My mom doesen't like how I dress or who I hang out with. I'm considering swaying to her rules until I move out in 5 months. But should I change to make my mom happy or live the way i do and put up with my mom? If I change for 5 months, it will suck big time. But it will suck to be at a tug-a-war with my mom. I'm not sure what to do, I just want peace.
I would just listen to your mom till you move out. No sense making it into something huge since you are moving out soon.. But then the whole dress thing is ridiculous, unless you dress like a hooker or something But maybe you can do a compromise thing, but i dont know exactly what your moms reasons are.. But i would just wait it out and do what she says.. And the day when you move out will be a glorious day..good luck sweetie...
My mom is a mormon. The religion is okay but some of them have fucked up reasoning. Like if you don't dress like a chick (think cheerleader or church dress) then your obviously up to no good. She dosen't like my friends because the aren't mormon, they're all guys, and they dress in hoodies and baggy jeans. Heaven forbid! She's just brainwashed in to thinking that the only people that are going to live happy lives are dressed up in career wear all the time and live in a college dorm stuffed with other religious loving chicks. Crazy if you ask me.
Whoa, yeah, i didnt know that Thats crazy, i dont know what i would do, probably just say fuck it and tell her that you dont think or believe the same way she does and taht you are your own person and that you are moving out soon and that you would just wish she would try to understand you a little bit better..
i feel bad. i don't mean to rag on my mom but she rags on me. Don't get me wrong she can be cool. She still lets me live at home even though my stepdad wants to kick me out, she gave me a car, and she listens to me about 40% of the time which is better than some parents. It's just that she makes me feel guilty and like I can't be myself. But anyways I'll probally just stick to being myself because it dosen't do any good to be a fake. I only have to hold out for five months of bitching. I guess I'll wait and see how it goes. - peace P.S.thanx for the advice mystical shroom
Your stepdad should never threaten to kick you out, that is totally wrong and he should never threaten that upon you.. I hope those five months go fast for ya... Im sorry, I remember when I moved out, you will faint it will be so exciting and just a brand new life almost and you're welcome
Wow your mom sounds harsh, maybe you should just talk it over with her or something....my parents have never objected to me dressing like a hobo, being an anarchist and listening to strange music...possibly because they do to...the music that is
Pfft dude screw it don't change for her, she'll come round and even if she doesn't shes still your mom....
She probally will never come around, but your right she's still my mom and she loves me. She'll really freak when I finally get my dreads done.
I'm just wondering if you even know why you are dressing 'weird'. Maybe your mother has enlightenment about the whole clothing thing that you don't grasp yet. I'll give you some deep ended advice, friend: Don't let your stupid clothing, a physical minor thing, get in the way with a clean relationship with the rents. I mean some of us took the appearance thing so far, I for one, built anger on it so badly from my mom ragging out on me that I got a felony for directed assault. I basically threatened to knife her and break property after she took some of my clothing away and my freedoms. The anger is the action that is wrong but it does source from clothing. Clothing can be a nasty ordeal. I mean, I'm all for the utmost comfort and self-expression thing but still, man, if it isn't important, it isn't important. Obviously your family thinks one way and you think another. I guess I'm old fashioned but I'd submit to their wishes. Thats their household, they have full rights to kick you out after you turn 18 and you go against their wishes by dressing differently. Plus its what makes growing up more worth whiled. You get to do your own thing, you get to see the real independence and actually realize if looking noncomformist is really your cup of tea. My family for example is the utmost in hippy in music, personality and image. I had dreadlocks in my hair at one point. My dad loved them, my whole extended family appreciated them very much and my grandmother told me they were cute. My freakin family thought that was cool. Then I took the dreads out and dissapointed them. So abstracts come in different forms. I just say man, obviously you aren't happy with the way things are sittuated with your rents and the image ordeal. If it doesn't make you happy, freakin change it. Your parents don't have to do anything except shut up. If they aren't going to shut up then do something about it. Don't bitch about it over a website if you can't find your own solutions or don't want to hold up your end of the deal. Clothing and parents are a nasty common problem. I wish it would pass into another culture sometimes. A culture that didn't give a jip about clothing would be awesome. The more laidback the better. Cheers.
ooh don't i know this problem all too well... both my parents don't approve of anything i do, including my music, friends, interests, and my appearance. they've both threatened to kick me out of the house MANY MANY FUCKING times...and I've done nothing wrong. they are just ignorant conservatives, and the way they keep acting is just making me hate them. i already know there will never be peace in my home...until i move out of course...because my parents aren't willing to listen to me or even acknowledge my feelings and situations. i've tried everything to try to bring them to an understanding. i tried to go by their rules and even act a little differently around them (like not blasting my 'satanic' music, or wearing some colorful clothes for a day) that didn't work, because my mom thought i was avoiding them and not talking to them about my life. she confronted me about wearing black, having these glow in the dark skulls on my wall, the music i listen to, and even asked if i was cutting myself. then i tried to just totally get in their face and ignore their little complaints about little things i did, and break all their stupid rules. eventually i ran away for a few days...then they asked me to come home... all they want is to change who i am...and nobody is going to do that to me. so dude, i say you put up with her for 5 months. you shouldn't change for anybody...even if god appeared and told me who i should be and how i should act i would just say 'fuck you'
Starfucker, I think you have the right idea. My parents were not nearly as bad until my sister moved out. My sister is a younger replica of my mom. My mom missis her so that's part of the reason she's trying to make me more like her, too fill in a fucking hole. I for one don't think kids should ever be compared to their with siblings. Ankita, I didn't start this thread for sympathy, I started it to see others views and get advice. You have a point that it is their house but do you think I chose them as my parents? I'd move out right now but I have now but I'm definitely not hitting the street. Living at home may suck but it's better than living in a dumpster. Anyways thanx for listening and the advice people - peace
I changed my parents,my kid changed me.Live a good life and eventually those close to you will come around. Knife your mom!?!?!?That goes a lot deeper than clothing.
you just can't be impatient with them. Teach your parents well their childrens hell will slowly pass by... CSN
I feel for you, and what I have to say is make some compromises until you can move out. Talk about those things with her and tell her what your willing ot give up until you leave the nest. But afterward, you have freedom to live how you choose and prove to her that your ways don't always lead to trouble. Sometimes there's nothing you can do but try and stick it out and enjoy your adulthood when it comes. you can't prove now that nothing bad will come of your lifestyle, but you will. I like the fact that you also post the good things about your mom. She sounds like she just cares a lot and doesn't understand the counterculture, but she IS a good mom. She wants the best for you and may not understand the best for her and your sister is the same for you. Religion can have a huge effect on that. I don't want to bash your or your mother's beliefs, but those are her values and you have to respect them also. Just like your lifestyle is not for her, hers is not for you. Love her and wait it out. 5 months is not that bad and you'll appreciate the freedom more when you leave.
also, Ankita this place is for everyone to come and bitch, praise, cry, cheer or do anything they want hoping to get opinions and responses from like minded peers. Get off your superior high horse and let a little peace and understanding into your heart.
Wow, didn't expect so many responses. grateful for them though. I already makes sacrifices for my mom but I figure I got 5 more months. It's just strange to be the age of an adult but still treated like a child but I guess I'll always be my mom's child in her eyes.
