My first post here, but I've been hangin around. I know theres some beating hearts out there. So im reachin out, for advice, direction, hell maybe a shoulder or a ear. Been with my her for 7 years now. She has been responsible for some good times in my life. She has been also responsible for depression. I believe setting aside differences. I believe in will. I believe in love. Shes in college now. Third year. During these three years, I have watched her change. I've felt it. Her second year in college, I wanted a break. Not from her love. I needed isolation,simply to grow.To find direction. The time was only three weeks total and we both agreed on it before hand. Going into the third year. She told me, she has had sex with another. And after some time, she slipped and said multiple times. One guy multiple times. So she waited a great while to tell me. Its always in the back of my mind. It cripples my affection towards her. When i want to kiss her. When i simply want to touch her. I think of this man. Im unable to let it go. I feel as theres more. She doesnt even want to communicate about it. She buries it. I love her, I want her to be happy. But i dont want to hold myself back from what i feel i deserve. Im an honest young man. An old soul. Im at my end, its getting the best of me. Im reachin out here guys, help a brother.
I can relate to an extent. It is difficult, but honestly if you are going to remain with her, let the past be the past. If this breach of trust was too much, then consider moving on. Now I feel I should say that if the break was mutual and seeing other people was ok, then what is the problem. At this point in time, the best thing to do is to re-establish trust and consider your relationship with her. How do you see yourself with her? In what capacity do you love her? Are you willing to accept her past? Honestly I'd be irate. It'd be one thing if another guy/gal/couple joined in, as it would be with trust. But if it was a complete breach of trust, I'd consider moving on. If you just can't let the issue go, end the relationship as it is really horrible to bring up the past should an argument arise. Best of luck!
First, Thank you and blessings this beautiful morning! The break was not from the relationship or each other, it was due to location or more to say distance. As in I was here and she was there and getting to each other, proved to be difficult. We both knew it was coming and we both knew it would end. She still is in contact with him. Let I answer your questions. I see myself close to her, we grew up together, ups and downs. Capacity, hard to measure, something I couldnt put a value on, I can see what your asking. If she hurt, Id go to her, if she needed someone. To laugh or cry with, as I have before. Our relationship started as friends. I will always have this. Grateful. Of course, I'd accept her past. I am forgiving. I had to chisel this out of her is the only thing that makes it so hard to let be. When, I found the right moment to talk about it. She said she had no regrets about it. Also there was no emotion involved. Like you said, that TRUST had to exist even if she denies it. Sex to me, is a connection I cherish. I like to work for it. Lift her up, Lift myself up, work up to that emotion and make love... I cant simply "F***". Doesn't feel as warm to the soul. Take care
"Shes in college now. Third year. During these three years, I have watched her change." That's what college is for, a place to learn, grow and change. What have you been doing for three years?
I dont need to justify what I have been doing. As I know I mean good. and do good. havent brought anything up here, if she were to read, it hasnt been anything we havent talked about. I agree to what your saying with college to an extent. I thought in a way you'd find yourself or ones self. Direction or path. Forward. Even if you have to take a step back to take a step forward. Not come to find someone else.... in your someone. I was implying a negative change and this feel of this change what was what caused me to question and eventually find out. In way way, I'm not here to ride her ass about what she has done but what she has learned. Become. Even if she is not with me. As long as shes happy, I can move forward, become stronger and fortify my love with what I have learned. Those 3 weeks we were apart, I was in africa with my great aunt. In the past three years I am busy working full time and volunteering. I too have been changing and growing. As I feel you dont have to be JUST in college to grow or change. Perhaps my love has grown into something more. As I know its power. And this power I will trust in... as true love is more than a man and a woman. Thank you for your response
