11.03.2003 There are times when the triggers are pulled, to fast, and too hard, 3 days away from the bottomless abysmal, and in the rapids, somehow not quite sure how I managed or even at times how i piloted the craft, but have found a bit of fast but smooth channel amid the tumultuous rapids, between the endless high gray and black walls, of this strange and empty place, these caverns measureless to man, the air is thin, rarefied, but nearly pure oxygen, half the body screams dire warnings of aphxyiation, while the other half laughs hysterrically, hypoxiated, complexicated, white fire terror burns the pathways of my mind, the falls are coming, I can hear thier roar, dirt cascades down the cliffs, as the very foundation rock of self, shakes in full mad terror, the smooth channel is gone, in less than an instant, in the null time between thoughts, the cataract grabs my frail craft, steam catapult, hurls it at the brink of the falls, the edge of forever, the lip of the maw, of infinite despair!!! The roar of the falls crescendos, crashing through the registers, till a screeching black howl sound fills my head, jackles rip my soul, and the fall begins Endlessly below lies an ocean lifeless, an ocean of the purest pain an ocean of insane. above the screaching howl above the endless scream of pain, that echos through my brain above all sound, beyound the ear, a voice doth fill my head, the voice I loathe to hear, I'm coming for you Kevin, I'm coming for to dine, dine upon your precious mind. For ancient is mine enemy and he comes now for what's mine. My eyes fill wide my face my mouth doth swallow up my head, so wide it screams it's dread, for there not far below, comes the essence of all dread, on hells' breath rising, comes the pain, the pain that is myself, for ancient is mine enemy and always has he been his taloned claws are back two foot or more they are and MOTHER OF ALL WEIRDNESS DELIVER ME, FOR THIS IT CANNOT BE, The bastards armored now from head to tail complete with diamond tipped razor claw, it dangles me upended, and spits into my "I"its deepest hate, in it's slithering, sibulant, sickly, voice, all scathing criticism something to know before your mine, mine for all of time, "you are the fool of all fools, for you could have had it all, but wasted life in compassionate causes, and so called "noble" quests, damn you! For now you are none but pain!!!" Its' other razor claw all intent brutality, from toe to tip scythes through me in pain beyond all reason, with one brutal swipe of claw, the self that is identity, is shred in isloated strips the I of me that was always mine, it doth cease now for to be. Spash down in the sea, the sea that is insane. Upon this storm ripped surface, scattered scraps,skitter, hither thither, there is no I of me, my mind that is, a screeching, black howl, endless scream of pain, is all that's in my head the empty hulk of a knight sits in the corner look not into his eyes, therein is only horror, he only wanted a better life,a ceasing of hostility within himself, and for all his beloved human family, a knight whose only knowing, is pain beyound all knowing, a knight who is only now, so much worse than dead.
