Single for the first time in my adulthood

I just broke up with my boyfriend of almost 5 years.

Since I was 14 years old, I've only been single For about 2-3 months total. I keep going from long-term relationship to long-term relationship.

Ever since I've been out of my parents' house, I've lived with my boyfriend.

This is so new and so scary. I can't believe I actually broke up with him. It's been a long time coming. We've both been unhappy for quite some time. More unhappy than not.

I'm looking forward to finding myself, but I am so scared. I have a place to go, and everything will be ok for me, but I still worry about him and I love him so much.

I wish love was enough, but it's not.

At least i'm taking steps to make myself happy.

Any advice for someone who has never been alone?

 

sorry, no. jumping from one relationship to another doesn't sound good. maybe spend some time alone, figure out if you have dependency issues

what happened?

 

This is one of the best lines I have read! I hope my ex see's this, because its so true

 

i would say to stay alone for a while, but odds are you're already on your way into a new relationship.

 

For once I'm not on my way into a new relationship. I'm trying to break that cycle and do something for myself for once.

Time to figure out who I am I guess!

 

Enjoy yourself and have a lot of fun.

Life IS short.

 

That's just it, isn't it?! Life is so short!

 

By the sounds of it, you're an attractive confident young girl, which is probably why you're normally in a relationship. It doesn't mean you have "dependancy issues" nor anything like that. It's a good thing.
However you should probably realise that you can be a little bit more picky. For example, when the next guy comes along (which he inevitable will trust me and soon) you could leave him and wait for the one after that. Or you could date him casually and date other people at the same time, if you wanted too.

You could even try out some mild flirting with guys you meet. Touch them, look in their eyes and say things like "You're really funny." and "That's a great story." Just little things to make them think you like them. Watch it drive them crazy!

Anyway, good luck and don't stress, you'll be fine.

 

take this time to find yourself zephyr .. everything will work out in good time

 

disagree. Once a long term relationship is over, it's healthy to spend a little time getting over it before getting into a new one.

There's a difference between wanting to be in a relationship and needing to be in one. If you can't live without someone else, it sounds like trouble. Only spending 2-3 months since the age of 14 out of a relationship sounds like someone who needs rather than just wants to be in a relationship.

I could be wrong though.

I bet she is smokin' hot though

 

Zephyr, when would you say you started to feel unhappy in your relationship (3 months ago, a year ago)?

When could you tell he was feeling unhappy in the relationship?

You've been together for 5 years, about the length of the average marriage - obviously there was missing, im just wondering if it was something in you (ambition, career, some goal etc) that was missing or something in the relationship (communication, sex or lack of, support etc) or a mixture of the two.

No matter the issue it would be in good practice to stay single for a bit and figure yourself out, get out with the past love and in with the self love. Every one is scared of forever being alone, but false love doesn't make you any less alone or happy - find yourself before you find someone else. My $.02

 

^thank you! I have been feeling this way for about 1-2 years now on and off. I noticed he wasn't happy within the last year.

Lack of sex was a big part, as well as not wanting the same future.