I'm bisexual...and about a year and a half ago I got chased down by a van with 3 kids in it who beat the piss out of me until my friend Robbie showed up... Anyway, I'm over it now and today I even approached one of the guys and asked him why he did it...and he completely had forgotten, he apologized to me and all this other stuff, it was pretty interesting...we ended up talking for a few hours and turns out he's good friends with a lot of my friends now and is actually part of his schools GSA (Gay Straight Alliance)...pretty interesting shit... Anyone else ever get beat up? And di anyone else every re-approach those people?
It doesn't surprise me that one guy who had beat you up turned out later to be gay-friendly. A lot of gay bashers are closet cases who are desperately in denial, and quite a few of them do eventually come to terms with it...
when i was on a amusement park field trip in the 8th grade when a group of kids threw rocks at my friends and i while screaming "fags" and such...i never confronted them later because they were from some other school far away from us...we didn't know them. that incident was the beginning of my intense fear of my homosexuality and caused a lot of lying and questioning in the years to come.
I've never been beat up, but I've been insulted. Of course, the people who insulted me didn't even know what my sexual orientation is...
I've never been teased about it, except by the boy who I babysit for (he found a photo that I had of me and my crush kissing)... but he always has one reason or another to make fun of me (ex. I'm vegitarian, I'm not Christian, I wear guys clothing, etc.) so I don't pay ant attention to him. When I first became open about my sexuality and started clinging to my crush all the time(she stumbled out of the closet right after me), some of the girls in my class would be slightly immature about it, snickering behind my back... eventually everyone became cool with it though. I've never been teased about it at school, in fact when I came out of the closet, a few ohers stumbled out behind me too.
I’ve been a few arguments where the other guy called me a cocksucker. I just smiled and said “thanks for the compliment”
this thread is 16 years old...No comment at this point because the creator is most likely somewhere else now.
There are many threads that started 16 years ago and are still going strong. So I figure there's nothing wrong with me adding my own experiences to this thread. As a kid I had been called a faggot and bullied and beaten up. But I wasn't out, and think I acted straight, and I had a lot of strong crushes on girls. In fact, even though my best friend living across the street from me and I played around sexually with each other from 8-13 years of age (sucking each other's cocks, rimming each other, inserting at least our cockheads in each other's assholes, maybe full out fucking (I can't remember for sure, maybe there's some repression going on)), I don't remember connecting that with being gay or bisexual, though in hindsight, because it continued for 6 years, I think my bisexuality was already expressing itself in those early years (and didn't show itself again until my first girlfriend broke up with me after three years together, on and off, when I was 30). So in hindsight I wonder whether these bullies actually saw this bisexuality in me, and then for various reasons, including homophobia, called me names and beat me up. Perhaps it's also why I was rejected by every single girl I expressed interest in (except one, whom I went out on a date with once, when I was 16 and she was 14, after which both our sets of parents made us stop seeing each other because they thought we were too young, lol). Maybe I was broadcasting my bisexuality subliminally to everyone. I'm still in the closet, except to my therapists and my second girlfriend 2016-19, the latter whom I told my entire history of sucking over 200 guys, rimming several and fucking one, before she and I had sex the first time (and I got tested). Mostly I'm still in the closet because I figure until I actually have romantic feelings for another guy, and not just sexual, and have a boyfriend with whom I want to be open with others about, nobody needs to know what I do in the bedroom. But I wonder whether part of me has fear that at an unconscious level stems from those traumatic memories of being bullied so much, call a faggot so much, and beaten up a number of times as a kid.
I may just be lucky but I "seduced" several of my friends well before my mid teens, and while I was turned down a few times I never had anyone go all Rambo on me. Maybe it was the way I approached the subject. I would talk about it in a very casual way and judge their reaction. It was easy to tell if they were receptive.
I often wonder if it was something subtle or subliminal that others, especially girls noticed in me that I didn't in myself? All of the girls that I crushed on HARD, either outright rejected or friend zoned me. All the girls who crushed on me, I didn't have the same interest in them. Or one confused me by pinching my ass in public when I wore shorts, jumping on my back for rides. If only she'd tried a little less harder, I mistook her obvious teasing flirtation for mocking - & I was attracted to her! Sigh! Ironically, I now know she was bi, likely had her own struggles of confusion, and is married to a woman! I never had a high school girlfriend, and missed out on that, as it would have made a profound positive impact on my social skills, plus been fun! Luckily, having a big shouldered, stocky frame, and being exceptionally smart, either prevented anyone from bullying me, or made them think twice about it. I was either to physically intimidating to bully, or on another level, brains wise, for them to figure out how to verbally bully me. (I tested at a 12th grade level in the 6th grade, thankfully parents refused to skip me a grade, or it would have been worse for me). As a young adult, when around other sports loving, beer chugging guys, I noticed a pronounced behavioral or social difference. I always had problems interpreting women's flirting behavior & signals, some near blatant. I erred on the side of not feeling like a fool responding, if I was wrong, & missed out - a lot! With what small bi curiosities I had, the repercussions of getting the signals wrong felt 1,000 fold worse compared with women. Plus, I have no romantic interest in guys, only male bonding friendship & sometimes sexual release. So, I never approached or sought out gay guys, thinking they'd see through me in an instant, yet know I wasn't fully one of them, either - but be branded for women to stay away from at the same time. Trapped in a no man's land and no woman's land, only rarely, fleetingly, bumping into other ghosts like myself. And then the internet, message boards, and quasi anonymity has come along and I know I'm not a ghost wondering alone!
Thank you, is it Ray (?), for sharing your story. No, you're not a ghost wandering alone. There are many of us that we can now somewhat bond with over this medium called the Internet. And through the same medium we can also find each other to get together with in person for some sexual fun, if not for stronger bonding. I'm so sorry you had such difficulty with women as well, as I have. Your school years as well as at least your younger adult years sound like they were quite challenging. Sometimes very intelligent people (I count myself in that demographic) lack skills in other areas, including the social domain. It must be even more frustrating for you to have had girls interested, but missing or misinterpreting the cues. That kind of regret must be very difficult to bear. Even in hindsight, I can only identify 5 girls for sure that have been interested in me--one girl who I went on one date with at 16 (that I mentioned where her parents made us stop), one woman who I went on 3 dates with that I met through speed-dating (but she was so affectless (lacking emotion) that she was zero fun on our dates, and two women who became my girlfriends (at my ages of 27-33 & 54-57, both on and off in very rollercoaster relationships), and, finally, one crazy ass woman who it was very obvious to me was crushing on me in my speed-dating and singles cocktail party days: I kept running into her and she was pretty aggressively flirting with me all the time, but her overall personality and behaviour showed that she was someone I shouldn't get involved with (like I said, batshit crazy). One thing that did peak my interest with her was that either she was bisexual or she was picking up on my bisexuality, in that a large group of us in a paid singles club went on an outing to an art gallery, and she kept whispering in my ear how she wanted her and I to go and see a lesbian art exhibit in a separate room that the group did not patronize. Maybe I should've taken her up on that offer, as well as go out on a date with her. I don't know. But it is also possible that I missed the cues from many different girls throughout my life who had an interest in me. In hindsight I can only think of two where I might have missed cues. One girl was in high school whom I had a big crush on and asked her out, and she gave me an excuse why she couldn't, that may have just been a legitimate reason that my low self-esteem interpreted as rejection (the irony is that 30 years later in our 40s and 50s she and I were good long distance email friends, writing a lot about our difficulties with depression, with especially me trying to help her using things that I learned myself to help myself; super unfortunately, the tragedy in the end was that I lost touch with her for a few months a few years ago and then learned through another mutual friend that she had committed suicide, OMG!). The other cue-potential girl was in grade 6 or 7--a very flamboyant girl--who found out that I had a crush on her, and then for many months afterwards publicly taunted/mocked me, singing "Gaaaarrrrrryyyy [Gary, my name] loves me, Gaaaarrrrrryyyy loves me...." Many years later I wondered whether that was her equivalent of a boy pulling a girl's pigtail whom he has a crush on, or like your ass-pinching girl, Ray. But there may have been other girls throughout my life who gave cues demonstrating their interest but to this day I remain ignorant of. And perhaps guys too? Damn!
That took a lot of effort to write, I bet. Thanks. I was bullied a bit in grade school but never after that. I think part of my problem with the opposite sex is the same sex. Sometimes I'm fairly convinced there's something I have to do with guys before I can feel free pursue ladies.
