So yesterday, which happened to be my 9 year anniversary with my husband, I found out that he has been talking on a free chat line for the past 3+ months. I hadn't been getting our usual itemized phone bill sent to the house so I had the phone company send me it via email....noticed an unusual phone number that was called multiple multiple times for hours on end..look up the phone number online and it so happens to be a chatline Husband says it's innocent, nothing sexual I'm wondering why if it's innocent than why did he hide it from me ? Why are there calls in the middle of the night and on every occasion I have left the house either for groceries or out of town meeting etc? Why!!! So we have a beautiful home and 2 beautiful children.... This is all now jeopardised because I have lost all the respect and trust we once had....I will never know what those converations were....I will never understand the reason for hiding this from me It isn't a dating chat or phone sex line BUT it still doesn't even matter....it is a betrayal of trust nonetheless Sorry for this huge ramble but has anyone experienced this before? Why would a "happily" married man feel the need to talk on the phone to strange women for hours and hours? If it's so innocent why would it be hidden so extremely by even having our phone bill altered? I'm open for any opinions, before I go to any extreme measures ~thank you so much~
I'm sorry to hear that. I believe in full honesty with my girlfriend. I would venture to guess that there is something that he needs to talk to you about but is to scared to do so. It's not to say he's cheating on you but it may be something that's bugging him.
I have to agree with above. Chearter are losers. They say Once a cheater always one. So who to trust. We were buildng a house togather,also may I add 11 yrs. togather. Mine stopped talking to me and our sex just stopped. But it was all because a woman at work he was seeing. So I even ask mine was there someone else but he said the ususal just you beautiful, I love you. So I believe him. So I called the number one night while I was out and he has just dropped her off from their first date so she said. I went crazy. I don't know what to do either. But as far as trust he has to earn it back. He needs to work at it and if not then why put your heart though the pain and ache. Because without trust there is NO relationship.
Thanks guys........ I have never felt this much despair Not to mention My car is out of commission and I live in the boonies, my phone just got shut off, I have nothing to feed my children & he promised to bring food over 2 days ago with no contact since, The only outlet I have is the internet!! THEN I found out he went into my email account where the bills were and deleted them!! And THEN called the phone company to unauthorize me???? Don't pry into my business he says ??? Not a good way of earning my trust back!! I keep trying to give him the benefit of the doubt....maybe he WAS just talking???? I have so much at stake ............
sounds like you'd better get your act together in a hurry. find some way to support yourself and your children. forget the loser who'd rather have phone sex than feed his kids. you deserve better and so do your kids.
This right here would be my last straw if I was you... That just shows how uncornerned he is right now for you and his kids... But yet he has the time to do this... Honey, there is only so much benefit of the doubt you can give someone before it just starts to become old and tiresome.. I realize it was just talking but for him to first leave you with the kids with no car, no food and not call you or anything--that right there is extremely ridculous and something you just don't do when you are married and have children, there comes a time where you just own up to your mistakes if you did something wrong and come forward and be honest and truthful, not run away and act like a punk kid. That is what would bother me, that instead of just coming to me and telling me what he did and so forth and then just moving past it, he goes and leaves and does all that trouble to delete phone records and all that, that just shows cowardice... I understand you giving him the benefit of the doubt when you found him talking on these chatlines and so forth, that is completely understandable but then he leaves you like that with the kids, no food, nothing and not call you or anything and then deletes all that and so forth, that is what would upset me so much and that is just a sorry excuse for man/human. If he would have owned up to what he did and come to you, than I would have worked it out, but for him to run away like that, that's where I would draw the line...
Hmm, this seems very serious. The fact that he's left you and both your children for two days without food, screams ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP to me. I've seen them before, and my Mom suffered one when she was married to my adoptive father (I was adopted by both of them at two months old) He wouldn't let her have friends and she was only allowed to work part time. He used to beat her up to, but really out of all that the only connection between her sitch and yours is the control bit and (eventually) the cheating. I can't say for your situation whether he's cheating or not, but by the sounds of the status of your current situation, I can say that it will turn sour soon. What you should start looking into, are Odessey shelters or houses that are in the nearest town or city. They also go by simply Women's shelters. I've had to stay in a few with my Mom while we were in the process of moving away. They sometimes will have someone come pick you and your children up, if like in your situation, have no mode of transport. That's all I can really offer, I hope it helps! Good luck with your troubles My Mom told me later that the reason they divorced, while the physical abuse was a factor, the main reason was that he was cheating on her, since his job with CN railroads inevitably took him out of town.
The internet ruins relationships so much nowadays So much that I had to post that. Good luck to you though!
Its not just the internet. Everything. Specially the other person, when they know that the person they are talking to, has someone else. But I think they look forward to breaking you up. Destorying your life you had togather. Can't stand HOMEWRECKERS. They are out there though. I know. So hang in there. I hope everything works out for you and your kids.
How you hanging girl? Sigh. That really sucks. I just left my still new boyfriend because I felt I couldn't trust him either. I do not have the same ties as you do to your hubby but I agree that you need to focus on you. He's obviously moving on and leaving you to struggle. Karma will pay him back hard right now you got two kids to support. Focus on them and get yourself together. I'd also start proceedings for divorce too, make sure the kids get something from him since he doesn't want to play "daddy/husband" any more but want to talk on phones and screw around. Tsk. Karma pays back hard-hope he knows that.
Why would a "happily" married man feel the need to talk on the phone to strange women for hours and hours? If it's so innocent why would it be hidden so extremely by even having our phone bill altered? I'm open for any opinions, before I go to any extreme measures ~thank you so much~ We there is the 1st thing...its obvious he is not happily married, WHY? those are some questions you need to ask yourself also.....9x out of 10 guys cheat that are not sexually satisfied by there significant other.....I know because I have just recently been in this situation and have successfully worked it all out with lots of communication and counseling....Just to give you a tidbit I almost had an affair with my wife's sister..I have learned soo much about how relationships work and where I fit in it with my wife and how to keep our relationship strong.....everyone looks at OMG he cheated what a scumbag, well as the saying goes it takes 2 to tango, I am not saying that he doesn't have to own up to his part but you do have to take a little of the blame yourself.... but if your husband is cheating or on the verge of cheating? why/where did things go wrong....I believe it is the responsibility of the married couple to communicate and explore each others fantasies, desires sexually and life goals and support it "100%" marriages fail because that never happens...often probably because of a little ignorance and/or lack of knowledge....but if you do love your husband you can work it out (as I have) without sacrificing each others pride, self-esteem, ect.......and especially for the sake of your children, however I do not condone marriages of unhappiness just for children, b/c that ABSOLUTELY will reflect on children as well but anyways hope that helps you at all and makes sense
one more thing is you will ALWAYS get back what you put into something, and that goes for careers, marriages, ect....... there are so many fine lines and cliques that come with marriage that it really is common sense once you are educated.....
dude, that is not always true. besides, what does not taking care of his kids have to do with his lack of sexual satisfaction in his marriage?
first i would suggest talkin it out with him. possible he tried it, became a habit, became addicted, made his life miserable. diplomacy should always be the first option. not knowin either of you personally, im just assuming that you both have some good qualities that you admire about eachother, and the marriage is worth keepin. or at least tryin to. just try talkin it out without either of you yellin or gettin pissed off. dont focus on who is right/wrong, who did what in the past, just try to figure out what yall want for the future, and how yall can get there.
yeah I'm sorry I didn't see the not taken care of kids part....thats unacceptable, regardless of any problems between the two of you, I hate when kids are innocent victims in marriages, if he doesn't want to help in raising his own kids, and making sure they have a roof over their head, that is worse than any problem the two of you could have, I'd take him to the cleaners....Continue getting support from family and friends, they can help tremendously....Do what your heart is telling you to do
