Ooops - sorry honey, wrong hole - HEY WADDYA KNOW - IT FITS IN ANYWAY!

That's what I told my wife when I used the 1/16th inch pipe instead of the 2/16th inch one. We didn't have to call the plumber after all.

 

Are you sure you want to admit fitting in pipe that small? Good thing it fit, though, calling a plummer to get you out would have been embarassing...:&

 

I'm guessing that there is supposed to be some kinda' sexual innuendo here Friend? If so, you are correct in your measurements. Avril Lavigne, who has sucked 95% of all Canadian cocks, has written that the average Canadian penis does have a width falling between 1/16 and 2/16 (1/8) of an inch.

 

95%????
shit, im sitting in that 5%

no wonder that average is so high

 

She hasn't got to all the white guys yet Mr MiGu; be patient and you will be rewarded. BTW - the phrase "Be patient and you will be rewarded," would be an excellent fortune for a fortune cookie.

_________________

 

I'm still waiting to open up a fortune cookie and read, "Me love you long time. Sucky sucky. Five dorra."

 

i think it would be funny to make your own fortune cookies, and put shitty fortunes in them, and give them to people you know.

 

My cookies:

"You will die. Eventually. Like...within the next 100 years, or something."

"You will start a button factory, and you will get very rich. Then you will go crazy and eat the buttons."

"That last one reminds me that Scarecrow is a good flick. Watch it. Or...uhh..."

"Yes, the voice in your head is right. You are gay."

"Inspected by No. 7"

"Stay away from the AIDs."

"Why are you reading this? Eat your fucking cookie, bitch."

And so on and so forth. I'll think of more later.

 

here's mine:


your friends don't really like you.

you have a dumb haircut.

people will talk bad about you behind your back, and it will be true.

your future is going to be just as lame as your past.

i peed in the chinese food you just ate.

 

how bout:

something will slightly disapoint you sometime this week

your hair will grow longer than you sleep

you will be dissatisfied with this fortune



whenever i get fortune cookies, i always seem to get two fortunes. i must be very fortunate

 

fortune ...you will die in agony bleeding in the gutter while onlookers laugh!!

 

We always add 'in bed' to fortunes, makes 'em alot funnier.

Like, 'You will receive much recognition at work......in bed'

 

My plumbing is finally fixed...in my bed...

 

You know your Stanley Kubrick movies very well, you intelligent young man. Bravo

 

Knowing a movie makes you intelligent??? Wouldn't that rather make you an actor...?

 

Knowing movie quotes is more important than knowing Bible quotes.


"What you lookin' at? You all a bunch of fuckin' assholes. You know why? You don't have the guts to be what you wanna' be. You need people like me. You need people like me, so you can point your fuckin' fingers and say, 'That the bad guy.' So...what that make you? Good? You're not good. You just know how to hide -- how to lie. Me, I don't have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth. Even when I lie. So say goodnight to the bad guy! Come on. The last time you gonna see a bad guy like this again, let me tell you. Come on. Make way for the bad guy."

 

This thread is just one big pussy, just waiting to get fucked.

 

damn we went from pipes to movie quotes
​

 

With a brief stop in sodomy, something this forum sees a lot of.

 

"see"? Where can I "see" some of that?