Nice but it really does need to be longer and more descriptive.... you should dedicate yourself more. This is a great start to a short novel.. run with it man! I really enjoyed it, but was disappointed at the short life of it.
I know, I need to recall more dialog with other people, or invent it. I could have put in a gritty chapter about that short jail term in SF County Jail No. 2, San Bruno, California. Or a detailed description of how I got busted for being stoned. (I was on a different plane of existence and the cops couldn't touch me, so I thought.) All part of the summer of love. The question is, would all this hold the reader's interest? Most real life isn't really worth reading about. You get up, change your socks, brush your teeth, eat breakfast, talk to X and Y about their plans for the day, count your money, make up a shopping list, take a shit, sweep the floor, do the dishes. Get the drift? So if you want to hold the reader's interest, you leave most of that out, and limit your story to significant events, if there are any. In fact, it takes a good writer (Dos Passos, Hemingway) to hold the reader's interest when describing day to day affairs which have no sex, car chases, heavy romance, danger, and the like. See "Ghost River" (Writers Forum), which is a work in progress.
