post-coital vaginal bleeding

i posted this in the sexual health forum, but i wasn't getting much help. if this doesn't belong here, i'm sorry and feel free to delete away.
please don't nag about my not using birth control. seriously.

so me and my boyfriend have been dating for about a month now and everything is just peachy... almost.
about the second or third time we had sex he slipped out of the right hole and slipped too close to the wrong one. (i've never had anal sex and never plan to.) he didn't go all the way up inside.. about half an inch? maybe? anyways i yelped and bled.. alot. for a few days. i had to wear pads to work like i was on my period... except half as much blood. about a week later we tried again and everything felt fine... but i still bled. i thought maybe we were just upsetting the wound in the back... but that's not where the blood is coming from.
the blood is coming from up inside the vaginal area. i've tried looking for any tears or cuts with a mirror, but i can't see anything. everything LOOKS fine.
i don't feel any pain during sex, but i can tell when i'm bleeding. it's ALOT of fresh, thin bright red blood. no old blood at all. no clotting and the blood smells strongly of iron. more so than blood like when you cut your finger. i'm not sure if that's just because of where it comes from but i figured it was worth mentioning. also, i bleed whether i come or not. once i thought the blood was really thick, but it was just mixed in with alot of extra fluid.
as usual there are certain non-scary non-health-related things to mention a) i've only ever had sex with two other guys in my life. one of them was just a one time thing and the other was a long term relationship. b) this boyfriend is SIGNIFICANTLY larger than both of those guys... put together. and uncut. c) when we have sex it's slightly...rough. well, more than slightly.
with the last one though, the first time we had sex was by far rougher than any sex we've had since, and i bleed even when we're doing the slow, passionate, gentle... "making love" brand of sex. also we've tried making sure he doesn't go in too deep, and still just as much blood.
about an hour afterwards i get slight abdominal cramps that usually only last about 10 minutes and are completely bareable, but the other night i got them so bad that i was laying in a hot bath for 2 hours just crying. i hadn't hed sex with him that night, but i had that morning.
i want to make sure i cover all of my bases and give you guys any info that could help you help me so
- i'm not on birth control
- i've found the bleeding happens sooner when we use condoms, but it still happens when we don't use them
- all of my hormones have been completely out of whack for the last 2 weeks and i'm not pregnant or on the verge of menstruation. the latter should come in about 2 weeks.

i do plan on making a doctor's appaointment... but i've never had a pelvic exam before and i'm terrified. however, me breaking down and crying and scrubbing my mattress/the towel we put under me is slightly more frightening.

any help is greatly, GREATLY appreciated. this isn't fun.

 

Definitely get on top of scheduling that appointment. The vast majority of the unpleasantness of a pelvic exam comes from nerves. My first one was worse than any since, just because I was so nervous that I was clenching up all of my muscles, tensing up when the doc got within 6 inches of anywhere. Then, the doc was saying it's over, and I was like "that's it?" No, it's not fun, but it's not that bad. And, you should be getting an annual exam, starting when you first become sexually active. So you're overdue for a visit anyway!

Very important: Be honest with your doc and tell him/her everything you've said here. They've heard far worse than anything you could throw at them, so don't be embarassed. If you hold back out of embarassment, you could cause them to not check something that may actually be the cause of the problem, or at least delay them figuring it out.

In the mean time, I would suggest not having actual intercourse. My first thought would be to not have sex, but have him finger you until orgasm a few times, up to as often as you would otherwise have intercourse for the next week or so... See if that causes bleeding as well, or if it's more likely related to his size. And, of course, give him a handjob (or blowjob, whatever!) at the same time, so that neither of you are complaining of not being sexually satisfied between now and your doctor's appointment.

Also, invest in lubrication, especially when things are rough. Not being sufficiently lubricated can be really painful and, I think I've heard this from a reputable source but am not positive, but I think it can cause tears inside which would cause bleeding but not be visible without a speculum.

 

Doctor's appointment now! When I was in college my friend had bleeding almost always with sex and it turned out she had cervical cancer. Another friend had the same thing and had a really virulent yeast infection that had destroyed some tissue.

Bleeding EVERY time after sex is not normal.

Penis size can cause SLIGHT tearing especially with initial penetration, but shouldn't cause deep, vaginal bleeding.

Polyps are growths that can break and cause bleeding.

Several STD's cause bleeding with intercourse.

Make the appointment tomorrow and tell them about the bleeding and that you've never had a pap. This should make them see you quickly. If not, perhaps another doctor.

All these things can be treated pretty easily. (My friend with cancer bled for 5 years before she'd go to a doctor and was told if she had gone earlier, it wouldn't have advanced to cancer.)

Your vaginal cavity can easily (ok not so easily but reliably) expand for an 8+ lb. baby and I doubt he is that big ;-)

 

eek.

guess i'm booking a doctor's appointment.

 

Good Choice



For all those females out there that are sexually active yet have never had a pap...Its time for an appointment!

If you are mature enough for sexual activity, then you are grown up enough to go to the doctors.

I am so excited about the new cervical cancer vaccine. It means that our daughters will be more safe. Too bad its too late for us. But regular paps can keep us alive since cervical cancer is usually a very very slow growing cancer.

One of the clues that it was sexually transmitted was that nuns rarely encountered it unless they had been married previously. (Just an interesting tidbit.)

 

Don't worry, paps' aren't all that scary they're just built up

you lay down in a paper robe usually, no undies
feet in stirrups, the nurse or doctor will get you to scoot down to the table edge
the speculum will be inserted then opened, just enough for them to use what's essentiallyh a long qtip to get a cell sample
close the speculum and remove it
tadah you're done!

it's fast, not scary at all
Not erotic nor painful, just sort of... awkward but short

 

i just... i'm not very good with letting people touch me down there.
i also have an unnatural fear of medical professionals and any sort of hospital or clinic or doctor's office or even a dentists chair.

i was totally hoping i would get a "it's probably just cut up in there, lay off the sex and it'll go away" but i know that would be stupid.

 

Part of the fear is the unknown. Once you've had a pap, you'll know what to expect.

I don't think any woman looks forward to them, but they end up not being a big deal.

Good luck and we'll keep you in our thoughts.

 

i have an appointment tuesday 830 am.
she said it could be anythign from a cut to an std to a growth on the cervix.

 

I find them hilariously awkward, to be honest with you. I have to hold back from gigglin from the whole situation

Just think of it liek they're doing an ear inspection, only it takes a smidge longer than that. That's about as interested as they are in the anatomy involved

 

*hugs*

I'm proud of you for making the appointment. Hang in there!

I'm glad you are being seen so soon.

 

Be HONEST with your practitioner. Remember thay deal with these issues all day every day and I am sure they have seen worse than you can imagine. A pap is usually pretty swift as your Doc Probably know how uncomfortable they are. Noone really like to be there. It's good to get a pap just to establish a baseline. It can be a uncomfortable but I have never had one be too bad. My last pap took about 30 seconds from the time she put the speculum in until I was done.

 

hahaha!
that actually makes me feel alot better.

 

I thought my first pap was going to be horrible. I was so freakin' nervous and tense, but I had a really good doctor. He could tell I was nervous and talked to me for a bit and showed me what was going to happen and showed me the tools. It wasn't so bad. It doesn't hurt....just, doesn't feel....great.
Anywho, good luck.
(I know you said to avoid it, but you should really consider BC....believe me (I know from experience) you'll get a really bad response from your boy if you get pregnant after only 1 month together....no matter how well he says he can take it. No, it doesn't guarentee you won't get pregnant (also know that from experience), but it'll sure help.)

 

Pelivs really don't hurt. They aren't much fun, but either is a throat culture. Ya know?

Tell the doc you have never had a pelvic before so s/he will be ready to be gentle (most good docs are pretty gentle anyway) and try to do some deep breathing, and you can push (like you are going to the bathroom) just a little bit if it feels uncomfortable.

I find the metal devices actually more confortable than the plastic ones, because they can use a small one, if neccesary, and the plastic only comes in a larger size. But, even if they only have plastic, they are careful.

Wear a pad after the exam, because most girls will spot a little, and if you do have a papiloma or a laceration, you may bleed a little more. But, it is actually much more gentle than sex itself is (and quicker) so it won't hurt. Then they will call you in a few days with the results. Most docs will test for cervical problems, STDs ect.

Good luck.

 

let us know how it goes babe

 

it was... unpleasant.
and painful.. and bloody.but i expected much worse.
by tuesday i should know if it's an STD/bacterial infection and a week later i'll get the pap results. maybe sooner.

I spoke to my mom after and i guess this bleeding thing runs in the family and all of my crazy aunts and my crazy mother and my almost crazy sister have had to be put on birth control. it's either caused by hormones or an ovarian disease everytime.
way to scare me, mom. :S

I'll let you guys know what it is when i find out!

 

*hugs* You Did It!

I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for ya!

 

So it isn't an STD, a bacterial infection or a yeast infection.
I call back on the 25th to find out what it is :S
I'm not so scared anymore though, so I guess that's a good thing