for a tiny bit of reg guys, mostly Rupert Grint being the only one since it's very hard to find a regular guy whose attractive to me. So I'm not sure if I really do want to end up with a woman for good but they are so much easier to be with and I'm not sure I care much for a guys private parts as much as I do a woman's though I can enjoy them a little bit. Also I've had some crappy relationships with guys who are creepy, only, and most of them were really fat, quite ugly and all had shitty personalities. I haven't ever been out with a woman or a guy who fits what I can handle, though I am very much more comfortable with women and love so many things about them. So maybe I've just been put off from guys except for a bit of attraction to some but I don't know what it is fully except I'm way more scared to be with women because of having to come out to my family but feel way more safer and better with them. I'd really love some opinions about all this.
