Poly Marriage in the US

Alright folks, I'd like to hear your thoughts on the pro's and con's of poly marriage. Should it be allowed? Should it not be allowed? Why, in either case?
Let's all show how mature we can be, and keep the discussion civilized and logical.


I'll start....

I see no logical reason why poly marriage shouldn't be allowed in the US. It may require some changes to paperwork, etc, but that's doable. Now I'm not advocating an abandon of such laws as age of consent, just about allowing consenting adults, who are not too closely related, to marry as they see fit.

 

I support it.

 

I'm not against it. The only concern that instantly comes to mind would be what happens to the kids when a divorce occurs?

 

I think that should be a normal thing,
poly relationships should be more accepted,
and poly marriage should be allowed.

 

its the hardest thing imaginable to keep together.

oh shit i could right a essay,,..

but i dont do essays..

pros?? cons??

pro,, more hands more gets done,, cons,, women rarely get along in confined spaces for eternity unless they are lesbians in love..

 

divorce in any adult relationship should not be a option..

you entered into a commitment you should stick with it..


its called commitment..

thats part of whats wrong with america,, an the world.. its not a throw away situation..

its a life long commitment..

 

mmm well...
I think you're right about that...well...kinda
i dont think 'rarely' but id say 60%.
And yes i absolutely agree that its easier when the girls
are lesbian in love.
see, i almost agree with you.
a miracle!

 

you love me an ya know iit

but sorry 2 is enough,, ..

 

Hahahahahahahaha!

 

trust me yer not alone..

 

hehehehe
ohhhhhhh love is such a wonderful thing...

 

its the hardest commitment one could ever make..

but once one makes that commitment,, be it 2 or 3 or 4..

one should realise they made that commitment..

an stick it out.

lest ye be the one who failed..

the one who jumped in to quick..

the one who used the others till you were fed up..

luv n lite..

 

Okay, fulmah expressed concern about children should there be a divorce. Paternity testing is advanced to a point now where there need never be a question about who the biological father of a child is, even should the mother be uncertain. My suggestion would be that in the instance of divorce, custody issues would be decided between the biological parents only. Possibly a bit harsh on the non-biological parents, but it's pretty much how custody is dealt with in normal marriages involving children who are the biological children of only one of the parties involved.
Hippiehillbilly brings up a several good points:
1) Sharing space -- It is difficult, no doubt about it, and it's not just women who have problems with it. But that's a challenge to be overcome in any marriage or "live in" relationship. And it can be overcome. Not a reason to disqualify anyone from marrying.
2)Difficult commitment --Yes, it is. But so is monogamous marriage. And yes, just like monogamous marriages, some will fail. If that is a valid reason for stopping people from trying, we'd have to ban marriage altogether.
3)Divorce -- This is the point where I have to disagree the most, I'm afraid. Divorce is not, in and of itself, a bad thing. It gives people a way out of a relationship that is no longer bearable that doesn't involve killing someone. Divorce is not a new idea, it's been around just as long as marriage. The problem is the way divorce is handled in the modern world. First of all, the idea of alimony is ludicrous...unless you are a cripple, you are capable of working to support yourself. Making the spouse who you're getting rid of continue to support you is cruel and unneccessary. Second, our obsession with possessions has turned the process of divorce into a bad scene from a trade show - "I'll give you the house if I get to keep the car", "No, I want the house and the car because you're getting all the paintings and the boat", etc ad lib ad nauseum. And I could go on and on. But that's gist for a whole seperate thread, and not really the issue. Like I said before, some will try and succeed, some willl try and fail, but if that's a reason to prevent poly marriage, it's a reason to prevent all marriage.

 

I could never do the polyfidelity thing...but if others want to do it...whatever.

I think the problem might occur when people get a little marriage happy...and start marrying people constantly. Should there be a limit? (Question directed at those who think polyamory is OK)

 

Forgive me for being a little slow. I'm new here. This may be an obvious question, but are we talking about polygamous marriage, like they do in rural Utah, or polyamory extended into marriage?

 

poligamy is outlawed even in utah today..

just because its recognised by a few fundementilists of the church does not make it accepted or binding..

so therefore polyigamy,, should be judged one in the same as polyamory..

if you put it into context in my minds eye anyway..

i would assume,, the person that started this thread was workin more towards the comunal emotional aspect of it all,, not just the tradin partners part.

im ramblin now ill shut up..

 

define divorce??

i dont discount that eventually as in any healthy relastionship, people sometimes grow apart..

may have to find there way again etc..

all im sayin is the concept of "DIVORCE" as by definition.

. di·vorced, di·vorc·ing, di·vorc·es
v. tr.

1. To dissolve the marriage bond between.
2. To cut off; separate or disunite: an idea that was completely divorced from

aint that what a commited relationship is about??

fuck,, ya commit with love then fer yer own self gratification ya move on??

seems selfish..

 

It's not about self gratification, it's about irreconcilable differences. Sometimes there is no way back to a relationship once it has changed. Sometimes it's just better to cal it quits, before disinterest turns into bitterness, and bitterness turns into hatred. But again, not what the thread is about. Whether or not you like it, divorce is accepted here in the good ol' USA, and most everywhere else in the world.

I'm talking about polyamorous marriage. Sorry if I was a bit vague

 

I know not every polyamorous person is going to be interested in marriage, but shouldn't the option exist? And as far as people gettting "marriage happy", what does it matter? So long as the spouses are all aware of each other and consenting to a multiple union, I don't see why multiple marriage should not include just as many people as the people involved choose. As for the issue of how to make certain all parties involved are informed and consenting, I'd suggest that someone who already has a spouse or spouses, when applying for a new marriage liscence, be required to have their spouses' signature(s) as well.

 

i personally cant even imagine being in even a poly relationship... it just seems wrong to me. i would hate watching my husband walk into the bedroom with the 'other wife.' it would break my heart. and i think id feel dirty if i had two husbands. i really dont think i support this. im ususally very open minded, but something tells me this is just bad news.