The Dichotomy of Sexuality

Society as recognised heterosexuality as the norm, or majority, for nigh all of history. Until recently, The idea of homosexuality was generally (do not nitpick this please) considered to be a disorder, and only in the last ~40 years has acceptance grown towards homosexuals. With the acceptance of homosexuality, society has begun to exhibit a dichotomy towards sex and sexuality, ie) if you are not straight, you must, therefore, be gay. By drawing a difinitve line between sexualities, one invites the discussion of those who are exceptions. A prominent exception is bisexuality. Some consider this to be a valid sexual orientation, while others, often homosexual themselves, consider it 'repressed homosexuality'. It strikes me as odd (read hypocritical) that a person who holds an independant prespective on sexuality can be critical of the sexuality experiences of others. The assumption that one must be attracted to a specific sex is as prejudiced as a heterosexual refusing to beleive that one man can hold sexual feelings for another. By placing sexual attraction on a linear spectrum, one can more easialy describe feelings for both the male and female sex (in the purpose of this discussion, attraction towards transgendered and androgenous persons will not be discussed, as i do not have experience with such individuals, though in further discussion please feel free to add) without atributing a strict single sex sexuality.

********Sexual Attraction***********
Male<--------------|------------->Female
100% *******50%/50% *********100%


Further complicating the sexuality matter, is the strength of Sexuality. Like understanding the sexuality of another, people can find it difficult to accept that some individuals might not like or have an interest in sex with either gender. This Asexuality, like homosexuality before it, is often thought of as a disorder. Often for these individuals, there is an underlying attraction to a sex (or both), but generally as a romantic attraction istead of a sexual one. As you can see, the borders between the standard sexualities easialy blur as more variables are added, even making the creation of a sexual definition difficult. As sex is so ingrained within modern society (even many neopagan religions place a strong spiritual sense on sex), is there any way to reform sexual ideas within the populace, while maintaining acceptance for any form of sexuality?

Information on Me:
As i was growing up, i realised that i would begin to feel myself attracted to the girls around me, but as time passed, this momment never came. I assumed i was a late bloomer, until i learned about homosexuality. I began to explore the possibility that I would become want relationships with men, and did find that I could think of my classmates as being 'hot or not". But the associated attraction to them never came. I searched the internet, and found AVEN, an asexuality website. this offered much to me, and allowed me to accept that i did not have to want to have sex with either gender. I consider myself Attracted Asthetically towards males over females (due to exploration of homosexuality), but emotionaly i feel for women, and would like to eventually get married and have kids, even if it means i need to have sex. i do plan on trying both hetero and homo sex to be sure of the decision, but as of now, i am hoping to avoid it as long as possible.

 

Thankyou for sharing your perspective. I think that you are absolutely right in what you say. I fully agree that it is not (and should not be!) a black and white issue of either gay or straight. People are much more complicated than that. Correct me if I am wrong, but I think that studies have shown that many if not most people are actually bisexual at least to a degree.

All the best on your journey- do whatever makes you happiest!

 

it has been my belief before i even knew of studies and such that everyone by nature is infact bisexual to varying degrees, that cutlure and this black and white dichotomy and simplification of everything has caused society to imitate.... religion, especially patriarchal judeo-Christian religion saw the power of female sexuality as a threat, and especially women sexually independent of men. infact i would venture to say that the degree of masculine and feminine energies within a person were much more balanced compared to this division of male and female today. and you can not deny the correlation of these energies to sexuality.

are you farmiliar with the practice of homo and bisexualiy....the greeks, the romans, small tribes throughout the world, the amazons, the island of lesbos lol.....male priests and their imfamous boys??? the dress and attire of upperclass males in highclass european/American society??? (infact i dont believe in heterosexuality or homosexuality, or the limitating implications - i believe in a person who do to circumstances in his or her life, and inherent sexual drives, has led them to feel both security and sexual attraction with one sex or the other, this often times is not in balance as a female might feel more secure in relatinships with men while more sexually attracted to women)

as kinsey said "homosexuality is [currently] out of fasion."