it's a wet sunday afternoon 4.32 pm rain tapping out a rhythm on the windows not something i'd tap my feet to. open a beer out of spite at myself or someone else hoping the green glass reads like a change from all the grey in the world grey skies grey people all doing grey things it's enough to drive a man to suicide or perhaps it already did non-descript body standing on the edge briefcase in hand praying his life ain't gonna flash before him a house he lost to the first wife children he lost to the second an unhappy struggle for paternity rights before she moved away to sydney never gave an address. maybe she found a man in the sunshine got a tan and a facelift fell into some money sent the kids to all the right schools while he spent the days in a rented apartment mindless wishing that his spine would break - separate his spirit from his limbs so he could work his dead end job stack paper, sort files without ever having to think a thing. perhaps he jumped was reincarnated behind my eyes and i adopted his fifty years of boredom lost love failed marriages soul destroying jobs crying quietly in the corner of a strip joint counting out sleeping pills never having the courage they're all hiding somewhere in my skull he sees me suck at a beer shouts advice that i can't hear stuck in his own hell watching it happen all over again and after me another. millions of people crawling around in shit all over the world masking their fear with beer or whisky or wine too afraid to set their own course to clearer skies. he doesn't know i'm different yet he hasn't seen me pick up a pen.
wow, this one is incredible. there are at least three favorite lines for me in this one, but the first is: praying his life ain't gonna flash before him what a nice way to add a cliche to the poem and not let it be a cliche...
Jesus. This blew me away. There is so much to like here. I love so many of the lines. perhaps he jumped was reincarnated behind my eyes and i adopted his fifty years of boredom And the last line, what a strong finish. AWESOME.
im just going to second everyone else here, this was very good, nice story line and imagery. i really enjoyed reading it out loud...have you ever presented it anywhere? like at a poetry slam?
