I have a 4 year old son. I do not have custody of him at this time. I would love more than anything for that to be possible, but I don't want to assume anything. I know that he could very well end up with his mother. We are in strong disagreement with how he should be raised as far as religion is concerned. She wants him to be raised as a Christian. I propose that we teach him nothing at all about religion, and when he is old enough he can choose to follow one at his own disgression. I'm not going to go to deep in describing her character, but I believe that she has no business raising a child in the first place. I wouldn't even classify her as a Christian myself because her faith is very weak, and her morals are almost nonexistent. I think if you are going to raise a child a certain way, you should at least live that way yourself. I'm not exactly sure what is the right thing to do in this situation and I would greatly appreciate any advice. Please keep in mind though that she is one of the hardest people to reason with in the world. She is emotion ruled and reason/logic very rarely come into play in her decision making.
I believe very strongly against raising a child by a religion. It creates a perceptual set that can be hard if not impossible to escape. But I also feel strongly against lack of knowledge; I would expose your child to all philosophies and relgions and let him decide. From Buddhism to Christianity to Existentialism to Taoism, Everything. And only upon request. Force nothing.
I agree that he should be explosed. I just don't want him to be taught that one is the truth and the other are false. To not expose him would be censorship, which could also have a harmful effect. However I know for a fact that he will be taught that Christianity is the truth by his Mother and her side of the family. I don't have much control over this being forced upon him by them.
i agree with ya both, i dont think child should be raised by religion.. except maybe if the religion is widespread to the point of it completely dominating the country.. because in those cases it normally interacts with laws and etc.. if that made any sense.. but yeah, i agree with teach him nothing about religion.. well good luck however it turns out
I have to disagree with you on that statement. Accepting something to be the truth just because it is widespread and believed by the masses is an illogical thing to do.
It is pretty logical, it could ensure the child is accepted by society, something I think is pretty important, but I don't think he meant that, I think he just meant if religion is that intefering with day to day life you'd need to raise them knowing that religion.. Maybe you should teach your child the VALUES taught in the bible, the 10 commandments, morals and all that, but leave the whole g-d and jesus thing ambiguous. Let them form their own impressions of that, but either way your child will be raised with some pretty good values..he doesn't have to buy into it, he'll just be a good person (if you believe thou shalt not kill, honour thy father and mother etc are good values). I personally would raise my child with religion, but not to be religious. I understand the world sooo much better now that I know the basics of christianity and judaism, and the more I learn about Islam the more I understand about a large chunk of our population; I feel that my child would understand the world in more depth, and be grateful later on, if I did teach them a bit. I wouldn't tell them what to believe, I'd tell them different beliefs.
I do think the bible has some important lessons to teach. I think one should focus more on the things that christ taught over anything else. I believe that I am a good person of sound morals who could raise him with no religion whatsoever, but I also agree with you all in the fact that he should be exposed to these various religions in order to have a greater understanding of the world and it's various cultures and beliefs. The key to erasing ignorance is knowledge. Censorship wouldn't help. The point is there is going to be one parent saying "This is the truth and there is no other way" and another telling him to keep an open mind. I think that it will confuse him.
Shock Occam has not read the replies.. and NOW reads your initial post. [just a bit slow,,got stuck behind the door when th ........] Occam has a daughter . Now 23 She was once 4 and stuck in a place you desribe. The society we have built is a creation of humanity. And we are just learning how to walk..let alone reason. Occam looked within himself and did all possible to give that which he values most..to the only child he allowed himself to have. imagination...And all that allows one to have it The only real miracle. Occam
I wouldn't teach him nothing about religion, I would teach him something about all religions. When he is old enough he can take his interests/beliefs/faith and fly with it in which ever direction he chooses. We are so culturally isolated over here in the US that we have a complete lack of understanding of why other people are the way they are and live the way they live. And we definitely don't appreciate our differences. We need to start raising more tolerant children.
i have more faith in the child's ability to change over time. If it would cause a big problem to fight the mother on the issue of religion, i would not fight it. I had the same situation, and never said that my son's mother was wrong, or that there is anything wrong with Christianity. i did say that I am not Christian, but made sure it was clear how valuable I feel Jesus' message is. When he gets older, his views will change. In grade 4 I was a Christian all the way, but by the end of grade five I was not. To me, the critical issue is to not disparage each others beliefs or argue about them in front of him. Peace and respect are far more important to his peace of mind than either of you being right.
so the two main important things are this: if your son ends up with his mother and is taught about christianity, maybe make it your responsibility to educate him about other religions when he is with you. that way at least he can understand that although his mother believes this, other people that, and its ok for both of them to live in respect of each other
I agree about exposing him to everything. I don't think that anything should be forced upon him as being the truth. I don't see the harm in teaching him about various religions and aspects of philosophy even if he doesn't request it. Imagine if the only knowledge that we had was that which we requested. We would most likely know only a fraction of what we know now. As far as the issue with my wife is concerned. I guess we will have to respectfully disagree with each other on this issue. Thank you all for the suggestions. I really appreciate it.
Just to say, I see you being on the right track, and envision a bright, loving, respectful grown child as the result. Modesty, acceptance, and variety of knowledge are the key elements I admire in your post. You will do well.
