hello my name is crystal stevenson. i am 22 years old married to michael stevenson we have been together for 4 going on 5 years and i dont know how to change the things that make us fight. im the one he talked about in the past that was in prison. im the mother to his 4 kids we were together when he was saying he was a single dad trying to raise the 2 kids and that still hurts me i see messages from the past when i was in jail and he was saying we were not together and it still bugs me really bad and i always end up causing a fight between us cause i let it bug me so bad how do i get over this??? how can i just believe that hes happy with me and dont want anyone else??? if anyone can help me i would love it i hate fighting im a lover not a fighter and i dont want us fighting anymore but its hard he wants to look at females and i say no we see a movie and it has a girl topless or sleeping with a man i think he only watches it cause of the bitches...when he looks at a female walkin up the street i think he likes wat he sees and it bugs me how can i change this please help..... thank you crystal stevenson
My suggestion is, sweetheart you just have to do what's best for the children. At 22, with four children, you have your work cut out for you. Your man may mature and realize that, but if not, only you can make that decision. As for looking at girls......men are going to do that all their lives....has nothing to do with you.....It's just guy shit. Bottom line...if you love him and he's good to your kids, and faithful as far as you know. Give him the benefit of the doubt. You are both very young to have this much responsibility. Men are usually still pretty stupid at 22 or 23. I know, I was one. Give him a chance to grow up and be a dad. But.....only you can judge when enough is enough.....
he is 30 and he says he loves me he is great with the kids its me im the one that cant handle him lookin at other females im the one who throws a fit i feel if he needs to look than im not makin him happy enough...i dont have to look at men why does he have to look at females
tell you something us guys well me anyway i like looking at other gals but as long as he only looks and don't act then you should'nt worry to much about it...you don't need to be inscure if he is just looking
I'm guessing you just found his account here? I 'd first suggest you get your own, and veil who you are if you DON'T want him to know what you are doing, and to be clear to forum members. secondly, only YOU know if you can get over his looking while you were locked up. I'd say most people do start flings when a partner is away for a long time, even if the fling never becomes physical.
I agree, my man looks when there's some babe walking down the street, he probably jeers with his mates about women who he thinks are fit, but that's just bloke stuff. It's part of a male human instinct, and if they turned off the instinct to look twice, they'd be turning off a major part of themselves. As long as he doesn't do anything more than look, then he's doing nothing wrong. And in a way, it's a compliment, if he looks at other girls, and he stays with you, he must see something better in you. That's the way I like to think of it anyway.
Ok, I've just read the other posts and woah, it sounds like you've been through some tough stuff over the last couple of years. I don't know what to say, only having an outside view on things, but maybe all he did was write the post and it didn't go any further than that? Or maybe it did, that's something you guys need to sort out together. This place can be just a place to let off steam for some people, and flirting with someone on a computer screen can be very different from flirting in real life. One thing though, after all the two of you have been through, you are still together as a family, and that must stand for something. If you could work through all the things you have been through, then surely this is worth working through aswell? I hope it all goes well for you x
you shouldnt post your full name or email address on the web btw... anyway, jealousy will tear you two apart. you need to learn to loosen up a little about him looking... its not as though you could pluck the eyes from his face, yknow? the rest... well, thats for you two to sort out as a couple
drumminmamma i knew about his account on here i just never thought i had to worrie bout anything im tryin to get over my problem but its hard i realize everyone is saying hes a man and is gonna look no matter wat but i dont know how to get over it and realize that he is with me not them and it bugs me cause i dont have to look at others and it makes me feel like i need to look like them
Crystal, you are not a man, don't feel like you have to have male urges to match him. It can be difficult to understand that people act different from ourselves, but you have to accept that everyone does not act in the same way, and that no one way is right. Just concentrate on being what makes you you, that must be what drew him to you in the first place? Oh, and get an account of your own on here, so we can see some more posts by you! x
I have found that jealousy is one of the most harmful feelings to have in a relationship. Only you can control your jealousy, and it benefits you and your relationship to do so. Right now you are feeding it, allowing the jealousy to grow into a big ugly monster that could eventually consume you. Looking at members of the opposite sex is a far cry from cheating on someone. I can appreciate that a person (male or female) is attractive, but it doesn't mean that I want them in my bed. Some people are worth a second look The bottom line is simple: you cannot and should not demand nor expect your man to not look at other women (this does go both ways). I could see asking him to be more discreet, but to tell him "NO" is unhealthy for your relationship. The "I don't so he shouldn't" argument leads to trouble in most cases, and should be avoided if possible.
Hell, I think other women scrutinize women more then men. Watch a room full of women when one walks through with a short skirt and all their heads turn. My wife and I check out women together all the time. She comments on their dress while I comment on their ass. Works for us but we are both people watchers. All I can say about the jealousy is grow up and put it behind you. Its the only option at this point. If you don't you will drive him away. Spend your energy reconnecting instead of fighting about stupid things. I can't beleive you have all that much energy left after chasing around 4 kids. Struggle to keep your family together and next time your husbands eyes follow a woman turn to him a say wow shes sexy. He will like the confidence, trust me.
