okay sigh please read. my day

woke up, felt like shit.

was too late to pick up my friends but they were delayed too... ran out the house in a hurry.. locked myself out. of my apartment n my car...
my neighbor was home... haha called landlord, v/m. called my mom who has a spare- v/m.

didnt know who else to call. called dan "i have a break in 2.5 hours and you can come get the key then" scott's lookin at me thinkin the same thing... "wtf he cant run it out to you cause ill drive you...(and he did and it was an hour drive roundtrip... i LOVE my neighbors..) he knew i was distressed and gave me some oxys...

so you know im telling him dan is really a good person but yeah, the more we talked and he said he HEARD the way D has treated me... let's just say im too nice to SAY things about him that when I heard someone ELSE say it who KNOWS.... I almost cried confused/BUGGED OUT/tears of release.

I realized Dan is an asshole more then I thought. But he won't ever fuck with me again. Haha. We JUST argued. I went to light ONE cig. in the house. It wasnt even LIT and he came out like he was gonna choke me and in my face and all and I yelled "scott!" (my downstairs neighbor).... so yeah I have protection. I told him I got a gun from scott too though i dont and i hate guns. I'm scared of him a bit but that's another story. I could kick his ass if I was a fighter, but I'm not.


SOOOO I get my keys and go pick up my friends and I always told ppl. - yeah they do dope like umm... a lot BUT they never stole from anyone I knew or shot up... I respect them because they keep it in check. Dude, they HAD to prove me wrong in a two day time span. Or a week... a week ago they beat this kid for 90 bucks that Jess hates and we all got three bags. I didn't even know what was happening til it was done. Then they told my neighbor which made him nervous cause he just met them. Anyways he understands it's the dope n they're good people.

SO then two nights ago, my friends were at my house... we were talking about how none of us ever shot up.... and how proud i was jess espiecially..and she was trying to stop.

today they get in my car and jess says to will "will you shoot me up again???!"

WHAT! i said haha i was MAD.
i lectured in a nice way. i dont hate but i flat out said over over im worried. i love you so be careful.

so will shot jess up in the car. then jess tried to find a vein on will and will on will.no luck. so they're like go ask yer old head neighbor.
scott stuck it in prolly ten times.

couldnt find a vein. so will was all sad (he's mad skinny btw) but he was like "trish you wanna give me a bag to snort n take this shot"


ummmmmm
the moment of truth. what i always wanted to do but what i always wanted NOT to do. i said yes.

jess got it in the first try. scott wouldnt corrupt me. i felt AMAZING.

i cant even descibe...

and i didnt bruise.

after that it was bliss.

 

read this thread.

 

you are a pathetic sick sick person trish.. So many lies .so much bullshit and so full of deceit and you have all these folks sitting here reading every word of your pathetic bullshit in the name of getting some attention..("read this thread")

oh wait we arent supposed to comment on this are we ,,,just supposed to read and weep or roll over laughing at your bullshit day in and out listening to how you are gonna change and you want to change when you have no desire to change and will never change because yer a drug addicted pathological liar that enjoys the life you are leading and the drama you create in the lives of everyone around you...

 

so what am i lying about?

 

and btw, i have my faults for sure but im glad im not like you. i have NEVER stalked you and came after you and harrassed you in this way. You need healing. Fuck, I have problems but have I ever verbally abused you?

Why do you need to put me down? Were you abused as a child?

Honestly, I think you are more sick then me. At least I can forgive and I love myself and other people. I even love you and it fills me with internal tears because of your hatred. I hope you get better soon and as soon as you'd like to tell me what you're obsession is with me and what I'm lying about.... I'm ready...

Go ahead.. I hope it heals you cause you need it.

 

quoted.


(btw IF there are any good intentions inside you at all... id respect you much more if you became mature and more articulate instead of regressing to grade school behavior with your words... I have little respect for ignorance or stupidity)

 

your life is a giant big fat lie...Your entire existence is a big fat lie... Its the truth as you see it in your own eyes but nothing more, tis the life of an addicted n sick person... The blinders worn cover up the cold hard facts in all situations and in every aspect of your life covering up the truth in so many ways..

I am sure you dont see it in that sort of light because it is the life you lead and unfortunately when it is so gobbled and clouded with drugs of all sorts there is no possible way of seeing it for what it all is...

 

ps- maybe i titled the thread that because um.... a lot of my friends post here... even real life friends... a good bit of them and um... it was an experience never to be forgotten for me. so um you have made it clear you dont like me. why did you have to open it to hate on me?

 

It's better then being a hateful person like you.

I show love every day. I learn every day. I'm NOT perfect but you are just filthy in your hate and I feel sorry for you.

 

LuckyStripe...I don't know you and I won't presume to tell you how you should live your life. So, this is just a suggestion. Okay?

If and when you decide you want to stop those behaviors and have a support system, look into Narcotics Anonymous. Now, I know. I used to laugh and shake my head too...until I met my current girlfriend. She's a dope fiend. However, she's a dope fiend who's 11 months clean because of NA and the new people in her life who are going through the same things.

Just my two cents darlin'.

There are lots of options out there. You have to find what's right for you.

Peace and take care.

 

and what about my life is a lie?

i want EXPLAINS cause i GUARANTEE im more real then you.

 

thanks for a mature and caring post. wtf is up with that girl? holy shit.

if i ever become that hateful please kill me. wow.

ummmm yeah i dig na and stuff in a way. i dont get dope sick and im not physically addicted. i know i am playing with fire though. i dont wanna get burned but i feel like i wont. ive grown up a lot lately.

thanks

 

Jeez...my previous post sounded like an advertisement for NA, lol.

I'm just saying...it's an option.

 

Yeah and I'm not close minded to it.

I like hearing the stories and stuff people tell at aa and na. Helps you realize what CAN happen even if you're not there yet.

 

oh thats where you are wrong i am not hate filled, you only see it as such because of the clouded head you have...

Stalking you roflmao... this is a forum sweetheart,, Yopu post , you get replies it is just how it works. You do not have to like what is said however if you dont want your personal BULLSHIT spread out across the lands then you wouldnt post your dramatics and attention getting threads...

Truth hurts and unsugar coated truth most definitely hurts more than the coated. Oh bloody fuckin well. You dont want truth then perhaps from now on you should state that you want more lies and bullshit and that you would liked to be talked to like a four year old child like most do with you here..I can do that too if you like but for god sakes you would think after all these years on here , you would understand that some of us just dont play the stupid games....

 

Where are you on every other post?

How I am on day five off the drugs doctor's give? How I lost 60 pounds? How I forgive others and myself? Oh, you weren't there.

You show up when there is a reason to put me down. That's why I didn't even wanna post this... I don't even know you but I knew you'd show up..

You have some validity... I have an addicts personally.. So you gonna crucify me? I don't make you read my shit. Move on. And IF you have good intentions and meanings that you can't express... maybe you should stop personally attacking me. It stinks of hate and that's why I said that.

I'm STILL waiting to hear why my life is a lie cause I don't lie.

I don't play stupid games either. Are you dense?


Fuck this. You made me mad but I don't know you nor do I care about you. Even the people I know AND care about... if someone don't like me, their loss.


I'm done wasting my time with you.

I mean, seriously. I don't like arguing with those with brain damage. I would love to examine your brain and try to FIX it. I think you could be a good person if you let go of the hate. But you know it all and are always right so yeah.... haha.... you can't be helped til you see that.

 

I call it as I see it and I have NEVER called anyone that before.

 

btw i always thought love and forgiveness and acceptance and not wanting and being content was my existance. perserverance. im glad you told me my existance is really about lies.


its all clear now.

judge not and you shall not be judged.

 

Drugs are bad kids,

But posting while on drugs is even worse.

 

why is this more an attention getting thread then many of the threads here?

Like I said.. if yer sick of my BULLSHIT. Don't click. I didn't make you.
I dont read threads from people I find annoying or attention getting.

And for the last time, I have friends here and it was an interesting day for me... good or bad is irrelevant.

I'm done talking to you now cause you are sucking up my energy. Many blessings for YOUR life.. maybe you should reflect on that.