so my dad is gonna die soon

Like not sure when he was given 2 weeks to 2 months in Dec and here he still is. I'm happy though cause we see eye to eye. I'm really gonna miss him.
I wonder how long this is gonna go on for. Is the chemo making him say he's not gonna make it more than 2 weeks or is it actually true? What should I be saying to him? I gave him reiki yessterday... I try to listen. What do you want to hear when you are gonna die when you really havent had any relationship with any "God"?

The doctors are gonna check him over next week.

 

:grouphug:

 

I am sorry to hear that your dad is not doing so well. Perhaps he has just made peace with it. Acceptance is a part of cancer and treatments.

Chemo can play havoc with your hemogloblin and electrolytes.

Just tell him what you need to say to him. Be there and sometimes saying nothing is alright as well.

Tell him that you are going to miss him.

 

he wants to hear you're happy...lie if you have to

 

I am so sorry to hear that, too. Everybody is right, especially bbad "he wants to hear you're happy...lie if you have to".
Perhaps he has reached some type of enlightenment and would like to share it?
All I know for sure is there is no real answer, or no general answer for your dad cause I imagine everyone's "acceptance" of the physical end is different; but I will think of y'all (and yes, I'm sorry if it offends you and hope it doesn't, but I cannot help mention y'all in my prayers/thoughts to Him).

 

Bummer, I'd tell him how much he means to you and how mcuh you are gonna miss him, something heartfelt

 

Listening is as good as saying things. I've seen a family member pass away recently. She didn't believe she was going to die even though it was obvious that it was terminal. She said she was visited by an angel that told her he would extract all the cancer and it would be a miracle that the doctors wouldn't be able to explain. I just listened to what she had to say and tried to make things comfortable for her.

.

 

On a more technical side, there are signs in the final days. Sometimes the doctors will stop visiting a patient regularly and stop taking measurements when they know death is within a week or so. Patients sometimes get frantic in the few days leading up to death, demanding that they be moved out of the facility. Visions of angels and deceased family members is fairly common also.

When critical organs such as the kidneys begin to shut down, death is usually imminent. They are critical for ridding wastes and for keeping blood pH in the very narrow range that is needed to sustain life. The body will sometimes then try to rid wastes through the skin, the only way it can. It can create unusual scents. Breathing becomes irregular with slow or long pauses between breaths, and the 'death rattle' of the lungs can occur.

I don't mean to be gory. I'm just stating some of the experiences I've had with patients at facilities such as hospices.

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Chemo therapy is so hard on the body. I'm sorry your loved one is going through this. My mother, Grandmother, and Grandfather have went through it. But it really depends on the person.

Just tell him that you love him and that you always will. I'm not sure what you tell someone who hasn't had a relationship with God, but I guess you just tell them what you believe. But not forcing it down their throat. Its really hard, but I hope you find the right words.

My last words to my Grandpa were I love you and I let him know if it was his time to go, that he needed to go.

 

Sorry to hear about your dad. When my mom died I sat with her for her last 3 days with us, I talked about all the stuff that I could remember about things that happened in my family over the years. This seemed to provide a little comfort to her in her last days. Very difficult but I hope this helps.

 

sorry to hear that, I had a decent trippy experience when my dad died..

 

I certainly wouldn't like to hear any contrived, false comfort, bullshit. And I probably would prefer silence.

There's no chance he's going into some kind of vegetative state, is there?

Those can be rough when they start tubing you up, and you live another decade in a hospital bed, racking up bills, and suffering carnally but without any awareness, among all kinds of legal restriction as to when the family is allowed to "unplug the tubes", etc.

I'd do anything to avoid that.

Edit: Is your dad not religious then?

 

sorry to hear that. the loss of a loved one is Alys tough.

 

Say what you need to him in order to not feel regret after he is gone.

 

Just speak to him like normal, if things are well between you both. Just make him happy.

 

Sorry to hear that

With ‘Father’s Day’ approaching this may be your last opportunity to share something truly special before he takes up permanent residence in his new 84” x 28” x 23” basement condo.


Hotwater

 

I'm not sorry, daughters still in his life, means he wasnt a jerk

Better being him than the guy whose kids dont even know he's on his death bed, or worse, the guy who sees his kids go first.

I'm sure he had a reasonably good innings, and probably doesnt want the pity party

At this stage what is probably most important to him is that he is going before you do, probably more worried about how its going to affect you rather than him

 

Dumb. The fact someone may have had a nice life and could even be ready to go themselves is all well and good

but if someone close to them is upset, don't discount their feelings.

 

What A Bizarre Post.!....



Cheers Glen.

 

Hmmm, maybe


Sounds so patronising though doesnt it, when everybody in the thread says "Oh, sorry to hear....". A little pat on the head, "You'll be right"


Maybe thats not the case, maybe its going to feel like a raw festering wound until the day she dies, especially when he's gone and it hits her she's never going to have THAT bond with any other man.

Maybe the more it hurts it means the more she loved her dad.

Maybe she should have a big whopping cry about it now so she feels alive