The Comforting Earth

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by Naoki_ninja, Aug 1, 2007.

  1. Naoki_ninja

    Naoki_ninja Bruce Lee's hero

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    In the comfort of the leaves, i sit,
    things seem to melt away with the passing of days,
    water,...shimmering light that nurses us back to ourselves,
    i cannot leave this place,
    for surely i will loose my will to carry on,
    surely i will again loose myself in the crowd.


    no, i cannot leave this place,
    where the tree trunks act like my seat,
    as i watch the the miraculous water that carries on without worries,



    In the comforting leaves, i sit.

    ~Danni
     
  2. redyelruc

    redyelruc The Yard Man

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    I really like this poem. It speaks to me of withdrawing in to that private place within, where all the world seems unimportant. It sets a beautiful scene, where I felt warm and safe, not wanting to read another poem today for fear of breaking the spell. Beautiful...

    Peace,
    Aidan
     
  3. redyelruc

    redyelruc The Yard Man

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    One small criticism. Maybe, I would change the first line to

    In the comfort of leaves, I sit.

    It seems to read out loud a little easier like this.
    Peace,
    Aidan
     
  4. Naoki_ninja

    Naoki_ninja Bruce Lee's hero

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    thanx for the comments! i appreciate any criticism; it only makes a person better at what they love.~Danni
     
  5. Jack Maundrell

    Jack Maundrell C.A.P

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    cool man cool
     
  6. Wormed

    Wormed Member

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    I love it! Keep up the awesome work :)
     
  7. Freakymetalchik

    Freakymetalchik BITCH.

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    Wow this is beautiful!!!! :)
     
  8. mr_alleycat

    mr_alleycat Member

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    Loved It!
    In her embrace we sleep
     
  9. unlearn.and.be.free

    unlearn.and.be.free Guest

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    Very cool. Comforting Earth. Love it!
     
  10. children of korn

    children of korn Member

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    awesome poem
     
  11. blackheartbitch

    blackheartbitch Member

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