The Anti Joke thread

Jokes that are reverse of the norm or an unexpected punchline, but are still funny

e.g:

A giraffe walks into a bar and doesnt say anything cos it's a giraffe, it cant speak


Why did the chicken walk across the road?

It didnt have any other option, chickens cant fly and it was too young to drive


What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

To not fall for the shoe polish on binoculars trick again


Why did the chicken temporarily stop his heart with a defribrillator?

To get to the other side

 

lol different

 

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?

2, 1 to change the light bulb, 1 to hold the chair, or 0 if either of them run down to the shops and buys a pack of hair colouring



What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on your doorstep?

A quadruple amputee

 

How many nuns can you fit in a shoe box?

None

 

This joke is pretty terrible. A co-worker at an old lumber mill told it to me.

A plane had taken off from the US to Jamaica and crash landed in Austrailia where it was headed. Out of respect they flew the Americans back home to be buried.

"Where'd they bury the Jamaicans?"

Who cares?

 

What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?



Gimme my quarterback.



lol,...just awful :redface:

 

Husband and wife were dining out in a restaurant. When their main course was served the hubby's mistakenly had no vegetables. So he didnt complain and make a scene the wife gave him Her peas

 

Why did the Pakistani chicken cross the road

To get to the other Syed

 

A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy are all sitting on a park bench.


They share several minutes of uncomfortable silence due to cultural differences.

 

A black Guy, A mexican and an italian walk into a bar.

The bartender says "I've heard this joke before"

 

Horse enters a bar.
Barkeeper says "Why the long face?"

 

A barman says "we don't serve neutrinos"

A neutrino walks into the bar

 

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle?



Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human.

 

What do you call a senior citizen who can`t stop showing her genitals in public?

Madonna.

 

What do you call a man wearing a apron and a white hat, walking into a pub, with a pig under one arm, who orders a pint of ale for himself and nothing for the pig?

I don't know either, it was something that I saw the other day

 

What's brown and sticky?




A stick

 

How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them

 

How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb?

It doesn't matter; they don't have electricity.

 

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?"
The horse says "my wife just died of cancer, you asshole."

 

A skeleton walks into a bar and say..

"I need a beer and a mop"