The Best Way to Break Up?

I feel like there must be some better way to break-up with someone. I want to know exactly how people break up.

I feel like I must have done a horrible job at it because several months later my ex is still sending me messages, telling me he loves me and calling me his best friend.

It doesn't matter how many times I tell him or how many times I ignore him. I need some way of figuring out how to get him to stop!

 

I would stop responding to him. If he continues after your ignoring him for a long time, and you are feeling harassed, you might tell him that you are to the point where you feel uncomfortable and harassed, and that you will alert the proper authorities if he doesn't stop.

I think that anyone who can't understand what "leave me alone" means, has a problem.

 

NEVER easy to break up with someone.... even though Paul Simon says there is 50 ways...LOL
Seriously, I don't know....be honest and tell them to leave you alone if they are stalking you?

Maybe they think they still have a chance or something.

 

The last time I broke up with someone I said "This really isn't working for me anymore. Is it working for you?" he said "No" and that was that. I was also 16 years old so I don't think that counts.

My dad left his wife by moving out of the house while she was gone on a business trip. SURPRISE!!!

I don't know if there is a good way of going about it but I would definitely not respond to him. Basically everything that wcw said.

 

The best breakups are mutual ones or even sad situational ones.

The ones that suck are the ones that get you fearing for your safety, your family/friend's and property's safety, and the ones where you feel that breaking up puts you in a tough spot for retaliation in indirect ways. (Job denial, missed promotions, losing friends, and finding out you have no place else to live/go.

 

Grow a spine and tell him to kick rocks. It takes two to keep the communication going. Change your number.

I've had several guys who wouldn't get the message. I had to change my number several times for one guy.

I'm friends with all my exes though, and they know where they stand with me because I'm direct. I don't lead them on nor do I need the attention.

Now heres the real question, how do you get your exes girlfriend to stop calling and feeling threatened by you?

 

If you don't want his friendship, tell him that and ask him not to message you again.

When I break up, I tell the other person the exact reason that made me stop loving him. I don't just day "it isn't working," but I explain why.

Does "my method" work? In a way, because I end as friends of my exes. But it doesn't mean they don't hurt when the break up happens.

I'd say it's a "kind of" sort of thing.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=298nld4Yfds"]Paul Simon - 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover + lyrics - YouTube

 

send him a picture of you sucking some other guys dick.

oh wait maybe not... cuz he might forward that to your parents with note saying "time are tough send money"

 

wtf ever dude! ^^^^

I'm a born-again virgin.

Anyway, I did explain a lot of things to him. I've talked to him thoroughly about it 3 or 4 times. It's been 6 months now. I've not talked to him a lot during this time too. I've ignored him a lot or just said, "please stop contacting me". To be fair it started as a break...then it became a "let's just be friends" because I care about him and thought that would work, but he doesn't understand how to be friends with me...then it was "don't contact me unless it's a very tangible reason".

So he contacted me because a mutual friend of ours needed some help from me. (I'm a pretty hard person to get in touch with for most people) When that was over, he was still contacting me often...he "tricked" me into talking to him on the phone, I thought it was going to be about our friend, but it wasn't. I was slightly tipsy and very talkative and really enjoyed talking to him, but at the end I was like..."so what was this call about''? It was about nothing, he just wanted to talk to me. That was a month or more ago...he has still been contacting me for no reason at all. Saying inappropriate things, "I love you", etc.

I feel bad for him, but it has to stop. I'm really not good at being mean to people to be honest. I'm a very compassionate person, I feel like I've been clear, but for one thing, I didn't break up with him when I should have...I initiated a break first.

I don't plan on being in a relationship anytime soon, but I need to know how to break-up with people. In the past all I did was just ignore people and stop being in contact with them...I was a teenager in all my other relationships except one and my long-term relationship that ended a few years ago.

 

Also everytime I get somewhat strict about my boundaries he does something like this:

You don't wanna give me just a few minutes? What are you anti-social?

Oh you don't want to hear from me? How much do you hear from your other friends.


It's ridiculous. I've been surprised by a break-up too but I was much younger and much more able to have some pride and just give up and not try to force someone to talk to me more than once. I don't get it. It's not me, it's him. I thought he was a nice guy, but it wasn't until we broke up and he started acting so dramatic and whiny about everything that I realized there might be something off...I don't know.

 

"born again virgin"

lol, sorry I just think that's funny every time I hear it. There's no such thing I'm sorry to say, but think whatever you want.

Far as your ex goes. It may be complicated as it sounds like you share some mutual friends and such and it may be he has a real hard to get closure with him, but rest assured time will pass, and he will eventually get over you. But just don't make the fatal mistake of sleeping with him on some random event

 

You're supposed to laugh it was a joke.

Much love also to the person who thumbs down everything I write and then thumbs up every time that you think someone has insulted me. I'm so sorry your life sucks that bad.

Anyway, it's just offensive to me to be told to not sleep with someone I don't want to sleep with at a time I don't want to have sex with anyone. Especially when I never see this person, don't have sex with people I'm not in a relationship with and definitely don't have sex with exes. Just silly to be warned to not do something I would never in a million years even consider.

 

I have seen someone doing this to you several times, and don't understand why they would want to do that.

If you have been clear to this person that you no longer want contact from them the best thing you can do is ignore them, and block all their methods of contact with you.

 

Tell him you can't be friends anymore and when he asks you one of those dumb ass questions, tell him yes, you're antisocial now and you talk to all your friends except for him because he is no longer your friend. You have to beat down his hope like a baby seal since apparently being nice and having tact is not working with this guy. It's for his own good.

 

Point of information.

The term "anti-social" is misused a lot.

Clinically "anti-social" means one is anti-society and finds the concept of hurting others as appealing. Hitting, torturing physically or psychologically, rape, manipulation , and murder, are anti-social. So to reiterate actions that cause chaos and are anti-society. (This can include property damage too, as anti-social behaviors)

There is another word that's used to describe closing oneself off from contact with others.

Ah I remember it now! The term is Asocial.

 

But yeah usestobe, you've tried the nice approach...now you can be or are free to be a bit more, how should I say....brisk about the rejection.

 

lol....

Honey....idk, I think sometimes you gotta be a bitch in life to get your point across. If you're too nice people think things may change back or they still have a chance.

 

Protection From Abuse Orders help too..

 

Nah, I think they're mutually exclusive things:

1. Being a bitch/jerk

2. Being nice or letting someone down easy when it comes to rejection.

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If you tried the humble soft approach first, that means your being sensitive but effective, but if that fails resorting to a more blunt way to get your point across is a justified response, not one made on assumption or an ideological view on others but rather pragmatism.

Therefore, not a jerk or bitch.


IMHO jerks and bitches come to the table with preconceived notions and opinions and force them in situations or on people where they think their worldview on things applies, when in fact it might not and they come off all haughty, high and mighty, and may be selfish a lot of the time.