My boyfriend had to fly to the neighbor island for work on Friday. He had invited me along, and we planned on staying another day. So we get to Maui the Thursday, he goes off to work for a measly 3 hours, comes back to the hotel, and promptly wants to do nothing but sleep. This kind of irked me that he invited me along, and I'm wasting my weekend while he snoozes. I get over it. He has no ambition to do much else, but I go with it. Im ok with getting pizza, having a couple drinks in our room, and going to bed at 10 pm. Well, we fly back to Oahu and just before hand he gets a text from a buddy asking if he wants to go out to the bar. My boy asks me if this is cool. I'm kind of pissed, because all this time he had no energy and now that the trip that he invited me to is over, he magically isn't tired any longer. He tells me he doesn't really want to, but he feels as though he should, as he doesn't see his friends that much. I'll admit, he doesn't see his friends that much anymore, but due to their lack of diligence to keep the friendship adrift. Anyways, I tell him to go if he wants. He says it will be just a little while. He even tells his friend over the phone he would go out but it would be just for an hour. So we get home from the airport, and I find he left me a pile of dishes before we left, an he threw his bag of clothes all over our living room. Fast forward, he text me: Good call on not coming out. It's just 5 dudes and Andrea, and we haven't even left the apartment yet. This was going on two hours after he left. All I could think was 1st off, I wasn't even invited because it wa "boys" night, but how nice that Andrea is there. Snicker. I didn't say that, but then I asked him when he planned on coming home. He states he doesn't know and that if I wanted him home at a certain time, I should have told him. Basically, we had a small texting war. He is pissed at me, and I'm pissed at him. I am in need of cofirmatiob that I do, in fact, have a reason to be upset. Ok, I'll leave it at that....
I would be pissed, too. My husband pulls shit like that sometimes. One of the times, I told him not to bother coming home cuz I do better without him. He didn't like that much but it made me laugh on the inside
maybe this is why i've never had a serious relationship - fuck expectations and fuck anyone that is gonna be pissed at what i choose to do... i think that while your dude is kinda retarded inviting you to sleepfest 2011, for you to say it's cool to go out with his friends then get pissed when he isn't coming home RIGHT AWAY is also retarded. especially if it isn't like he's sneaking around - he told you where he is going, asked you, and is texting you while he is out...what more control and involvement do you want lady?
yeah and I don't think she's saying she wants control of him. Why would he all of a sudden get this energy to hang out with his friends but didn't want to do anything while they were together for a night in another town? Also...which is what sparks my fights with my husband...he left a mess for her to clean. She is his girlfriend, not his mother
I'm not trying to control him. He told me he was going out for a bit, and I even told him in our little "text war" that if he wanted to stay out later then just tell me, instead of blantly telling me outright it was for just a little while. I have no problem if he wants to go out with his friends, but I have a lot of problem with being lied to.
sounds like hardcore passive aggression - maybe on both ends. nothing pisses me off more than passive aggression...whether directed towards me or observing it. it's ugly and totally uncool also - any girl that has 'text wars' with me is fucking garbage
Its a lot sexier the more you try and control them, guys dig that. Next time you want some loving, remind him about the dishes, picking his clothes of the floor and how many times you've told him about that and maybe you can make him spaghetti on toast with the little bits of frankfurt in it just like his mum used to, and you can even wipe his chin for him after. He wont be able to keep his hands off you
Sounds like textbook trophy, possessive, take-me-out-and-hold-hands-and-compliment-me-on-my-outfit-and-make-up-games codependency to me,,,"honey." Hardcore is a lot hotter. Have you checked out your German Goo Girls today yet? Bitch does all that nasty shit THEN she lets him live his own life as he sees fit. w00t w00t! :biggrin:
You guys are kinda mean. Try to put yourself in her shoes for a minute. She wants someone to understand her not beat her down with insults.
im not insulting her, i just think it's ridiculous to allow your boyfriend to do something, then get pissed when he does it...
men are not mind readers. they feel attacked easily. wait a few days when thigns cool down and talk to him about it calmly and more level headedly or at least next time try that. and also after a few days it may not seem so big. just right now its offensive to you and feels disrespectful.
Its self compounding though, control him too much and you'll just turn him into a wuss that wont get you hot and bothered, thus you just keep getting angrier and angrier with him. As much as you all hate to admit it, you are all just as much a slave to your loins as they are. Feed the angry beaver or else you'll find yourself locking yourself in the laundry at the start of each month having a big cry apparently not knowing why
how is she trying to control him? she felt left out. that has nothing to do with control. if anything he controlled her by dragging her along and also by leaving her home while he went out for longer then he said. If he cared he might have said hay you wanna come for a bit?? Were just hanging out out here...
