new moms and drugs

a co-worker of mine had a baby about a month ago. A couple days before she gave birth she was looking for cocaine. I stomped my foot down and demanded noone in my 'group' sell her some or hook her up. I took Psychology 101 and I know what happens to these poor babies, who have no say in the matter, and it just sickens me.

Well fast forward to now. She's had her baby and she wants to get down with us. I do not know if she breast feds or not but I am highly uncomfortable "partying" with her. 1) she has a little baby at home (her sister watches with all of her own little babies...) 2) when she's done getting wasted with us she's gonna be returning home to her little baby and 3) if she is indeed breastfeding it's like giving the damn drug to the baby directly!

My boyfriend says it's none of our business and while I do not feel comfortable saying something directly to her, I can choose not to let her into our activities. While she may just go elsewhere at least I know I have not fed into this THING I do not like!

What would you mama's do? Am I just being a "party pooper"/and or being nosey or would you do the same? Hell some people would go to the authorities!! So I do not think me saying no should pee off any people.

What do you do when you witness something like this???

 

10 looks and no answers?

noone has an opinion on this?

 

Right i wanna start off with saying comments like that arent going to get people to reply.

I dont think you should do anything about it, I dont think you should raise the issue with her that your not comfortable with her doing drugs etc - she could go and find another group and they could be worse than your lot!!!!!!

She proberly isnt breastfeeding if she can stay away from the baby for more than a few hours (considering the babys young)
You cant say to your group to not give her drugs as well because she will proberly go somewhere else and she might not even get coke.
If you are really concerned I would go and try to speak to her midwife and ask her to have a chat she might have PND, and if she does it needs to be sorted out ASAP. I surpose you could talk to her about why she isnt spending nights in with the baby etc, but you have to be very very careful

Is the baby in danger at all e.g her being to fucked from the night before to care for the baby? If the baby is act on it and phone child protection

 

Personally, where children and drugs are concerned, I always go to the authorities. If she's not getting it from you, she'll get it somewhere else.

And it's very unlikely a user is going to nurse. I've never known a user to nurse. That was one of the first signs my cousin was using. She nursed her first baby for 2 years, and then bottlefed her second baby. Or rather, had everyone else bottlefeed her second baby.

I say, don't party with her and go to CPS.

 

If I went to any authorities I'd have some close people to me probably pretty pissed off. Whether that makes me weak or a sucker to the ones I love and call close you tell me.

I just got off the phone with *one of them* and he says so what, it's not your baby, you don't think people with children are allowed to party?

and I said hell no!! not when you first have them anyways. Don't they say your life ends when you have kids and theirs begins? isn't that what it's about? putting them FIRST? before any selfish desires? or am I missing the point? geesh. I'm actually disappointed in my friends for thinking that way. I give money to the asap every month for animals I've never met, yea I care about children I've never met, I care about forests being chopped down I've never even walked through? So what the fuck. The real question seems to me now is what the hell is wrong with my friends?!?!?

 

My advice would be to get yourself away from all the coke and crack heads before you become her. Sounds like you are well on your way already. But hell what do I know.

 

when you call cps, you can do so anonymously. But ignoring your obvious passion for this issue, or at least this babe, is not going to help matters. At least in your own head.

Personally, I wouldn't hang out with people that didn't hold the same standards of humanity that I did. If they think drug-use and parenting go well together, they're not a friend I want to have.

Leave your friends. Go to CPS.

 

No crack heads, just coke. Good people too, honest caring. Just not as mature.... as I guess.... well me.

It seems like everyone does it. I mean I could go straight and narrow and be a conservative but thats not for me. But all the heads I chill with, all the "hippies", they all seem to do it. Maybe it's just my age. I personally could do without it.

But this is off topic. When I saw crack I felt the need to clarify. I do not hang out with crack heads.

but thanks for the replies about the baby. I'm officially putting my boyfriend on no breeding notice as of right now.

 

Call the authorities and find some new friends. No, I am not kidding.

You're young. You have your whole life ahead of you. One broken condom and you could be in her situation. And why did she come to your friends for cocaine? Because they have it?

Let this be a wake up call for you. You have discovered that your friends are people who have no compassion for a newborn baby. That really says a lot about them. It sounds like they use hard drugs, too. Are those the kind of people that you want to surround yourself with? With they be there for you if you needed them? I doubt it. They're not really your friends. They're just people you party with. There's a difference.

 

yeah, call CPS

 

Yea, nobody who ended up an addict thought that at first right?

Oh, well as long as they are using a different base of the same drug then it must be ok.

I have known many people over my lifetime and people who use these drugs eventually become all about the drugs. Don't really care what personal decisions you make in your life but don't sugar coat it for yourself.

I thought being a hippy was about not conforming to everyone else views but thinking for yourself????

 

I kinda want to... I mean I do, but I don't. here's the jist of it.

I don't want to piss off my bf and she is our co-worker and kinda his friend (I barely know her, I just started working there). I'm not good at lying or keeping secrets, I would have to tell him I did it, b/c I just CAN'T lie. And as far as I know she isn't directly hurting her baby (yes that does feel like an excuse to me, and she was looking days before giving birth). While not being there and being fucked up in the eyes of the baby I view as emotional abuse I'm not sure it's worth the trouble of the backfire I may get for it. I feel selfish saying that but it's how I feel. If I knew she was going home wasted (and I assume she is) and trying to handle her baby I'd be more scared and would definitely call, but as of now I only have the information I've stated to go on.

So am I being selfish worrying about my relations when a baby may or may not being getting abused, or if she is taking precautions such as having her child watched, is it okay if she goes out and does this kind of thing. I don't think so. I really think it is wrong. But I don't want to be hated for taking action I feel like an ass..

 

p.s. my bf is already annoyed I keep talking about it

and I'm annoyed he doesn't care.

I don't want a fight. but I keep thinking about this...

 

Just go back to your drugs, they make all your morals go away eventually.

 

thats a pretty board statement your making about someone you dont know

 

I don't need to know you, I know the drugs and there effects on people. I am sure you are a good person. Trust me, you will lose yourself along the way. It is already starting. Read your own posts.

About the boyfriend, in general people don't like to hear about others with the same addictions as themselves. It tends to make them feel like addicts as well. It makes them peer into thier own future. Scary, no?

 

Your message scares me... more than thinking about that poor baby.

I'm sure you are right. I do not want to lose myself nor could I ever see doing it...

but what do I do. I wish I had the support of like minded people off the internet, and not some stupid group of strangers...

I will ponder what you've said.

 

Unfortunately, no one see it coming and by the time it happens you don't think the same anymore.

They are there but you won't find them around a table snorting lines. I have lost many acquaintances over the years to drugs and its a sad thing to watch. Only you make decisions for yourself though. Just remember that you limit these influences in your life when you are on that path, its part of it. I have read enough of your posts to know that you are a good person. Just don't surpress it for the benefit of acceptance by others. True friends are there even when the drugs are not. Good luck to you.

 

MMMMMmmmmm you need to think of the baby
NOT what people will think

 

but I don't know if she is going home fucked up. I really don't know that much about her. Everything I've said is everything I know. The rest is just assumptions. If she's not going home and isn't around her baby fucked up and her sister is watching her baby (with all her babies in tow I might add) is that enough to call child services? It's wrong, she should be with her baby but is it enough?

If I do hear she is going home fucked up and handling the baby I will call. But right now I'm not sure I have enough information...