Stoner One Liners

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JUST A FEW STONER ONE LINERS​

This is just a little list of sayings and comments you might hear while your sitting around smokin' the stinky bud. Why did I put these on here you ask? Why not????

1. Dude...

2. While you're up...

3. Stick a fork in me, I'm done.

4. I'm so fucked up.

5. Noway?!?!

6. You suck!

7. Pass that shit.

8. Is that a cop behind me?

9. Bogus.

10. I think I'm wiggin' out.

11. Pack it up man.

12. What time is it?

13. Yeah man.

14. Whaaaaaat?

15. What was I sayin'.

16. Out on the planes...

17. I'm burnt.

18. I'm all good thanks.

19. This is some good shit.

20. Woah! Nice hit!

21. Hit this

22. Shut up and smoke already.

23. Whatever man.

24. I don't even care.

25. So what are we doin'?

26. Pizza anyone?

27. Where's my lighter?

28. It's your hit.

29. 'eeeeeeaaaaaar.

30. {cough..cough..}Fuck!

31. Are you just gonna fucking lay there?

32. Wait...Shhhh...Did someone knock at out door?

33. Man... Your feet are ripe!

34. I think the cat's wiggin' out.

35. No man, I ain't driving.

36. Right on.

37. Man it reeks of weed in here.

38. Crack the window.

39. We ain't got shit to eat.

40. Hey can I eat that?

41. If it's for me I'm not here dude.

42. I'm gonna pack this again, just because.

That is some funny shit, I got it from this website http://geocities.com/SoHo/Courtyard/4959/

It has a lot of funny stoner stories on it.

 

How can you forget: "Hey, what were we just talking about????"

 

haha yeah this should be a thread to add your own that isnt in the list.

44. What the fuck was that!?

 

45. Station! lol haha, i just watched all the bill and ted movies

 

46. put it down theirs a cop

47. i'v got the munchies

48. got a light?

 

49. Dude, where the fuck are we?
50. Woah, how the hell did we get to my uncle's house, we were deffinetly just in the forest...(this happens to me at least once a month, i seriously have NO idea how we keep endin up their)
51.Shit, shit, its cherried, hit that

 

52. dude pay attention to the road
53. your so fucking funny right now
54.im burnt out
55. hey man, wanna match?
peace~

 

56. I'm freakin' out, man!
57. I am so fucking baked.

 

58. What, I'm just chillin'.

 

59. so anyway, we were in the woods and....and we...what the fuck were we doing?
60. (silence) what did you say? oh, i thought you said something.
61. ready to go again?
62. yo, i just got the best idea..ever!

 

63. Check this shit out...(do soemthing stupid).
64. wow man look at that.
65. how long were we sitting there in silence?

 

63. Its rollin, smoke that shit!
64. Its a pipe, not a microphone (refering to people who hold the J or pipe and tell a story, and just sit there for awhile)
65. Hey turn that music up!
66. SHIT! ITS ALL GONE! Someone call to pick more up!

 

67. Which one of u fucks stole my lighter
68. Ok we smoke one every day for the rest of the week(then we get stoned and smoke em all)
69. Man its 4:20 lets do this thang

 

rememberrr ONE liners!


70. i'm too stoned to get the chips.....

 

btw yeahhh i hate it when ppl do # 64!!!!!!!!!!! grrrr. i usually go 'puff puff give muh fucka, puff puff GIVE' or 'you're fuckin up the rotation'

 

71. puff puff pass motherfucker
72. light that joint up
73. Im so high, nothing can hurt me! haha from harold and kumar
74. the bowl is cherry
75. you gonna pass that shit or what?

 

76. I think it's cashed.

 

Damn, I was gonna put that one!

77. Man, Brian Williams has the most crooked eyebrows in history.

 

78. it's kicked...
79. to the left.
80. go for it.
81. i feel good, man.

 

Yup thats it, that should be #1, everyone says that

82. (Say something that dosn't go anywhere)So ahhhhhh.....I guess thats it.....