The Concert

Discussion in 'U.K.' started by Lozi, May 4, 2005.

  1. Lozi

    Lozi Senior Member

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    The Concert

    The hat, lady tiebrace

    above my thyroid smile,
    Convinced that palms of silver pay,
    my penance for a while.

    My dutiful Cor Anglais finds a fault within the primate hoots,
    that once were a blissfilled bubble of fruity notes.
    ANd a fortunate fly passed by my brow,
    which hummed to me
    a productive sigh.

    Wisty mercy,
    complete the piece.
    But don't remember to forget the dire,
    straight beats of velocity.

    The groaning Baton taps over gentle cracks,
    but no turning back will ever change the menace
    nor the flat tuning.
     
  2. Dandelion_Blood

    Dandelion_Blood Gremlin

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    insane as every.. i really like this one lozi.... !
     
  3. Lozi

    Lozi Senior Member

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    anything you would change?
     
  4. dapablo

    dapablo redefining

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    Taken me a couple of reads over a few hours but Think I got there, sounds a bit like the local orchestra. Ta.
     
  5. primevel_jm_livid

    primevel_jm_livid Member

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    i love the dire straights of velocity line .. lozipot should be poet laureate methinks :D
     
  6. Lozi

    Lozi Senior Member

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    nice of you to comment jess, you're too kind.
     
  7. Dandelion_Blood

    Dandelion_Blood Gremlin

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    what do you think?
     
  8. Lozi

    Lozi Senior Member

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    i'd probably make it longer and more specified to the description of the instruments perhaps...and the people playing them...
     
  9. Dandelion_Blood

    Dandelion_Blood Gremlin

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    do it then, if you think thats what it needs!
     
  10. Lozi

    Lozi Senior Member

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    from that idea of changing it became some episodes i wrote about loads of different musical instruments. i didn't have the heart to change the original...(sorry i seem to write all about me me me meep!)
     

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