Skullkid's Walmart Story

Don't assualt them unless they assualt you first.

 

then its illegal on their part

 

in my example, they did assualt you first by trying to stop you... like them grabbing you or tackling you or something.

 

They CAN take thier property from you, remember that.

 

A Guide To Successful Shoplifting:

Preparation: Shoplifting is done best in teams. Have 2-3 close buddies to assist you in your thievery.

GOLDEN RULE: Never leave a fellow shoplifter behind!

Now that you've assembled your team together, you need to all get a proper disguise. I suggest a wig, a fake mustache, maybe some glasses? This is your chance to be creative!

Let's get to Shoplifting!

Once your disguises are in place, its time to head on down to the local Wal-Mart. Be sure to park your car in a different parking lot, as many Wal-Marts have parking lot cameras. Better safe than sorry!

Proceed into the Wal-Mart entrance. Be sure to smile at the old man who greets you. Once you've succesfully gotten past the old man, it's time to get down to business!

Grab whatever you can shove into your pants and pockets. Grab as much stuff as you can in order to make it worth your while. Be sure to check out the snacks isle, your probabaly hungry. After you've grabbed everything you want, non-chalantly walk back out the exit, making sure to smile at the old man again. Go back to your car and drive home. Enjoy all of your free shit.

Emergency Evacuation Procedure:

In the event that you are caught stealing, make sure never to hand yourselves over to those satanic spawns who work at Wal-Mart. If a security guard asks you to come with him, use this line: "Look over there! A special on security guard shades!" Then run. Run like hell. By the time the security guard realizes there is no special, you'll be long gone.

GOLDEN RULE # 2 (yes there can be two golden rules): Never hand yourself over! They've got nothing on you! You're wearing a disguise therefore they do not have your idenity. Just run like hell and you'll be fine.

Note: Make sure to get a new disguise if you get caught.


That's it folks. With this guide and a little practice, you'll be shoplifting like a pro. Good luck!

 

At least you had enough sense to keep your shit hidden.

 

lol i always go into walmart and stock up on lighters for like 1 year period

 

My brother was the best at five finger discounts, he could steal more shit from walmart and sears and not get caught, I don't know how he made it past all the electronic security, but he was gifted!

 

Lol I knew this guy that was like that but he got caught all the time he could just run really fast^. He had one of those gas powered scooters and used it as a getaway vehicle which I thought was hilarious.