Pregnant with Agressive Cat. Please Read and Advise.

So, I created a new profile just for the purpose of posting this message, so please don't disregard it because of the low post count. I'm not a troll, just very distraught and I don't want anyone to know it's me. Also please read the entire post before responding.

So, I have an aggressive cat. He's over-protective of me, and he bites and scratches at anyone new who enters my house. He walks in front of people as they walk across the floor, trying to bar their path. He responds somewhat to commands and "cat-talk" (Hissing at him when he does something wrong makes him lay down... sometimes.) He gets very upset at the strangest things, and WILL attack. This includes rubbing his belly, pointing at him, and anyone touching his food bowl other than me. (Among other things.)

However, sometimes he can also be very sweet. He sleeps at the foot of my bed, and nuzzles me only after the alarm goes off. If I'm crying or upset he'll come crawl in my lap and purr. Sometimes, he'll even put his paw on my shoulder as if to console me. He greets me at the door as well, and will meow "goodbye" as I leave the house.

Here's the big problem as of late:
I'm pregnant.

May not seem like such a big deal, but really it is. First of all, I cannot change his litter box due to being extremely paranoid about doing anything to possibly harm the baby, and my doctor has warned me about the dangers of toxoplasmosis. I don't have anyone who I can rely on to change the litter box for me. My fiancée is begrudgingly doing so at the moment, but he has a strong aversion to cats (he's a dog person, what can I say?). Also, he's allergic to cats. He's on Benadryl all day every day since he's moved in with kitty and me. Also, I understand his frustration at taking care of an animal that is not his.

I’m extremely afraid for after the baby is born. My neighbor friend down the street had a baby a year ago. We attempted to introduce baby and cat and it went disastrously. Her baby went home with scratches because my cat didn’t understand that when baby kicks it’s not to play. Every time after that we attempted to see if perhaps they could get along, but invariably, if the baby was in the house, then the cat needed to be shut away in another room to avoid harm to the baby. Even a year and a half later, my cat still attacks her child if they are in the same room together for longer than 5 minutes.

Friends, family, and my future husband all say to get rid of the cat. Needless to say, I’m extremely distraught over this. I cried for about 2 hours last night over it. This is the animal that I promised to love, care for, and protect from harm. (And when I promised him, I started crying at just the thought of something happening to him.) I have spent hundreds of dollars buying him the best stuff I could possibly find, and giving him the best care I could.

Everyone says to get rid of him as soon as possible to “make it easier” on myself. I just don’t know what to do. I know of no one that will take him. (most everyone is actually afraid of him.) I know because of his aggressive behavior that he will not be adopted from the local shelters. And there are no no-kill shelters in the area.

Someone, please give me some advice. I don’t want to send away (and effectively kill) my best friend. I’m just at my wits end with all of this. I just don’t know what to do.


(P.S. Before anyone asks, yes he has been neutered.)

 

I'm not for "declawing cats", but that might be the best thing to do in your case. It is much better to declaw them then to put them into a shelter, or on the street. Many cats, play attack at the things you are talking about. Maybe your cat just doesn't know where to stop? Try anything that might help before taking him to the shelter. You seem to really care for him and that would be a shame for you and him to be seperated.

My advice is to tell your fiancee to grow up and accept the fact that he will have to help you around the house. I have allergies that are much worse than most; allergic to: melon fruits, oranges, apples, anything outside, all animals, dirt, pet dander and hair, etc. A lot of things, and I live and take care of three cats. All for whom I step up and just do what needs to be done. It can be done if you care about what you are doing or who you are doing it for, so tell him to grow up!

Hope this helps. If I can be of better help please let me know, post here or PM me.

 

I agree with the above post. You can also introduce your cat to baby smells, by taking your babys blanket and putting in your cats happy spot , so the change isnt so huge, he'll always remember that smell being around.

 

I would tend to agree with declawing as well. Your kitty MUST be an indoor cat if you choose to go with that though.

For what it's worth, we lived at my parents' house during my last trimester & until my son was 3 months old. My sister has a cat (also male, also neutered) and he was the exact same way! He'd never taken any notice of me before I was pregnant, and then all of a sudden I had a "guardian kitty" at my side, under my feet & on my lap constantly. Cats have been known to have a connection with pregnant women for hundreds of years. Anyway, Jake wouldn't let ANYONE near me... and even though he wasn't my cat, I was the only one that could feed him during that time.

But the minute my son was born, he decided that my baby was his to protect too. He would sleep in the bassinet curled around my son's feet. When we had my son on the floor, the cat would sit at the edge of the blanket, watching him attentively. When I nursed my son, he would sit just out of reach, staring at me. It made me feel odd, so I would go into a room & close the door... but then he would sit outside the door just howling at me. That cat loved my son... Still does, really - and he's an OLD GROUCHY kitty now! He did the same thing with me whenever we visited while I was pregnant with my daughter, too... and he has always seen himself as my kids' protector. If they're at my parents' house, Jake is right there with them.

I guess what I'm trying to say is... cats just are that way. They have some sort of fascination with pregnant mamas - but for some reason I've never heard of it transferring into aggression towards the baby.

Good luck, and ((((((hugs!!!))))))
love,
mom

 

Declawed cats will only become more aggressive in that they will be MORE prone to biting because they will feel more vunerable without their claws.

Obviously this doesn't happen with all of them but I'd say it's more likely with a cat that has already showed signs of aggression. Personally I'm really against declawing, anyway. I think if you can avoid it then you really need to.

It's refreshing to see someone who is expecting and isn't ready to throw the cat out like yesterday's trash. If you've seen the craigslist pets adds you know what I mean. It's crazy. I wish I had some better advice for you. I've never had to deal with an aggressive cat, however my cat does have his own profile on catster.com and there they have forums (it's free by the way) if you want to post this question there its a community of all cat lovers and I've gotten really great advice whenever I've needed some advice regarding cats.
http://www.catster.com/forums/home.php

 

Actually, I have a declawed cat that is most mellow. However there are options. Trimming his claws works. It will give you some practice on trimming baby nails too. Also, they now sell caps for cat claws. Try putting your cat on your belly and letting him get to know the baby. Just because the cat didn't get on well with the neighbor's kid doesn't mean he won't get on well with yours. Animals know the difference. You will have to watch him with the baby for awhile. It will be a new experience and he'll have to learn how to act around the baby but cats are smart.

As for your fiance, tell him to go to the dr and get a pill for animal dander. Bathe the cat and vacuum and wash the floors often. They now also make sprays that reduce allergens. My friend is allergic and she has 4 cats. And he can just clean the cat box until you have the baby. Its not that big a job and the least he can do under the circumstances. If he's gonna be a dad he's better grow up and realize there are some sacrifices you have to make. That's life.

 

Thanks for all the kind words and advice guys.

I too am not one for de-clawing cats, but I feel that it may become an option. First, though I'd like to try the claw caps. I think I saw these at the pet store last time I was there.

I'd rather not try to assume that because it's MY baby that he'll react differently, as he attacks even me at times if I stumble into doing something he doesn't like. So, to err on the side of caution it's probably better to assume he's going to be just as mean and nasty to the baby as he is to everyone else he ever comes into contact with.

Also, my fiancee is really not a jerk. I'm sorry if I made it seem that way. It's actually rather ME that is like "ohh! He's sneezing because of MY animal!" And he doesn't complain about the litter box, he just gets a face... which is understandable as he doesn't even dig cats and now he's cleaning up cat shit. But, really he's very understanding and so on top of that I feel I have to be MORE understanding.. and then we get into this vicious cycle.. I hope that makes sense.

So, thanks everyone again for the good advice. I think I will try the claw caps at first to see if perhaps that will help. (However, getting them on is likely to be a huge chore!) If anyone else has anything to add, please continue to post. I will accept any and all advice.

 

This may be something for further down the track but i have read that bringing home your newborn's dirty nappy/diaper (before baby comes home) can accustom the animal to the new bub's smell and imminent presence.

As a slight aside my aunt and uncle had a cat called Nonnaw who was possibly the nastiest cat on the face of the planet, scratching anyone and everyone. They still loved that cat though (for its moments of affection) and had her for at least 21 years. There's got to be hope!

But please, whatever you do don't declaw http://www.declawing.com/htmls/declawing.htm

 

I really do not want to declaw. Hopefully claw caps will work out okay. I understand how terrible declawing is. But, if it's between cat or baby, then baby wins. Also if it's between killing and declawing, then declawing wins.

I'm also not sure how I would bring home dirty diapers before baby comes home unless there's a problem at the hospital and my baby ends up in the Nicu. Otherwise, I would be bringing baby home the same day they were born.

I do plan on setting up the nursery well in advance so that the cat would get used to that. I can also use things like baby lotion and baby powder on myself before baby arrives so those smells aren't weird and very suddenly all intrusive.

 

Kitties are really receptive in my experience. He will know it is your baby, he knows that there is something going on already. As for the kitty litter problem, my sister used an automatic littler box while she was pregnant so that all that had to be done was removal of a bag.

Also try and train him out of the nursery. Let him know that the room is only for you and that he has to be allowed in he can't just walk in. Cats can learn boundaries you just have to be patient enough to teach them.

 

Don't de-claw the cat!Thats like chopping off their fingers or paws..whatever!Tell your husband to man up and take care of the damn litter box!

 

http://www.animalhealthchannel.com/felineaggression/index.shtml

The article has some pretty simple suggestions that may or may not work in your situation.

My parents have an aggressive cat, and the only way to deal with him is to let him know he is not the boss. He can hiss and spit all he wants, but scratching and biting is corrected instantly. Not by hitting, but saying NO or ignoring him. It usually works. The cat was feral, so he does well all things considered.

Animals do not know that the baby "belongs" and have to adjust to the new addition and may be jealous or resentful (just as any other "child" would be, or in this case furkid). Personally I would not force an introduction. Your cat may feel threatened by the new edition, so its best to let the cat approach as he feels more secure. Correct any aggressive behavior to let him know it is not acceptable. Be sure to spend some alone time with kitty, and reward him when he is good (sniffing the baby without hissing or scratching).

Good luck.

If all else fails get a dog (that likes cats) for your fiance. It will give the cat something to play with, or beat up (think Garfield and Odie).