When I was a teenager I had a very high self esteem, but now it has gradually disappeared! Recently I've been feeling worthless... And I want to work on my self esteem, but I don't know how! What do I have to be proud of??? Where do you get your self esteem from?? What makes you proud of yourself?
Similar. I had a lot of ambition and confidence in my crafts. Now I'm 23-year old stock boy with an Associate's Degree that lives at home and is convinced no matter how hard I try I'll never make a living doing anything I want; and that the world's gonna fall apart soon anyway. It's so hard to muster up any willpower to do anything, even though all I want to do is enjoy life, and I know the pressures I put(/let) on myself are my biggest obstacle.
This is exactly how I feel. I'll be 22 soon and I'm finishing Uni this summer. And I feel like I have nothing to be proud of, and I have no idea what I'm going to do in life, and I feel like I don't have any ambition... When I was younger I could see many qualities, and now I just don't see them anymore... I don't know how to deal with this, I feel lost
This subforum is called Mental Health. That is where the solution lies: in the mind. Stop thinking about qualities you feel you need to have, stop trying to please society. You should not be proud of something you do, you should be proud of who you are. And I am sure that is something you can be proud of if you put your mind to it.
i'm the same way. it always feels like there is someone looking over my shoulder and judging me, despite the fact that everyone around me has always been nothing but supportive of me.
what did you like about when you were younger that you feel isn't there anymore? did you have any hobbies that you used to enjoy but don't participate in anymore?
OK I understand what you are saying, but I'm not trying to please society, I just want to be happy with myself. How can you do that if you don't see the qualities anymore?
I have a supportive person. I've always been jealous of the kids with happy lives and full-support systems. Especially being in a college town and seeing all those tall healthy, jobless Freshmen. When I let myself get envious it can put me in a real melancholy state; but this can also be helpful to think about when I'm feeling pressure. It seems like sometimes I can remind myself that I have had it pretty hard, and it can make me breathe a little easier. The spotlight effect as it's called, is an everyday thing really, people are pretty egotistical; it just sucks when we use it to help beat ourselves up.
It's not that, when I was a teenager I was a lot more shallow and I had a high self esteem because I was considered "hot". It's still here, but it doesn't make me think highly of myself anymore.
you should try volunteering your time somewhere, helping those less fortunate than you. it might help improve your outlook a little bit. i've been looking for somewhere to volunteer, but the local food banks apparently don't need volunteers right now. which i guess is a good thing, overall.
Because you are not just the sum of your qualities. You are an intelligent being with emotions, feelings, talents etc. A quality is an arbitrary parameter. Some of those parameters can be improved and some are innate and unchangable. Bring them together, but do not worry about them too much. Then you can be truly free and happy, and thus have a good esteem about yourself.
Sure, it can be quite hard, but it is worth it. No use in going through life worrying constantly. Good luck! :2thumbsup:
I'm going to go against the grain of this thread and say that you gain self-esteem by setting realistic goals and achieving them. Not very hippie of me, I know.
Namely, being a parent, secondly my line of work (research), thirdly my tennis, and lastly my friends that make me feel valued.
I don't have self esteem....at all. Not much to be proud of. Never given a chance in anything. It used to be you make yourself now it's mostly you are what people make you.
No I tried very hard for years and people just judging me without knowing me, etc, etc essentially paralyzed me.
