My girlfriend is 4 months pregnant with my child. Recently she decided she could not put up with me any more, mostly because her friends and family don't like me. She doesn't want me to have anything to do with my kid. I feel like I am going crazy, I don't know what to do. Is she just acting this way because she's pregnant or what? I really don't want to have to take it to court, i'm hoping she'll just stop and go back to normal. But if it all comes down to it and I have to what should I do? Is it going to hurt me because I have a record? Or would the court look past that? I have a class 4 and thats the only serious thing. I have a job she doesn't. Am I just going to get fucked and end up having to pay child support if it comes down to it? How do they determine custody? More times than others will they give split or joint custody? Any suggestions tips, info please??
If you can afford a lawyer get one, if you can not then get legal assistance. You need a paternity test done if you want to be active in this child's life. That will be done after the birth of the child. You will have to pay support for this child but she can demand that anyways through the courts. Your record is something a lawyer is best to deal with. It does not necessarily mean that you are not fit or that it will be held against you. Usually custody is to the mother and you would apply for visitation and that also is something a lawyer will do. It can be done between both parties if they agree but it sounds from your post as if you may not be in the position at this time to get an agreement from her. EVEN if you do get some agreement see a lawyer and have it legally binding so that she can not just change her mind at a later date. If you are using I would suggest that you also consult your lawyer regarding that as a test could be asked for if the other party insists that you are not fit to have unsupervised visits. Good luck to you
Speak to the lawyers. Clean any mess in your life and prove you are a fitting dad in, in light of any convictions. There is not a lot else you can do, just help a lawyer have a valid and honest case and I am sure you will get to see your child. However, if you guys can speak through your troubles that would be the best thing. No one wants a child brought up in a broken home, remind her that your baby should come first. If there is any way you guys could have feelings for one and other again, I am sure she wouldn't be selfish enough to consider it any other way. I don't know what you have done though, so I reserve complete judgement! Good luck, though. And congratulation!
Her family is advising her that a man with a record is not the best choice for father of her baby, etc. You know you're a good guy. They know that you are the (ex)criminal that knocked up their daughter. Given your history, neither they nor your girl are being unreasonable. Whether they change their opinion will depend on what you do in the future. If I were asked, I would advise her to get court ordered child support. I don't care about your history, but you aren't making any move to marry her (that you mention). And no matter what you say now, we've all seen or heard dad's abandoning the kid after a while, for a variety of reasons. It is in the best interest of the kid, that you be required to support your kid. It depends on what you did and how long ago and what you've done since you got out. You have a job, good! If you consider supporting your child "getting fucked" then, yes you are going to get fucked. You are going to be forced to support the child you created. Its your kid, its your responsibility. It's time to Man Up! The best interest of the child. You are not likely to get custody, especially when it is very young. You having a stable lifestyle, regular employment, with the same employer, is the kind of thing they want to see. Ask for visitation and use it. If you don't use your visitation, they won't (down the line) consider transferring custody to you. Get a lawyer! and Get your head on straight. If you really think that paying child support is "getting fucked". you might consider asking her to put the kid up for adoption. A loving couple that wants a child is better for the kid than the mess between you and her and the court and her family bad mouthing you and..... You have 18 years of caring for this kid. Good luck! Addendum: One more thing, forget about the word "fair". The questions are not going to be about fairness to either you or the girl, the issues are going to be about what is good for the kid.
A little update I woke up this morning to about 15 texts messages, one including her demanding money now. I told her that she would have to get a dna test done before I gave her anything. If you were wondering what the felony was (first time offender probation as well) it was for possession of cocaine, i've been on probation for two years and passed every drug test. The baby's due the beginning of november, I get released from probation decemember 17th. To correct myself I made a mistake by saying "Im getting fucked if i just have to pay child support". I will gladly pay child support. I love my child before it is born i'll love it after. I just don't understand how the court can demand that the full custody is given to one parent and the other can not have contact. Almost like your paying to not see anything. Also I have recieved a number of "threatening" messages from her. I have saved them all and gotten messaging records from att. I am very good at keeping records (Thanks to my accounting class) On another note, I have no clue if it would help my situation but I believe it would.. She no longer baby sits a child she used to because she spanked him, he was 2. The parents were really upset about it.
This does not look good. The two of you are going to be joined for 18 years. (I repeat the adoption suggestion.) How old is the young woman? i.e. are her parents in legal control or is she? The whole thing will go better if you two can agree on stuff and just use the courts as insurance that the other party will follow through on the agreement. If the courts draw up the "agreement" it will be worse for all parties. Find a way to work with her. About the pre-natal expenses, you might consider not sweating it too much. Helping a pregnant woman is an honorable act, even if the child is not yours. Fussing and fighting about DNA is a poor way to start an 18year relationship. Consider applying error analysis. You can either help pay (without a test) or not pay (until the test). Which is a bigger mistake. A non-inseminator helping pay for a woman's pregnancy or A father not paying for his baby-momma's pregnancy until forced to (Adoption is probably best for the kid. But not completely under your control.) You will have to learn how to get along and work with this woman.
From someone who has lived your situation to a "T" : Don't sign a damn thing until the paternity test results come back. Demand that shit as soon as the kid is born. Tell them you want a saliva swab from the kid before they're even done sewing mommy's vag back together. Keep all her threatening texts and voicemails. get an apartment, and furnish it with baby stuff. and most importantly, Do NOT let her know what youre intentions are.
