Teaching your children well...

My son is turning 2. I'm trying to approach parenting with an open mind and heart. Just looking for some advice from other hippie parents who have been there and seen positive results from their own parenting styles. So I know this question is rather broad, but do any of you kind folks have any kernels of wisdom that you could send my way??

Thanks,
Hipstickadeedoo-2ya

 

There are a couple of things that come to mind...

Children are very much smarter, at a very much younger age, than it appears. Perhaps they can not yet express or show what they know, but please trust me, they are soaking up information like a sponge.

And one of the first things they can figure out is hypocrisy, and hypocrites. Don't tell them to be one thing while you're doing the opposite. Teach them to respect other people... people of other races, religions, national backgrounds, etc., by telling them that's the right way to live, then let them see you living as you have told them. Tell them to respect and care for the Earth and our environment, then show them how... do these things together and teach by leading and being a good example. At the same time you'll be spending what is popularly called, "spending quality time together". At the same time you'll be teaching them how to one day also be good parents.

These things are especially true when it comes to violence. DON'T HIT YOUR CHILDREN. Violence begets violence. There is the old saying, based on some passages from the Bible, "Spare the rod, spoil the child". There is some controversy as to the meaning of these passages, but here's the one I think is best. The "Rod" referred to is the staff with the crook on top that is used by shepherds to guide their sheep, to lift fallen sheep, to guard the sheep, and other things. It is not used to beat the sheep. Mutual Love and Respect will accomplish much, the children fearing and perhaps hating you won't.

It's not enough to tell them you Love and Respect them, you've got to show it. It's not enough to show Love and Respect, you've got to say it too. It's got to be both, tell them AND show them. You've got to talk the talk AND walk the walk.

Love, Respect, Honesty... these things are two way streets. Treat others as you want those others to treat you is never more true than with you children.

Part of having an open mind is going to include being ready, willing and able to learn from your children, and please believe me, they'll teach you plenty.

Also remember, they (your child or children) aren't you any more than you are your parents. They'll be themselves and think for themselves, and that may be hard but it's for the best.

Also, accept that you'll make mistakes. When (not if) you do, admit them and say you're sorry. They'll learn much from you doing that, very, very much.

Above all, cherish these years. They'll go by faster than... well, faster than you'll want them to. And remember one of the things you (you & the children) will be forming is the relationship that you'll have with each other for the rest of your life, and that'll cover many, many more years.

Peace,
poor_old_dad

 

your child will teach you on where he is to be guided and what his aspirations are and so be nourished

observe and listen

 

I'm only fifteen, but since my parents are always busy, so I take care of my half-sister. The other night she asked me if I were her real mother.

I agree with poor_old_dad when it comes to never hitting your child. My mother beat me when I was bad, and I grew up hating her. If you talk with your child instead of hitting them, you'll find that they're much more cooperative. If my mother would have talked to me before hitting me, I'm sure she would've found out why I wasn't doing what she told me. Violence doesn't solve anything, not even in parenting. It seems to make things even worse. (Here's a tip I learned: If you ever, ever want to hit your child, just leave the room. Take a few deep breaths. It helped me more than I could ever imagine.)

When they do something wrong, before you punish them, explain why they're being punished to begin with. If they threw their toys, tell them that they're being punished for that reason. When they're done with their punishment (I suggest a time-out for younger kids), ask them why they did what they did. After they tell you, give them a hug and tell them you love them.

Something that I've read from parenting books was to never use sweets or candy as a reward for your child if they do something good. I guess that they said that because the child would probably become materialistic, and that's not a good way to live. (In my opinion, anyway.) When my half-sister's good, I thank her for being good and give her a hug.

My mother was always a hypocrite when I was growing up. If I tell my half-sister something, like to recycle or eat healthy foods, I be sure to do the same. Kids learn by examples as well as words.

I hope I helped!