Should I lie to myself/ What it means to be honest

I have an unresolved issue. My friendship with girl ended because I didn't take it any further. I have problems with anxiety. I didn't tell her I see a therapist. She says I am dishonest for not telling her I see a therapist. I think I it is true I'm a wimp for not taking it further but not dishonest since I did not need to tell her about the therapist unless we were in a relationship. My profile on the internet said friendship but hers said marriage and romance.

What do you think? Am I dishonest?

I feel so upset I missed out since she was such a great person. I think maybe she said I'm dishonest because her profile said she wants an honest man and this helps her deal with missing out on me.

I feel like it would be easier to cope if Iied to myself about her ie telling myself she really wasn't my type etc but that is so hard to do. But if I kept doing it perhaps I would believe the lies. What do others think?

 

You are not dishonest.
She is misusing her words.

What she should have said is that you were not being "open" with her.
Not, "You are not being honest with me."

There is a difference between openness and honesty.
If she had asked you if you were going to a therapist and you said no, then you would not have been honest with her.
If she never asked, and you didn't volunteer that info (for your own reasons) than you haven't lied. You simply didn't share everything with her.
It sound like this woman has trust issues, and would have been the "controlling" type.
Let her go as it seems to me that she may be the one who has lost something that could have really been something special.

Some women and their head games...........

 

I agree with the message above. You didn't lie. You left that part out for your own reasons, obviously. I think if I was in this woman's shoes, I would like to know that a guy I'm seeing is in therapy, though. In truth, there are certain mental afflictions that can take such a toll on a relationship if one gets started. (I have bouts of depression, anxiety, etc. so I know...) So, during the "getting to know you" stage, this always comes up, as do all of the things I deem important. It's necessary to ask questions and to make sure you ask the right ones.

If the therapy was going to be an issue for her, than it should be something she asks about.

Don't lie to yourself or punish yourself. Just accept it as something that didn't happen and move on. You only hurt yourself when you wallow in your own pain for too long. Try to take your mind off of her and move on.

 

If she is going to exert such an exacting set of standards on what you say then I think she did you a favor by ending the relationship. An understanding person would give you a bit of space to deal with personal problems and share the info in your own time. Be happy you didn't get too involved with someone who has demonstrated a tendency to overreact to something that was fairly harmless.