Reaosns for divorce ??

What do you really think the main reaosn behind divorce ?

I think, bad company of friends, mother in Law....etc.

What do you think.

Of course can not put all reasons here...So write yours if different.

PS. Multiple selections possible.

 

pig-headed double standards
lies/cheating

 

Thanks ... Lovely signature ...very artistic..

Double standards as ? Man cheats and do not allow woman to ?

 

Flagging devotion.

Lack of mutual respect.

Self- Centerednss

Self-entitlement.

Too Much home equity

Abusive credit practices

 

physical & mental abuse

 

biological nature

 

Drug / Alcohol use; a symptom, not a cause.

 

i think in some cases drug and alcohol use is definitely a cause................. there is a line you have to draw with things, no matter how much you love someone, if you see them throw their life away smoking crack or doing insane amounts of coke and they never clean up.... there is only so long you can put up with it, and i don't think all married people who start using drugs while they are married do it because they are unhappy with their marriage..............

 

One of the partners gives up on life.


Not feeling accepted or respected, chronicaly.

Waking up form the temporary insanity that moved the couple to get married in the first place :tongue:

 

Seems as though people rush themselves into marriage in the first place. Theirs all this pressure from family and friends that to be successfull and have a good image one must be married and have security. So many women seem to more concered with the being married status than with just being with someone they love. I know a lot of women who are actually embarrased and feel like failures cause their not married so they just end up marrying a guy who can give them sucurity and sure as shit, they live unhappily ever after or divorce.

You dont need a diamond, a ceremony, and paperwork to prove your love or life-long devotion to someone. Love is love.

 

I answered for my parents :tongue:
his alcohol addiction was the sole reason for their divorce
the economic shit added strain, but he would have been better at holding a job if he wasn't drunk 24/7

 

Most studies have shown that financial disagreements are the main cause of divorce. Usually, men don't leave home, unless they have someone already picked out, but that didn't cause the original reason for the LOOKING for someone else.

In days of old, when roles were more defined, men were expected to bring in the money. Now, it's up for grabs, who is responsible for the bills? Is it fair to expect a womyn, who, even in this day and age, does more than 90% of the housework, and nearly all the non-fun child care to have a full time job as well? I know plenty of womyn, who may have stayed in their marraige if they had been able to raise their children AND not have to worry about a full time job as well. I've heard them say, "Well, I'm making the money as well, I'm doing all the housework, I'm doing the majority of the childcare, when my child is home. WHY do I need to put up with this?" So, they leave, if there are other issues. In situations where couples have different roles and DEPEND on each other to work as a couple to get by, there is less need, or even ability, to go out on one's own.

I am NOT saying EVERYONE is like this. I am NOT saying that every man does no housework or childcare, just that it happens in situations where the finances are too separated, AND there are other issues.

Familes with stay at home moms have a MUCH lower divorce rate. There are many reasons why, but perhaps one of them is the RESPECT for a womyn's work IN the home, and knowing that the man is thinking, "If I don't bring in the bacon, there will be none." My dh and I have been married for almost 21 years, a record in most places. Although I have a small home business, and have done some part time work outside the home, I think the fact that our roles are delinated helps the marraige works.

As for couples with no kids, I can't tell you. But, they do, as a rule have a much higher divorce rate. Again, if the womyn can make it on her own, there is less incentive to MAKE things work out, when things get tough.

I think, in many cases, cheating is a SYMPTOM of an already unhealthy relationship. I don't think perfectly contented married people just "fall in love" with other people and leave their marraige. Part of being an ADULT is self control. Hell, yeah, we all find other people attractive, but it is up to an ADULT who loves their partner to say, "I am NOT going to act on this feeling, for the sake of my marraige." Of course, if the marraige is already doomed, I can see where people just don't give a fuck. By the time that happens, just about anything could end the relationship.

Of course, we can also get into the fact that men and womyn expect different things from a relationship, and knowing what those differences are, the best one can, goes a long way in staying in a pretty good relationship.

 

That doesn't mean that other things CAN'T cause divorce. Some people just LIKE to cheat. Not the best choice for a partner, and it does end relationships, and in some cases it is the main cause. Like Duck said, some people are addicts and, in time, refuse to recover and take care of their family, emotionally or finacially.

There is no ONE reason for divorce, but it is difficult to separate the symptoms of a damaged relationship from the causes of the symptoms.

I know girls who marry guys who have cheated on them repeatedly BEFORE they were married. They think that, I don't know how, marraige will "change" these guys. I know guys who marry girls who are impossible to please, again they think that, somehow, marriage will "change" these girls.

Marraige only intensifies personal issues. It is best to work on them BEFORE you get married and start bringing children into the world, OR be ready to work really really hard.

 

I think many couples marry...then find out they make better friends than marriage partners...and , actually , it can be a good thing , especially if there are children , for they see two people remaine wonderful friends than end up hatefull and fighting !!!

 

I've known two couples who got divorced because the husband was gay and finally came out. One of my best friends married her high school sweetheart and then a few years and one child later, he admitted he was gay.

They remain friends, not only because of the children involved, but because this isn't an issue that can be worked out.

 

I I have tried to move this to relationships....and it will not allow. So for now, I will let this run.

It should be in relationships, not men's issues,

 

I think it's insane to try to come up with one single reason for divorce. It totally depends on the couple.

In some cases, the bulk of the stress and fighting revolve around money issues, and that fighting leads to divorce.

In other cases, that has nothing to do with it... In my parents' divorce, my mother had some personal mental issues, which were compounded by seeing her mother dying a long, slow, painful death from lung cancer -- so she wound up running around, cheating on my dad.

In my grandparents' divorce, it was because grampa was a violent alcoholic (an addiction that went back long before he met gramma)... So the alcohol and violence were the reason for the divorce.

My brother got married too young and they were talking divorce for a while... But he's as stubborn as my dad and his wife is actually willing to put in some effort to fix their problems, so hopefully they will make it.

And in many cases, people have the fairy tale expectation of a "happily ever after", so the first time something goes wrong they go "oh, gee, this must NOT be my perfect Prince Charming" and start to emotionally withdraw from the relationship... Or have some other reason for giving up way too easily.

And, of course, this is just whats on the top of my head...

 

That would be one of the many reasons I think it is ridiculous for people to NOT live together before marriage.

I would never actually marry someone without having lived with him for at least a year before getting married. Back in the old days (as in old old days, centuries ago), Christians were not actually considered officially married until their first child was born... While this probably primarily served to save the man from being stuck with a barren wife, but it also allowed for a sort of trial period... The whole silly idea of being a virgin until marriage didn't become important until population density had risen to the point that land became a scarce commodity, at which point parents needed a way to protect their assets from poor men who might knock up their daughter just to establish a claim on some of their land...

 

And why you should you move it if we are all happy here

 

I agree comletely ...i llllllike Trial periods...Yeaaah.