So my wife of 5 years just left me.....

This is really hard. To top it off it's mostly my fault. I didn't cheat or anything like that, but I did let her down.......and my own trust issues created a multitude of problems. She doesn't feel like she's moving forward with me because we keep suffering setbacks, most of which originate with me. This is so painful, I never thought I would feel pain like this. The best moments of my life are with her, I love her smile, her eyes.........everything about her. She's been my best friend since we first met, and now this is all over. I don't know how i'm going to cope with this..........this is..really, really painful.

 

Sorry to hear it dude, if you are under 40 try to see it as a learning experience.

I know that sounds shallow but truthfully I'm speaking from experience, I got better at relationships the more I had. Now my wife of 23 years says that I'm the perfect man.

Some real advice, get laid soon and often, really worked for the back in the day, I might have felt like shit but the more I played around the better I felt. Besides it not
good to dwell on what mistakes you or her made you and she have already had the learning experience and do not have to learn that again. Dwell on finding the next love of your life, and look hard and long (of course this means referring to the above mentioned advise get laid soon and often) and out of the blue I'll bet the love of your life will appear, however she will not appear if you don't kiss a few toads looking for her.

Peace Dude
Dan

 

lol, thats quite the advice..

sucks to hear that rob. dont know what to tell ya except if ya love her do whatever it will take to get her back.no shame in change if its for a good thing.


or just go to nationals and take mr dude's advice..

 

sorry man. The best thing to do right now is surround yourself with people you like and love. You'll realise it's okay after awhile. That part of your life may be over but that doesn't mean the times weren't good and the memories can't be good ones. Maybe not right now as in now, but soon you get to start a whole brand new life over for yourself and although your not at all thrilled about it now, it can be very exciting and rewarding. I got to do so myself and I am happier today than I ever have been in my life. I look back and am grateful for all the shit and horrible things I had to trudge through to get here cause it's made me who I am. Your wife may be going away, but you have gained another chance at life so to speak. You can start over and do better by and for youself this time. Whatever you do I hope you find peace and don't hurt for too long. Peace and Love

 

i'm about to leave mine too according to me men were born to be assholes

 

That helps frick, why did you even bother posting that? I'm not your husband, why take out your animosity towards him on me? You don't know me, you know nothing of me and the type of person I am. Making a blanket assumption that all men are assholes is like me being robbed by a black man and going out and joining the klan. Tighten up sistah.

Anyway to everyone else thanks for the good advice and positive energy. I think i'm all set with lot twat and gathering groupies, had my fair share already and in my experience it always seems to end badly. HHB I think your right, I love her too death, she's my goddess and that's something that's pretty hard to let go of. She's got my heart bro. I gotta try to shine again. I spoke to her last night and i'm pretty sure she's having some sort of nervous breakdown. I'm going to take my daughter down here for awhile and give her some time to herself, and when she brings my daughter she's going to visit me for a few days. I don't know what's going to happen between us but she seems to be receptive to me...........I'm hoping our relationship can be saved. Either way she's having a rough time and I think having my daughter here with me would be good for all of us. It doesn't look like i'm going to get to nationals, I should drive out to katuah today. So I think i'm gonna try out the scene down here in Asheville for awhile, I got work lined up and I've got good family here. I'm sure i'm gonna be headed down your way to visit once things even out a bit.

 

Yeah, frick, thanks for calling me an asshole.
****. (Notice, I didn't say all women are cunts, just you =) )

Sorry propa, I don't know much I can tell ya; I feel for you though, as much as that may help.
Good luck, and try your best not to put any pressure or negativity on it.

 

jsut don't go begging her to take you back. that's the worst thing you can do.

you a freeman! goto vegas, and have fun with vegas strippers!

all you need is hotchix.

 

Yeah, let her go. What is "setbacks"? Since when do you bail on a marriage because you can't take the setbacks? She sounds like a demanding bitch who's blaming her own trust and commitment issues on you.

Honestly, it sounds exactly like she's cheating on you. Cheaters always play the same two cards...it's either "you're cheating on me" or "you don't trust me." And then they split because they're in way over their heads.

Best thing to do is enjoy your freedom, spend time with friends and get a regular booty call. Just make sure you don't talk to the booty call, or cuddle or anything like that. You need to be independent for a while.

 

Cradle Robber....


What the hell is with this booty call advice? Hes over that. You love her? go get her or give her some space and she'll realize what a loss she took

teamwork is key to make a relationship work, if shes not willing to put her effort in to move things forward then move on. I hope this is your bottom cause you need to move on from your setbacks or you will totally lose her

 

has it ever occurred to some of you that perhaps it WAS things he was doing that caused this?

i mean i know for a fact what caused the love of my life to leave me was ALL my own doing.

i was fucking up bad and had to get my shit together if i ever wanted to be with her again and thats just what i did.
we couldnt be happier.


rob is a grown man. he knows whether or not he is to blame for her leaving and it would appear he seems to think he is.

sometimes we just gotta look inside ourselves to see how those we truly love feel.

i for one applaud rob on recognizing his faults and having the courage to change for the one he loves.


do what ya gotta do if shes worth it rob.

you wont regret it.. dont listen to these yahoos,only you know if she is..

good fortune on whatever path this leads you..

 

try drinking some beer and maybe jerking off and take a walk or something

 

i'm sorry to all the guys i offended i was just in a bitch last night

 

didnt offend me,i know im a asshole..

 

not really sure your situation or how u let her down. but i know that the right answers are always in your heart, all you can do is follow it, thats the best chance you got for things to work out for the best.
but if yall are married with a child, then i would say a permanent home, and more sober days then partying days would be important. sometimes rainbow mammas change as they get older and get more responsibilities, and want more of a traditional lifestyle.

 

Apology accepted. And as for me, I don't get offended, I get angry and mean. So, I recognize there is probably some reason for me to apologize for similar reason =) So, sorry in case there is.

 

Poster

Your mairrage falls under the 52% divorce rate in the western world for 1-5 years.

I wrote this about mairrage.

"Mairrage is a way of life, as much as it is a decision. The decision to have it as a way of life and feel pleasure from it MORE than harship, is a direct outcome of how much you know what you will feel, think and ACT like about the thousands of potential things that we think, feel and act about in life, for the rest of your life. When you marry someone it is your responsibility that you understand both how you will feel about a multitude of things that directly affect your feelings, thoughts and actions towards the person you marry. AND also the types of things that will come into your life.

NAturally, I will never be able to marry for longer than what I imagine is a reasonable time frame - such as 3-5 years(depending on how good the relationship is). Also, we would hypothetically already talk about the liklihood that we may not be able to keep our commitment...so it wouldnt really be a commitment, more of a light promise, to most likely some financial things. Beyond that you would have to either have the skills, knowledge and prediction capacities that entail the above assumptions about 'promising you ill be able and willing to love someone and mantain sanity, happiness and relaxation.

As a reflection of our skills and most likely our inbility to re-think cutural norms due to lack of education on them, 50 % mairrages in the latest decades have lasted less than 5 years and a majority of the percentage that stays in their promise, unwittedley report problems in their maiirage, that are constant and have given rise to notions of divorce in both spouses.

My theory about mairrage and why it causes problems is quite spot on, as me and m partner went throug as period where we tested this and talked about this ecstatically for months, less so now. It revolves around our inability to adapt culural norms to our present technological and highly connected world. In short, before those that were mairraged and who made the promise to live together their whole lives, did so in a time where there existed small rural communities with little to no connection to the outside world. This made for a situation where the option to meet new and after a while of the same old same old, exciting people, inexistent. Due to the lack of internet dating sites, such as lavalife, craiglist etc etc. This made for a situation where people could not see that there was better people than who they are with, due to the philosphical law of comparisons. A law thats assumes " If there is nothing for an individual to compare thing A to that the individual knows of, then thing A will always take precedence over thing B C D ETC ETC, not because thing A is better, but because in order for someone to have an opinion of thing A, they need atleast one more thing, to do so. Take a small town for instance, population 300, farm community. PErson A see's their relationship, compares it to relationship B, see's that its the same thing and see's no reason for change. Ok,now take Toronto, population 2 000 000, where you see 300 potential new relationships to compare to your already existing one, in lets say, two days. The likelihood that you will want to change is much larger this TIME period than it was before and this is the major reason why maiirage worked before but fails us now...theres so much more to choose from and experience, even when we have already chosen...Then ADD in ALL the potential people you will meet on sites like these and you may just see that what I advertised and have already bought on sale from book and alot of experimentation, is a better bargain than its evolutionary weaker, but no by nessecity to all, stronger cultural paradigm.

I hope this helps you to more stable, relaxed, adventurous and passionatly explosive relationships, minus the unawaranted heartbreak.

Fair well and focus all your might, repitition is the key. "

I hope you enjoy it, i know i did.

 

Changehappens -- you are clearly insane.

 

I think I might have to agree.

 

Sometimes when you lose, you win.