please critic my poem

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by aldoromano, Nov 19, 2009.

  1. aldoromano

    aldoromano Guest

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    this is my first poem that i write, tell me what you think.

    The king of hearts

    so strong but yet so weak,
    next to the queen of hearts he stands
    together they become one
    when he takes her by the hand
    his fear is no more
    dangerous game this shall be
    The queen of hearts has a past she can't forsake
    only time will tell
    but when all the cards are left behind
    only the king of hearts will stand


    Aldo romano
     
  2. isoisidorus

    isoisidorus Member

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    good poem, Aldo, although it ends with a rather desolate image.
    gylany, not patriarchy, the path for the present and future.
     
  3. ChristianToker

    ChristianToker Member

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    I agree with isoisidorus.
     
  4. pinkfloyd666

    pinkfloyd666 Banned Underage!

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    dude...it really rocks
     

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