tell me what you think

A million suns come together
to recreate your unique beauty
chased by the moon
and its calming effect

your soul mirrors the farthest
reaches of the universe
expanding to meet
your ever changing curiosity

It feels a little cliche maybe but its honest. I think i need to make a few subtle changes.

like maybe tweak the last three lines to this

reaches of a universe
that is expanding to meet
your ever changing curiosity

 

nice wardrobe

 

haha thanks..what about the poem?

 

i agree with your cliche comment. VERY cliche. doesnt make it bad though. it's nice

 

good poem man, I really like it. I don't think you should change the last lines, either.

 

thanks so much...and yah i think the first four lines are the ones I felt were a lil cliche. but i like how I ended with four lines I feel are fairly unique

 

i've been reading some of the stuff off your freewebs site btw. A lot of true, deep stuff. Very refreshing to read.

 

Wow, I think it is great.
I wouldn't change anything either...
except adding a title, like 'She'

 

I truly think this is beautiful. I can never identify cliches...so I can't say on that...true and beautiful though...that I can say about it...