So my mom said...

"You need to brush your hair. It looks nasty. I was embarrassed today in the store when I got a good look at your hair(she's been in her bed for weeks cause she fractured her spine) and though how dirty it looks. It doesn't have the dirty look, it just looks nasty."
And my dad was like, "Yeah, I hate it."

Made me feel like shit.
They always find a way.

 

Parents always have a way of making you feel like shit. fuck em. they always want you to be a spitting image of them or be better than them, and when you turn out to be any less than what they wanted you to be, they tend to let you know in the most brutal of ways. my mom let me know by throwing me down a flight of stairs and then calling the cops on me because i elbowed her on the way down. just wait...

 

Oh well. I always try and be thankful, seeing as without them, I wouldn't be here. So I guess I can't complain TOO much.

 

You know there will be a lot of people out there that just don't get it. I'm lucky to be past that phase of wanting to please my mother by my looks. Do what you want with your hair. I used to have blue hair and when my mother saw my dreads she said "you always were a little bit different"
Embrace what makes you happy. And if your parents keep harping on you about it. simply say you could be a lot worse... they should feel so lucky you are just experimenting with your hair, and not drugs or worse!

 

My mum from day one has hated my hair, she doesn't mind so much anymore now they have matured a bit, but still thinks I look like a tramp Lmao!
I don't care

 

Maybe it is nasty. Just because you're trying to dread doesn't mean you need to not wash ever.

 

i'm pretty sure she's washing it, warrior >.<

 

yuh just as you have things you dont understand, other people have things they dont understand. just dont get mean about it and stay positive, they'll learn to love or atleast tolerate them over time. also sounds that they just dont understand the process, thinking that this is it? dont let these things get you down though, its pretty much the natural way of how things tend to be, youre not alone

 

I get the same thing, only mine goes on about how I will get lice and such.

 

Well, I'm not even allowed them, so all of you be glad that you're allowed that right

 

Mind said same thing as well. Now it's been 3 months. Haha, I would leave this house to have 'em.

 

Your hair is your own. You shouldn't let anybody tell you what you can or can't do with it.

 

Easier said than done.

Once I'm out of the house, I'll be doing what I wish with it. Which is most likely dreads.

 

Seth...ok nevermind. I was gonna rant but meh, can't be arsed.

Re the original thread post - and these "grown ups" (yes I still see them that way even though I'll be 29 this year and would be angry at anyone considering me to be any less than an adult ) what exactly is so great about their boring crappy hair-dos that gives them the right to pass these judgements anyway? And what should we judge of them by their hair-dos...that they are boring tedious old farts?

 

Parents (not all but many) want you to be like them or better than them because that is all they know. They live in their insular little bubbles with their often very fixed, very narrow view of the world and what it is to have a sucessful, happy life. At the end of the day most parents want what is (in their opinion) the best for their children, and as a parent myself I can 100% understand this. Problems arise when their values clash with yours, and they still believe they have the right to impress them onto you. Continuing to regard you as the small, malleable child you once were is patronsing, insulting, and a huge pain in the arse.

My parents still try it on and I'm 35, though, thankfully, they've long since given up on what I look like. I can tell they are trying really hard NOT to make comment concerning my dreads, but the other side of this coin is just as obvious - the total lack of acknowledgement and complete silence concerning my hair is almost deafening!! Now you could argue that from a parental perspective they can't win; in a damned if ya do, damned if ya don't kind of way. Either way, I personally am long past giving a shit.

What I do give a shit about is when they start on my son. It may have taken 17-18 years or so for them to realise that I'm a grown up and that my life is my own, but when my 9 year old son recently decided that he wanted to grow his hair long, they had no qualms whatsoever telling him how much he looked like a girl, how he would get lice, and how scruffy and untidy he looked. Fortunately I am now of that age (and motherly persuasion) where I felt perfectly justified and suitably aggrieved enough to take granny dear to one side and tell her in no uncertain terms to stop dissin ma boy and undermining me!! It was all too little to late though, and my son (the young, tender shoot that he is) was all to easily swayed Needless to say his hair is now short (and very neat and tidy) again. Job well done as far as the grandparents are concerned.

BTW, throwing your child down the stairs in not parenting in any shape or form. That is abuse.

 

My mom hates dreads but is learning to ignore them because they are keeping me from dying my hair. I've been asking her if I could have dreads since I was 14 or 15. It really all depends on if your parents went through the rebellious stage or not. I've noticed a lot of parents that have been rebellious with their parents tend to except their children more for who they are and don't try to mold them into a clone of themselves.

****note that I'm not saying dreads are rebellious but most parents do see them that way****

 

Seth. your parents only have as much control over you as you allow them to have. Im guessing you're still in the "listen to what your parents say or else they will ground you phase". This isnt a bad thing, you just have not been liberated from that way of thinking. if you're under 18, which im guessing you are, they cant legally kick you out. and that is the absolute worst thing that can happen. If they ground you. do what you want regardless of what they say. i mean, do it within reason. dont go crazy and go squander your bank account on weed and fritos. still respect them, but let them know that you are your own person, responsible for your own actions in the world. and if that doesnt work, then eventually after a period of you just doing what you want, they will realize that you arent going to change back to the cute little seth they knew and loved, and accept the fact that you are growing up. as much as they hate to see it, every parent has to accept this at one point in their childs life. all they can do is hope that they raised you well enough to have you succeed in the real world.

 

that is shitty. you like your hair, dont let them change your mind.

 

Amybird, hit me with your rant. I'd like to hear what you have to say.

At Topher, yeah, I know. I don't really have the heart to do that. Actually, my dad is trying to kick me out and send me to military school (I told them I'd be out of the country by the time they got home from dropping me off there). They really hate me now because (in no particular order):
1) I'm vegetarian
2) I'm a hippie
3) They think I use drugs (I don't)
4) I'm kinda Buddhist
5) I don't play sports anymore
6) I don't get good enough grades in school for them (A/B)
7) I don't do the pledge of allegiance (my dad's in the army, so this infuriates him)
8) I still hang out with my friend, whom they forbid be to associate with (because he's vegetarian and athiest)

Yeah. It's kinda ridiculous. My dad's always like "You think you can just do whatever you want. Well, lets go out back. Me and you can settle this like men and fight." I'm just like, well dad, that's a great idea, except I'm a pacifist, so I don't think that's really going to be much of a telltale of who's a bigger man. I'd say I probably am since I'm mature enough to settle things in a way better than violence, but I guess you can argue otherwise".

I don't know. Hopefully once I'm 18, I'm going to leave the house and join someone on a bus trip or go spend some time in a hippie commune. I need to get unsheltered.

 

Nah I've kinda lost whatever steam I had behind a potential rant. It can probably be summarised as do whatever you want and make your parents deal with it. Lol, such a let-down, sorry