so the other night i got pretty drunk with a friend of mine. and for some reason he just offered up that he had secrets from boarding school that he would never tell (he just graduated). and i didn't really think about it because we were just talking about crazy stuff that had happened to me freshmen year of college. then he just said something like, "like all the gay stuff we did together, like gay chicken when no one backed down." and about how he would never say what he did. again i just ignored this and changed the subject quickly because we were with a girl now i don't know what gay chicken is but he seemed to be offering some valuable info. and i really want to say something privately, or get drunk alone with him again and ask about "gay chicken" and see where it goes (idk if i have the guts sober). he also doesn't know that i'm bi, well i think i am at least, because i've never done anything with a guy, but i have really thought about it and wouldn't mind giving it a go. and for all intensive purposes he is straight, except for that comment and i've always had these vibes from him, like the way he'll hug me, or even "jokingly" rub my back and chest for a sec (hard to explain exactly) but i've always just ignored it and thought of it as him being normal even though i always think twice about it anyway should i say something and how should i do it, its been killing me these last few days and would love advice
I guess first of all, you need to have a long think about why you want to know this stuff. We all have secrets that we dont tell anyone else, and if this is one of them sort of secrets for him, and you're only asking because you're being nosey (sorry, no offense, couldnt think of a better term for it) then that isnt cool and you should probably just leave the whole thing alone. On the other hand, if you are bi and you have feelings for him or something like that and that's why you want to know, then you should think about how it might complicate your friendship if you ask the question. If you think it's worth the chance, then ask. But, anyway, if you are bi and you really want to know, then I think the best way to do it is admit to him that you are first. Most people arent going to admit to something that they (probably) dont want to admit to themselves unless the people they're talking to are willing to give up something about themselves, first. That's pretty much human nature. Just whatever you do, be upfront about it. He might get mad if you ask him upfront, but being sly about it and getting him drunk or something is seriously uncool.
thanks, you make a great point, and i'm glad i turned to an internet forum, something i never do, guess i just hadn't really thought about it enough
yea don't ask him upfront, and don't come out just like that either. it might feel to him like you're expecting him to come out too, whether he's gay or not. But let's be honest, admitting to "gay chicken" is not something a straight guy does. It's not even something he'd participate in. let alone say it. I'm going on intuition here, but i think both your bud and you are bi-curious. What you should do is both of you hang out and watch tv, sports, a dvd and drink enough to feel tipsy and carefree. And if there happens to be a box of chicken wings on the table it'll be alot easier for you to ask "so how exactly do you play gay chicken?" and get him to show you. It's a good window of opportunity for you to explore your bisexual tendencies, find out about his, and it may even strengthen the friendship bond. Ask him naturally, the point is to not make it look like u planned on asking him. If it doesn't work then the worse that can happen is you blame it on all the alcohol.
well i think u should tell him that u have a secret (not mentioning that he has a secret aswell) and that u wanted to share it with him for a long time but u dont feel right telling him a secret withought him telling u one so ask him to tell u a secret that he hasent told any one else and then tell him ur bi after ward i dunno it works on my friends all the time
