:huh: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stm oh dear oh dear Bike sex man placed on probation A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation. Cleaners caught Mr Stewart simulating sex with a bike Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex. Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years. Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr. Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply. "They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down. "The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex." Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who called police. Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'." Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink. The bachelor had been living in the hostel since October 2006 after moving from his council house in Girvan. He now lives in Ayr.
Heh, surely just very drunk!? And he was in a hotel room...not like he was out showing everyone his equipment He wants to love his bike in private? Go for it i say! Theres far worse about ill tell you He just happened to get caught...and i do sympathise with the staff who found him, although id have just laughed
Well, what would its name even be? Velocipedophilia? seriously though, I can't see that he's done anything deserving punishment. Was there a complaint from the bicycle? I think not.
If the bike didn't say no, it doesn't count as rape. Anyways, it's ridiculous to put him on the sex offenders register amongst rapists and pedophiles and crabs for doing nothing more harmful than having a wank in the privacy of his own room behind a locked door. This story makes me worry about the state of society. Not because it contains individuals who'll have sex with bikes, but because it includes judges who'll sentence them for doing so. Cyclesexuals unite, you have nothing to lose but your chains!
I'd missed the bit about him going on the sex offender's list. That really is absurd, and rather frightening. It could stop him getting certain jobs, for instance, for no good reason. can't think of any more appropriate puns I'm afraid
I hear the man wanted a long and meaningful relationship, and was broken hearted when it turned out it was just taking him for a ride
cue drum and cymbols Whats that actually called? A badumching? It should be Now im thinking of that bloody fox
Oddly enough, folk have been debating this very question on IMDb just lately. The consensus seems that it's called a "sting"; some people call it "rimshot" which is technically incorrect, though sounds more like something that belongs on the Filthy Forum ...
Ive been having sex regularly with my mercian tourer Gladys for 22 years. She is a wonderful machine, always likes it rough and always returns for more. I have recently approached expert frame builder Dave Yates of Lincoln to consider adapting Gladys to include bondage bolts. However I must admit to considering Gladys's replacement and am considering a little German number from Focus bikes. She is a little cutie and I have to admit to naughty thoughts at her picture of perfectly formed smooth black tubes that just itch to feel my warmth. Apparently she just loves to be ridden as hard and as long as you want and is completely reliable. Bicycle sex. You know it makes eco sense. Wheel meet again...xxx Love you forever
