Post all you've got! Two atoms were walking down the street, and one says "I think I've lost an electron." The other says "are you sure?" The first says "I'm positive."
To set the context, think salmon trying to migrate upstream to breed. "What did the fish say when he ran into the concrete wall?" Answer: Dam!
Q. Why dont Hamiltonians libe in the suburbs? A. They dont commute p.s. You probably need to be fairly good at maths.
i have these two on Beta beta beta (biological honors society) shirts hahaha What did the Ser say to the Rer? Is that a ribosome, or are you just happy to see me?? ------------------------------------------------ How to sex a chromosome? Pull down its genes ( i'm still not sure i get that one, could someone explain it?)
Heard about the constipated mathematician trying to solve an equation? he stuck a pencil up his arse and worked it out
"Mathematicians do it in groups" An engineer, a chemist and a mathematician checked into a hotel. In the middle of the night, the engineer awoke to find that her room had caught fire. She grabbed the fire extinquisher, squirted stuff around the room and put out the fire. She then squirted more extinguisher around the room and went back to sleep, confident that she had provided a good safety factor. A little bit later, the chemist awoke to find his room on fire. Grabbing the extinguisher, he put out the blaze, felt around for hot spots and went back to sleep, confident that he had applied enough of the limiting reagent. A bit later, the mathematician woke to find that his room was on fire. he grabbed his notebook, wrote furiously, paused, ran some water over his hand and returned to his notebook. After more calculation, he went back to sleep, confident that a solution exists. "Astronomers do it in the dark"
A man walks into the Neutron Bar and orders a drink. When he tries to pay, the bartender says "No Charge."
A mechanical engineer and an electrical engineer are arguing about god. The mechanical engineer says god must be a mechanical engineer, "just look at the human skeleton and how the body's put together" he says. The electrical engineer disagrees , he says "look at the nervous system and the brain, they are so complicated and well designed that they must have been made by an electrical engineer". They argue about this for hours and hours getting nowhere. Eventually in the end they both agree that god must be a civil engineer. Why? Because no one else would run a toxic waste system through a recreational area!
I'll warn you now that this is not funny and is to the best of my memory. A biologist was performing a study in which to see how far a frog could jump. He placed the specimen on a line and said, "Jump, frog. Jump!" It jumped to two feet, so he recorded in his Lab Book,'Frog with 4 legs jumps 2 feet.' He proceeds by chopping off one of the frog's legs and repeats the experiment. The frog jumps 1 1/2 feet, so he records in his Lab Book, 'Frog with 3 legs jumps 1.5 feet.' He chops another leg off the frog and says, "Jump, frog. Jump!" The frog jumps half a foot less than the last time. He records in his Lab Book, 'Frog with 2 legs jumps 1 foot.' The man then cuts another leg off the frog and says, "Jump, frog. Jump!" The frog manages to jump half a foot, so the biologist records, 'Frog with 1 leg jumps .5 feet.' The man then chops off the last leg and says, "Jump, frog. Jump!" It does not move. The man yells thrice for the frog to jump, but it does not. The biologist then records in his Lab Book, 'Frog with no legs goes deaf.' I told you it wasn't funny. Here's a shorter one. Why'd the chicken cross the Mobius Strip? To get to the same side.
I still remember a funny story about Anatomy. Professor: Where is the Bartholin's gland located? Student: The tongue Professor: Hmmm, it is located there, sometimes. I'm sure that every medical students could understand it easily because you know there are 2 Bartholins: Bartholin's gland (the Greater Vestibular Gland located in femal sexual organ) and Bartholin's tube (located in the togue). I just laughted aloud when I saw the professor's comment: It's located there, sometimes.
